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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give another child who I am looking after some cough medicine?

44 replies

ComeOVeneer · 04/08/2008 13:17

Dsis, has just phoned up and had a go at me. Situation is this -

Sister works full time, I am a SAHM. Neice was staying with us for a few days and the last night had developed a nasty cough. £am she was woken up by it, so I gave her some cough medicine (honey, lemon and glycerine). She told sister this morning and then I received a phone call saying I should never have given her any medicine without asing her (sister) first. AIBU or is this reactio OTT?

OP posts:
posieflump · 04/08/2008 13:18

yanbu

is she usually that neurotic? does your neice have any allergies etc?

belgo · 04/08/2008 13:19

bit OTT of her, especially as it was a very benign medicine.

PinkChick · 04/08/2008 13:20

as a childminder i have to onyl give medication given to me by parents, but as a friend/sister i wouldnt have thouhgt twice, i would prob know about anything she should not have been given and was doing it to help!

RubyRioja · 04/08/2008 13:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

meemar · 04/08/2008 13:22

I think you were reasonable in trying to help your niece's cough. It was a single dose of an over the counter syrup. Unless your sister had specifically told you not to give certain medication or informed you of any allergies YANBU.

Did she expect you to call up in the middle of the night?

Original poster
ComeOVeneer · 04/08/2008 13:22

That is what I thought, surely if she trusts me enough to care for her child for a few days she should trust me enough in this instance. No known allergies, not usually neurotic. What did she want me to do, phone at 3am to ask her!

She said it is a medicine neice had never had before, it wasn't one she (sister) had sent with her so I shouldn't have taken it ponmyself to decide to give her somme medicne wihout "permission".

OP posts:
PinkChick · 04/08/2008 13:23

you wre giving her a 'night off' did she expect you to leave her dd suffer and you saty awake all night?SHE is BU!

JuneBugJen · 04/08/2008 13:23

its not a medicine surely!
Its not like you gave her codeine linctus.

Prob would call in future, but also would consider not being too quick in future to babysit unless rules made clear 1st. Did she sound cheesed off or just concerned?

mumblechum · 04/08/2008 13:23

Sisis BU

RubyRioja · 04/08/2008 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

posieflump · 04/08/2008 13:24

blimey! well she has shot herself in the foot as I doubt you'll be offering free childcare again!

Original poster
ComeOVeneer · 04/08/2008 13:24

She was angry!

OP posts:
PinkChick · 04/08/2008 13:24

a few days!!.the cheek!, tell her you need a list of items for next stay, or dont offer to have niece, see how she likes that!

belgo · 04/08/2008 13:24

I would also not be too quick to babysit in the future, especially not overnight babysitting.

PinkChick · 04/08/2008 13:24

how old is niece?

JuneBugJen · 04/08/2008 13:26

I think you have the right to be angry back, but don't be.
Just put to her that if she wants you to babysit in future she will have to trust your judgement on 'minor' issues like this. You will follow any specifics but not spend your entire few days (!!! the ingrate!) fretting as to what your sister would permit.

tiggerlovestobounce · 04/08/2008 13:28

You should have called her before you gave her medicine, but TBH I wouldnt call what you gave her medicine.
I dont think that you can be surprised that your sister is annoyed. You gave her something (actually harmless, but you sister didnt know that when your neice told her) and then your sister wasnt informed by you in the morning, but by her child.
If this morning when you first saw her you had said "DN was coughing in the night so I gave her some honey/lemon/glycerine mixture" she would probably have been fine about it.

rebelmum1 · 04/08/2008 13:29

It's unusual for a medicine to be so benign, they can contain all sorts of ingredients that are not so innocuous. I wouldn't want anyone giving my dd medicine BUT i would mention it first, and I wouldn't blame them for wanting to help.

JuneBugJen · 04/08/2008 13:29

calling at 3 in the morning for something that is not even a proper medicine?

Blu · 04/08/2008 13:30

Honey
lemon
Glycerine (present in loads of sweets, cakes etc)

Would she have sounded off had you given any of those ingredints separately?
She is BVU.

She knows you have professional training which involves drugs an would observe protocols about what drugs mix, whether she had reactions etc, and you knew she was taking no other medication because she was staying with you.

Had you pu her on anti-biotics or something, she may have a point.

As it is she needs to get a grip.

rebelmum1 · 04/08/2008 13:31

did it stop the cough?

rebelmum1 · 04/08/2008 13:31

what was the brand?

misselizabethbennett · 04/08/2008 13:31

YANBU as she is your neice and you had her for a few days. Wouldn't give anything to a friend's child or someone I only had for a short time, but if you're prepared to leave your child with someone for a few days, you can't expect to control everything that goes into their mouths.

A bit at your sister - she is not treating you nicely.

JuneBugJen · 04/08/2008 13:33

totally agree with blu and misse

cocolepew · 04/08/2008 13:34

Your Sister is being very unreasonable, you did it to help your neice, and it was only honey, lemon and glycerine, hardly poison.