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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think XH1 is a git for not giving our DD1 (20) a b-day present?

19 replies

ConstanceWearing · 31/07/2008 12:36

Yesterday was DD1's birthday. She was 20. My DP spent the week mowing and raking the lawn, tidying the garden, etc so she could have a barbeque with her friends. He bought the food, the barbeque itself, and the drinks.

XH2 (who was her step-dad for 14 years) gave her £50 in her card.

XH1 (her dad) called and said she didn't need his money anymore, so he wasn't sending her any. He has never, ever sent a card, but often comes down on birthdays and Christmas to give them a present or cash, until he got remarried and had 3 more children.

I called him and said I thought his behaviour was 'bloody unbelievable'. If he had told her he was broke, she would have understood it, but he has basically said she is entitled to nothing from him anymore. And he's never paid a bloody penny maintenance for her, all her life.

What do you think?

OP posts:
ByTheSea · 31/07/2008 12:37

I think he's a twat.

fransmom · 31/07/2008 12:38

i think his behaviour is absolutely disgusting but sadly all too common. my father has also done something similar and we haven't seen him for five years plus since he remarried. it is hard but it is his loss, not your daughter's. ((((((((((((((((((cw and miss cw))))))))))))))))))))

scorpio1 · 31/07/2008 12:40

i think he is a knob.

Im 23, married with 3dc and my dad gave me £20 the other day for 'girl stuff'. the point im trying to make is that as a parent you sign up to provide and especially to acknowledge your dc on their bdays!

katiepotatie · 31/07/2008 12:44

What a twat , she has a lovely step parents by the sounds of it, hope she has a lovely day

ThatBigGermanPrison · 31/07/2008 12:46

God, I'm 28 and my dad gave me a holiday to the East coast for my birthday, because I am both poor and a spoilt bitch!

ConstanceWearing · 31/07/2008 12:47

Thank you girls.

I've got another 5 children (she's the eldest of 6 , we all live together). So his extra children don't impress me much.

The whole family are going to be on beans for the week because I spent most of my money on her birthday. I was just so sad to see her face. Like she didn't count at all, now he has other children.

Kind of reminded me why I divorced the hard-faced bastard though

OP posts:
ThatBigGermanPrison · 31/07/2008 12:47

he's a prize nobsmear. Glad she has better family than him!

2shoes · 31/07/2008 12:47

what a shit.
Hope your dd had a lovely day.
(I am very old and my ds still gives me money on my birthday)

edam · 31/07/2008 12:49

Oh, he deserves a whole flock of birds to develop severe diarrhoea just as they fly over his head. Every time he goes out of the house. Bloody man. Obviously your dp and her ex-stepdad are better parents than her biological father...

Hope dd1 had a fab birthday anyway.

TotalChaos · 31/07/2008 12:52

You are being completely reasonable. He is a louse. I mean he could have just given her a card and box of choccies couldn't he rather than behaving like this.

TheCrackFox · 31/07/2008 12:54

He is a bell-end.

mumeeee · 31/07/2008 12:54

YANBU he is. She is his daughter and he should give her something. Hope she has a good day.

ConstanceWearing · 31/07/2008 13:16

She did have a great day. Thank you ladies.

OP posts:
unaccomplishedfattylegalmummy · 31/07/2008 13:58

Jaysus what an absolute cunt. I'm 30 and both my mum and dad frequently give me money for various things.

ConstanceWearing · 31/07/2008 14:01

What a strange and interesting name, UFLM

Couldn't agree more, but I couldn't tell him so, because my mum was in the room lol.

OP posts:
jesuswhatnext · 31/07/2008 14:47

ohh i'v got one of those, never paid a fucking penny, only sends cards, never calls etc - fucking twat , don't worry, your dd, like mine, has other, better men in her life. the only people to miss out are the feckless bastards who will only realise waht they have lost when they die old, sad and lonely, having reaped what they have sown (i really mean that big as well!!!!)

GrapefruitMoon · 31/07/2008 14:50

I'm in my 40s and my parents still give birthday presents (sometimes I wish they wouldn't... ). But some people are just not into it - my PILs have never once given me a birthday card, even for "special" birthdays. Tbh, as long as they remember the dcs birthday, I don't really care any more...

TheHedgeWitch · 31/07/2008 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Twinkie1 · 31/07/2008 15:44

Bloody hell I would be on the phone to the CSA immediately - what a complete tosser!

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