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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my 2 year old on his potty in a restaurant?

235 replies

Volodya · 05/08/2008 20:00

I took 2yo ds and 7mo dd up to town yesterday. We're on week 2 of potty training ds. It's going fine but I still carry a potty everywhere I go.

I was planning to get us sandwiches for lunch and sit outside but it was raining so we ended up in a museum cafe at lunchtime. Of course I tried to put ds on the potty before we went in and of course he declined to do anything.

When we were about 15 minutes into the meal, both children in high chairs, everything liberally smeared with pasta bolognese and spinach puree, dd's buggy piled high with all her lunch detritus (cool bag, bits of rice cake, muslin, blah blah), ds announced that he needed his potty. That tends to mean that he needs it NOW.

So rather than clearing everything out of the buggy, strapping in spinach-covered dd, packing everything up, picking up bolognese-covered ds, and heading off to find out where the loos were, I simply whisked the potty under the table between ds's high chair and the buggy and popped him on, crouching down in front of him so that (I hoped) he was virtually hidden from view. (It was not a busy cafe and we weren't very close to any other tables).

Within about a minute and a half I was approached by the waiter asking if we could "transfer your son to the toilets", citing health and safety and saying that he'd already had a couple of complaints from other customers! I said that I didn't see how this could be done, with dd, buggy etc and ds already on the potty...! The waiter was v sympathetic and said he completely understood but that he was in a difficult position because of other customers' complaining. Fortunately the situation was resolved at that point by ds standing up to reveal a clean potty...

So WIBU to put him in the potty in the restaurant in that situation? (WIBU to leave my house on week 2 of potty training?!) How would you have handled this differently?

OP posts:
Hecate · 05/08/2008 20:13

and..what were you planning on doing with the wee?

Carrying the full potty through the cafe to the toilets?

Tipping it into something?

Asking the waiter to get rid of it for you?

Leaving it there for the duration of your meal then taking it to the loo while pushing the pushchair and managing all your things and the kids?

Leaving it at the table and legging it?

GordonTheGopher · 05/08/2008 20:13

Gosh is this the fastest growing thread in MN history?

Oh and fwiw YABU but I'm not going to be quite as nasty as everyone else!

CuckooClockWorkShy · 05/08/2008 20:14

I am laughing so much as I type this. My son is a bit older than your son and I wouldn't do this!!

I nearly gag if he wants me to wipe his bum while I'm in the kitchen cooking, never mind eating.

misdee · 05/08/2008 20:14

hey i wasnt nasty!

Hecate · 05/08/2008 20:14

great minds! x posts with iris & jelly!

IdrisTheDragon · 05/08/2008 20:14

I can see that you didn't intend it to happen, that you were eating in a restaurant, but probably a good idea to check where the toilets are before you start eating next time.

LIZS · 05/08/2008 20:14

Yeuk sorry. It is a case of drop everything and run to the loo, plan ahead so you can do this even with a baby in tow. Could you not have taken him before you sat down to eat ?

wulfstan · 05/08/2008 20:14

ewwwwww. Yabu. For once in my life health and safety got it right.

OrmIrian · 05/08/2008 20:14

Yes YABU.

Yuck.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/08/2008 20:14

THat's what pull-up pants are for.

When you are toilet training you need to be prepared to get up and take him to the toilet at such short notice - so either you take an accompanying adult with you to assist, you dont go out to cafe's, or, you leave the potty training for a couple of months.

HumphreyPinCushion · 05/08/2008 20:15

This makes no sense to me.

If you had really allowed your DS to use his potty in a cafe, you would then have had to take a full potty, DS, DD and buggy to the toilets, in order to empty and clean the potty.

Which is far more hassle than just scooping up DD, and rushing DS to the toilets in order for him to use them.

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow · 05/08/2008 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CuckooClockWorkShy · 05/08/2008 20:16

What misdee said. Grab your valuables, leave your buggy, coats, food, and make a mad dash to loo. The waiter will give it five minutes before he even starts wondering, have they gone for good or just gone to the loo?

Hulababy · 05/08/2008 20:17

Sorry but I agree with majority - YABU, it was the wrong thing to do.

posieflump · 05/08/2008 20:17

sorry but agree with the others, yabu
there is a reason you don't go far from home when potty training

2luvlyboys · 05/08/2008 20:17

I too can understand both POVs. I am on week 3 of potty training. I have a 8 nearly 9 mo baby. DS1 Doing brilliantly but doesn't give much notice yet. For that reason I wouldn't put myself in that situation where I would have to take both sons unstrapped from high chair and to the toilets PDQ!! I can't imagine anything more stressful! Infact finding eating out with ds1 extremely stressful at the moment anyway wouldn't contemplate it on my own (without dh etc) at the moment for that reason!!

Original poster
Volodya · 05/08/2008 20:17

OK thanks everyone I get the message!

I will be Better Organised in future...

OP posts:
2luvlyboys · 05/08/2008 20:17

I too can understand both POVs. I am on week 3 of potty training. I have a 8 nearly 9 mo baby. DS1 Doing brilliantly but doesn't give much notice yet. For that reason I wouldn't put myself in that situation where I would have to take both sons unstrapped from high chair and to the toilets PDQ!! I can't imagine anything more stressful! Infact finding eating out with ds1 extremely stressful at the moment anyway wouldn't contemplate it on my own (without dh etc) at the moment for that reason!!

MadamePlatypus · 05/08/2008 20:18

Yes, you are being very unreasonable. How do you expect the restaurant to maintain health and safety standards if you are using a potty in the eating area? I know its difficult to potty train, but what exactly do you think the restaurant should have done?

Whether or not you need to stay in the house during potty training really depends on how hard core you want to be about the potty training. However, it must be possible to avoid being on your own in a restaurant with two children when you are potty training, particularly in summer.

MrsSprat · 05/08/2008 20:18

bleuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh
U, V

ChirpyGirl · 05/08/2008 20:18

God, and my mate and I though a dad was really cruel to make his son go on teh potty in teh middle of the play area at the park (and I mean 'in the middle'
Embarrasing for child, and gross of you, and I am adding my name to the list of people who are dying to know what the hell you were going to do with a full potty?!
(and even if it was a travel potty, that's still beyond nasty)

PavlovtheCat · 05/08/2008 20:19

Scoop up both children, go to the toilet, and if an accident happens on the way, deal with it in the toilet.

No-one said having children would be easy or straightforward, awkward situations are going to occur and you have to deal with them, without teaching your child awful habits such as weeing at the dinner table.

YWBU - the staff would have understood that you had gone to the toilet with your children.

Califrau · 05/08/2008 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gingernutlover · 05/08/2008 20:20

ummm OP has said she realised she was wrong .........

just to risk being shot down tho, yesterday i put dd on the portapottty at the play park (outside, huge, big walk to toilets, behind a bin)

milge · 05/08/2008 20:20

What would you have done if he had "gone" in his potty??

would have left everything, including other children, and gone to the loo