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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

do i REALLY have to explain why me and dh rent our house?

217 replies

spudFace · 31/07/2008 19:06

we have been together for 20 years and have never had loads of money to save for a mortgage. what makes it worse is that my parents are very well off and have watched us struggle (and suffer) over the years. I am sick of telling people that i rent cos of all this but should i have to? i know that this subject will come up in conversation tomorrow with some new friends i have made recently. Am sick of the puzzled looks i get when i say I RENT MY HOUSE!!

what CAN i say to just tell people its none of their beeswax?

OP posts:
kerala · 31/07/2008 20:57

Most of my mum friends rent and they (and their husbands) are in terrifyingly impressive well paid high powered jobs. Why would anyone look down on you for renting how odd.

KatieDD · 31/07/2008 20:59

You've probably made one of the smartest financial decisions in the last 10 years, your rent won't crucify you, watch their lifestyles change as the recession deepens, anyone who bought in the last 5 years will be f*cked.

KatieDD · 31/07/2008 21:05

Oh Zenia do not encourage your children to buy at the begining of a property market crash, if they wait 2/3 years they'll be much better off in the future and may even be able to afford to be a SAHM, I know how proud you'd be

hifi · 31/07/2008 21:07

i think its because most people have aspirations to own their own home, you dont. i hated renting,having to be careful not to break or damage anything,get thrown out when they decided.

AlexandraPeppernose · 31/07/2008 21:13

I can't say i've ever been asked why I rent. What a bizarre question!

Milkysallgone · 31/07/2008 21:17

We rent after having had other mortgaged properties in the past. I am extremely happy that I am living in a 3 bed house which is big enough to accomodate my family, in a great area neat great schools. We could not afford to buy this house in the current climate, no way.

Being reasonably new to the area the subject of renting/buying has come up on a few occasions when meeting new people, and they look quite baffled when I tell them 'Yes we are renting and no we're not "looking to buy"', as there is a rather snobbish assumption round here that that is what all renters must be doing. I actually quite enjoy making them feel awkward when I tell them quite bluntly that we cannot afford a house in this area.

Yanbu

hughjarssss · 31/07/2008 21:27

Katie - We brought in the last five years we will not be "fucked". We can afford our mortgage and the increasing interest rates only affect those that are not on a fixed deal, or whose deal is ending soon.
The same as falling house prices only affect those who want/need to sell soon.

People who are on a long term fixed and don't wish to move, (which is the majority of home owners I should imagine) will be fine.

And just as a point of interest, as the cost of living increases so are the rents, in my area at least. Buy to Let landlords pass the cost of their mortgage increases onto the tenant and landlords also take advantage of more people having to rent due to not being able to get a mortgage.
To buy my house costs the same as to rent it, so in my case, renting is dead money.

I wouldn't, however look down on anyone that rents and I can see the real advantages it has for many people.

KatieDD · 31/07/2008 23:03

Lol hughjarssss - good for you, unfortunately you have bought at the top of a very big bubble so even if you can keep up the repayments I will be paying a lot less than you by buying at the bottom of the curve. Even if the house prices do recover in the long term you will have paid a lot more interest than me, so you have been done to say the least.
As for buy to let landlords passing on the mortgage increases i had to laugh.
LL : my mortgage payments have gone up so your rent is going up.
Tenannt: Any provision in the agreement allowing for increase must be fair, within the meaning of the Unfair Terms in Consumer Contracts Regulations. A provision that allows the landlord to increase the rent at any time, for any reason, and to any amount they think fit, will probably be held to be unfair and thus void.
The rent cannot be raised more than once for the same tenant in one year, and a minimum of one month's notice must be given. Tenants have the right to challenge a rent increase if they think it is unfair by referring the rent to a Rent Assessment Committee. The committee will prevent the landlord from raising the rent above the ordinary market rent for that type of property.
So no I will no line your pocket.

petetong · 31/07/2008 23:18

I suppose that people wonder why you didn't get on the market while it was cheap. 20 years ago you could have bought a property for next to nothing compared to todays prices.

KatieDD · 31/07/2008 23:41

Pete it's relative though isn't it ?
20 years ago you couldn't borrow more than 3 times your income no matter what and you needed between 5-10% deposit.
Our first house was £11k but my dad earnt £4k so it was fine, these days my H earns more than most but a house would cost 4 times his salary so we'll wait until it doesn't.

Flibbertyjibbet · 01/08/2008 00:00

I suspect op might be a troll.

But just in case she isn't:

Dp and I have two children but are not married. Nothing to do with can't afford it, we would just sneak off to the registry office.
But we each own a house outright - bought before prices went up and before we met. Both were about 2.5 times our salary.

So, if the op and I got together, who would be looking down on who? I have rented in the past, and now own my home but don't remember ever being asked what my house status was.

Maybe one of MY reasons for not marrying is that if we marry before we sell one of our houses, we would have to think about capital gains tax? Look down on me now you idiot.

Or maybe you're just bitter that your parents didn't get you on the housing ladder?

expatinscotland · 01/08/2008 00:07

also remember that a renter doesn't necessarily have to pay market rent to a buy to letter.

he/she can allow the landlord to serve them with notice to quit if he/she cannot afford the rent increase. they are then homeless and the council will have to house them.

hughjarssss · 01/08/2008 00:34

Katie: I thik what you have posted actually proves my point. Landlords can and do increase rents, tennants have to fight the increase if they find it unfair, or move out. In which case the landlord will just find tennants who will pay the rent. That is why rents are higher in my area than they have ever been.
And I may have brought when prices were high but I just checked and to rent my house would cost £100 a month more than my repayment mortgage. So if I rented my house I would be paying more and have nothing to show for it, it would be dead money.
And all that time your waiting for the crash, the years left on my mortgage are reducing.

Expat - Good luck getting a council flat/house in my area. I have friends with children who have are stuck in temporary accomodation. The council have advised my friends who are single parents who want counil houses/flats to find a private landlord who will take DSS and to claim HB. Any childess couples don't stand a chance of even getting on the housing lists.
My childless single friend who had to go the council because he was unexpectadly made homeless was told to go to the local hostel.

cbmummy · 01/08/2008 07:31

I rent and have done for 7 years for the exact same reason. I am a SAHM and we cannot get the multiples on mortgages with just one income. So what! Why on earth do you feel you have to explain anyway? It is noone elses business where your money goes.

Bumperlicious · 01/08/2008 07:54

For people who can't understand why some people cannot afford to rent rather than buy, we live in a lovely flat in a pretty expensive area. We can afford to pay the rent but now way could we get a £200+k mortgage, we don't earn enough and we don't have enough money for a deposit. Obviously the rent we pay covers the landlords mortgage but maybe he bought at a good time, or had a large deposit? Whatever, we could not possibly get a mortgage for a place as nice as we rent. It may be dead money but a) we have no choice, and b) I would much rather pay rent to live in our beautiful flat in a lovely area with no maintenance costs than pay an equal amount of money to own a tiny house on a crappy estate worrying in case the boiler broke, or the house flooded or something.

I too always have to justify why I rent, mostly to family. They seem to have a really warped view of our financial situation. Also mum mum rents too. Obviously that means no inheritance for me, but it also means that there is nothing for the government to take when she gets old and has to be looked after or when she dies.

bubblagirl · 01/08/2008 08:04

i think people that have been fortunate enough to buy will never understand why people still rent

they see if you can pay rent then why not morgage without realsing you may not even qualify to get a morgage let alone be able to afford it

many people have had great jobs or no children and scrimped and saved because they could

but never be ashamed because you have not got what someone else has you have a roof over your head your happy

we rent and have got used to the oh you dont have your own house comment but choose to not take it personally as we are unable to do so and theres nothing we can do about that yet

and to make it in life you need to struggle and not have people bail you out it makes you respect what you have alot more as you have done it all yourself rather than knowing someone else has done that for you

katebee · 01/08/2008 08:25

I can understand why people rent for the short term- I had to until I was married to buy as I could never have afforded to buy a flat in London on my salary. I am lucky that my DH already owned a flat purchased in 92 when prices were much cheaper.

However surely in the long term it is desirable to buy a house with the aim of paying the mortgage off by retirement. My parents are living on not much more than the state pension but are still living in their four bedroom house as they paid the mortgage off while they were still working and the pension just about covers the council tax and bills. They would not be able to afford to rent or pay a mortgage with their pension income.

Therefore if you don't plan to buy a house or flat how will you afford to live when you retire?

I hope house prices will come down enough for more people to buy flats or houses. I think the recent buy to let trend has been a bad thing as it has pushed prices up..I don't see that anyone needs to own more than 2 properties..surely there should be more tax for owning a string of rental properties...

GrapefruitMoon · 01/08/2008 08:26

Around where I live I know quite a few families who rent for various reasons - not to do with affordability exactly. It is a bit of an "English" thing to be obsessed with buying imo. In other countries renting is more the norm than buying. The main thing that would put me off renting is if we had to keep moving if the lease ran out....

I was being nosy researching some family members recently and came across a family who live with their 3 children in a hotel in NY! Now that I find hard to fathom....

ilovemydog · 01/08/2008 08:30

The OP was having a laugh, but it does have a ring of truth in it...

My uncle has a rent controlled flat in San Francisco. He was in a long term relationship with another who had a rent controlled flat in New York.

They split up as neither wanted to give up their rent controlled flats.

I promise you it's true!

bubblagirl · 01/08/2008 08:35

oh i have been on so many untrue threads recently beginning to not know which ones are or arent now lol

Oblomov · 01/08/2008 08:40

Rental prices round us are more expensive than mortgages.

LaVieEnRose · 01/08/2008 08:57

bubblagirl - just because I own my own home does not mean I haven't struggled to do this, and no one has bailed me or my husband out ever. We just know that it makes more financial sense to own rather than rent. We don't want to sell at the mo so the housing market is not a problem for us.

I personally would not like to still be renting now we have a son. It's too risky. The landlord could suddenly decide to sell up and we'd be out on the street.

And as Katebee asked, how will you afford to live when you retire? I assume (correct me if i'm wrong) that you don't have any investments you pay into that will provide an income when you retire to pay your rent as if you had spare cash you would (I hope!) use it as a deposit for a house.

Dilberta · 01/08/2008 09:11

what a weird OP. We've rented and owned at various times. My mother has rented all her life, still does. She's in a council bungalow. My brother moves about and is currently renting in Australia, my sister in the States.
No-one has ever asked or boggled to be honest.
Mind you, the last landlord we had refused to do anything about the mould growing up the kitchen wall cos of the damp and that house wasn't insulated. Thank god we left as with the gas prices for next winter we'd of been stuffed.
Rents round here are about £800 for a family (3-4 beds) house. No idea what a mortgage would be - those houses are worth about 250K. What would a mortgage cost on 250K even if some bank would give youa mortgage that large?

Dilberta · 01/08/2008 09:13

Katebee - when you retire you try and geta council bungalow or rent froma housing association. I imagine thats what we will do.

OrmIrian · 01/08/2008 09:16

I sometimes wish we rented. So much easier if we wanted to move. As it is we can't afford to so we're stuck in his place that is too small for us. Yes I know that we will have something to show for it in the end but having a roof over our heads is what matters.

We have friends that rent. It wouldn't occur to me to wonder why.