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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go in my own garden at 8am with a 2 year old?

92 replies

crokky · 04/08/2008 08:41

I need to know if I have been a bad neighbour - honest answers please

So...we have a small garden overlooked by 5 other houses. After DS (age 2) and DD (4 months) went to bed last night, me and DH put together a plastic mini slide and cube thingy (about 1m x 1m plus slide, so not massive) for DS and put it in the garden. This morning DS saw it from the kitchen window and immediately said "SLIDE!! SHOES!!" and went to find his shoes to go outside. So I let him, it was 8am and he was not shrieking or anything like that. Cue naked neighbour man at bedroom window with very angry face. [Our baby wasn't crying or anything]. Am I supposed to stay indoors until a certain time?

And another question...am I being an idiot?...there are little mushrooms coming up through the grass (just plain grass in middle of garden, no other plants etc) - are they poisonous? Not planning on eating them or anything but just want to know as chidren rolling around in garden? We didn't have a garden at last place so am a total dummy with this sort of stuff.

OP posts:
Tigerschick · 04/08/2008 09:50

I would say that 8am is fine - but then, I live on a farm and the milking machines start at 4.30 so anything after that isn't new!!
WRT the neighbour; maybe talk to him as you don't want an unpleasant situation developing but, I have to say, I agree with whoever it was who said that it isn't your fault if he works nights. The world can't stop so that he can sleep. If you know in advance that he is working nights then you can act accordingly and keep your dc inside until later but if you don't know then how can you take it into consideration?

roisin · 04/08/2008 09:55

I think 8am is fine, certainly on a weekday. Anyone complaining about that is rude.

In the same way that when my children were tiny sometimes it might have been personally inconvenient to me if local teenagers were playing loud music in the evening, but I wouldn't think it unreasonable until after, say, 10pm. And I wouldn't complain about it probably until 11pm.

LIZS · 04/08/2008 09:57

8am fine imho

lazaroulovesleggings · 04/08/2008 10:00

Who made your neighbour the god of outside play?

For frigs sake!

cocolepew · 04/08/2008 10:02

My neighbour was cutting his grass, with a petrol mower, at 8 this morning. I wanted to throttle him.

lazaroulovesleggings · 04/08/2008 10:03

Lawn mowers and strimmers are annoying at any time.

Kewcumber · 04/08/2008 10:06

8am is fine. Mushrroms in lawn very common - brush them off and bin.

Original poster
crokky · 04/08/2008 10:07

Thanks for the replies - I have never had so many!

In answer to some of your points:

  1. No, neighbour is not like Brad
  2. It is raining here, but I let him go out anyway as he was so pleased to see the slide
  3. I don't think that the guy works nights - the car goes out in the morning and comes back in the evening
  4. DS was not shouting or anything like that. Perhaps it was me jumping around, I am just as pleased with the slide as DS is
OP posts:
Bridie3 · 04/08/2008 10:08

8am on a weekday morning is fine. Out here, everyone considers 6am onwards as perfectly reasonable.

tuttuttut · 04/08/2008 10:09

Well for the last year every weekday i've had the builders across the road drilling, banging etc every morning from 7.30am which is perfectly legal. I wouldn't have a problem with a toddler shrieking at all, i would much prefer that.

elkiedee · 04/08/2008 10:09

8 am seems perfectly reasonable. As someone else has said, I worry about our 15 month old being disturbed at 9 pm but I wouldn't complain about it as such. On a typical weekday we get up between 6 and 7 and ds about 7 or so but it can be worse than that.

largeginandtonic · 04/08/2008 10:19

Think 8am is reasonable on a weekday, i don't let mine out to play till 9 but they are a noisy bunch

Little ones in the garden are not really noisy are they?

elkiedee · 04/08/2008 10:25

Anyway, how lovely that he's so thrilled with his slide. Your neighbour's obviously a miserable git. I mind noisy kids outside much less than noisy adults, unfortunately we have far more of the latter.

TheHedgeWitch · 04/08/2008 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mumblechum · 04/08/2008 10:26

"little ones in the garden aren't really noisy"??

Allow me to introduce you to the 3 year old next door to me who bellows constantly to her mother at the other end of the garden. Why they can't speak to each other within a 6 feet radius I have no idea

amner · 04/08/2008 10:27

Perfectly acceptable.

I dont think the mushrooms are poisonous, but I'd try and stop him eating them just in case.

TheHedgeWitch · 04/08/2008 10:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jellyhead · 04/08/2008 10:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheArmadillo · 04/08/2008 10:31

perfectly acceptable imo. It's your garden.

If you were holding a rave at 3am then that would be different.

If other people work nights/want lie ins etc then they should wear earplugs/have double glazing etc. They can't stop other people who have nothing to do with them having a life.

(My dad used to work nights- he certainly didn't expect it to affect his neighbours lives).

I wouldn't expect anyone not to have e.g. a bbq at night cos it would wake my ds. That's my problem to deal with.

cmotdibbler · 04/08/2008 10:34

8am perfectly reasonable, esp on a weekday. Here the tractors start going along the main road at 6.30am (agricultural area and the packing stations are the other side of town from us), and our bin lorry comes at 6.45am.

I'd say that 'quiet hours' are 10.30pm till 7am, and outside of that its a free for all unless you have specific rules where you live, or a neighbour has asked specifically (for a good reason like ill member of family) for quiet in morning /evening.

JuneBugJen · 04/08/2008 10:35

ah re: comment hedgewitch, I did correct myself later saying they could be on nights.

What I meant is there is alot of noise of workers, traffic, milkmen etc anyway at that time.

Jux · 04/08/2008 10:35

Yeah, on weekdays the Council think it's OK for their men to drill the road etc after 7am so noise after 8 perfectly OK.

kslatts · 04/08/2008 10:39

I think 8am is fine and would let my children play out in the garden at that time.

Some other posters have mentioned that the neighbour may have been on nights, but if that is the case then waiting until 9am, or even 10am will probably not make any difference as he will still be trying to sleep, if he was that bothered by the noise he should of just shut his windows.

nappyaddict · 04/08/2008 10:40

8am is fine. possibly earlier on a weekday? i leave it til 8 but ds always wants to go out earlier. do any of you let yours out before then?

unknownrebelbang · 04/08/2008 10:44

YANBU, but do speak to him later to see if there is a particular issue with the time.

DH works shifts, and is dreadful if his sleep is disturbed but he accepts that children play and would consider 8 am to be a reasonable time on a weekday. I also try to keep mine quiet at certain times because my neighbour also works shifts.

The bin trucks come before 8 am;
Deliveries of all sorts are made, including noisy blardy gravel before 8 am;
Roadworks often start before 8 am.
Folk are driving their (sometimes loud) cars at all times of the day and night.
People do DIY and gardening at all times of the day.

etc etc etc.

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