AIBU to think its wrong for a group of 14 year old boys and girls to be camping out unsupervised.

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Ok so its not my problem, thank god but DD has said that some of her class mates are camping out on the hills at 14. I'm glad she didnt ask as I wouldn't let her do this. IABU

"for most people the world doesnt stop and fall apart if they havbe sex"

completely agree. All my friends lost their virginity at different times and the ones who waited longest didn't necessarily have the best time - in fact sometimes they were so desperate by the time it got to the deed that they just got it over and done with with the first bloke they met at university in a fairly brutal way, whereas the people who had sex younger took it more seriously and were more "in love", whether or not that worked out as "forever love" it was still a healthier context for a first sexual experience.

What parents sometimes seem to want to overlook is that they are going to do it eventually. You can only postpone the inevitable, which may not necessarily be for the best.

It depends on what the children are like imo.

DS1 also 14 has a fantastic bunch of friends...boys and girls and that is exactly just what they are, friends. DS has a girlfriend, but I know darned well it hasn't got to that stage and won't for a long time. They are all just too sensible. I know I may be being a little naive here but I do know my son.

He has been to a boy/girl sleepover (in massive country house . The parents were there, but on a discreet level. He shared a bedroom with 3 of his male friends and I think most, if not all of the children did the same ie girls with girls and boys with boys.

At this age you do need to trust them a bit. If you are worried about hormones taking over then have a chat with your daughter. They will 'do it' one day and there won't be much you can do about that, but if they know all about unwanted pregnancy/STD's/contraception, then they are much less likely to get into trouble. They could do it anywhere!

Having said all of that, I would encourage DS to camp very near to home (ie the field next door )

My sensible mum head says he would be absolutely fine...knowing his fab friends and how sensible and level headed he is, but my worry wart mum head would stay up all night ...worrying

Actually if as you say there will be 17 year old there, then I would probably say no...but then again it would depend on why they were there, maybe it is to keep an eye on things. And it would depend on how well I knew them. Quite a few of DS's friends have older brothers or sisters and going on how their families are, I probably wouldn't owrry so much.

Feel free to slate me, but my DS (13) and four others (13 and 14) did this in May. They planned a route and a menu, bought all the stuff then cycled 13 miles into the hills with their gas canisters and their axe (yes, truly!) and survived for two nights in the hills outside Glasgow. They did it for a scout badge.

I thought long and hard about letting him go, and my heart was in my mouth the whole time he was away - he did take his mobile, so I knew they'd arrived - but it did him the world of good. He earned the right to go by showing me that he was mature and sensible and since he came back, he seems much mroe grown up. He realises it was a really big thing being allowed to go, and he also realises that I trusted him not to do anything stupid, and he's repaid my trust by behaving responsibly.

I still can't quite believe I let him do it...

Granny, that story made me laugh out loud, I
spluttered wine all over the keyboard too!

I did this as a 14 yr old with some mates on the North Downs. All of us were Scouts and knew what we were doing on the camping side. We didn't really know what we were doing on the drinking-vodka-we-had-swiped-from-our-parents side and it did get somewhat silly. The worst that happened was they washed my hair in instant mashed potato. I woke up with very spiky, very crunchy hair. No one got hurt. (Sadly) no girls were involved.

In fact, we often camped out unsupervised, but then we had been camping together since the Cubs.

gosh when i think what i had free reign to do at that age. guide camps, d of e camps, air cadet camps. walking or canoeing off for days, rarely seeing a teacher/leader.

those really were the days. my d of e group was made up of me, my best friend and 4 lads. we went all over scotland, wales and eventually france between the age of 14 to 16. bloody marvellous. no shagging, lots of magic mushrooms though

then of course there were the night expeditions with air cadets..

when I was 15 we went on a "Youth Club" canal holiday. there were adults there who weren't fit to supervise themselves. there was massive amounts of underage drinking. the girls' boat/boys' boat thing collapsed beyond recognition on day 1 and my friend got off with one of the youth workers . not entirely sure what my point is, just that we survived, and I'm sure this lot will.

I think that it is very funny that people who had rather wild teenage years are saying there is no way they will let their DCs have the opportunity!
Is this because you regret it or because you don't think your DC is mature enough to handle it? If you don't regret it and think it was an important part of growing up why are you stopping your DC? It is a serious question-I just wondered why you have that reaction?
I wasn't very wild as a teenager, I was too shy.(I would have liked to have been!)
I let my DS go camping in Cornwall with his friends after his GCSEs.I think it did him good. They had to get the coach down carrying all the camping gear.I think it was better to let him go than worry about alcohol, danger with surfing, sunburn etc and stop him.
It is a good way to start letting them have some independence-after all the 14 yr old might put on a rucksack and set off on world travel in 4 years time!

I think it's fine. They're are a bunch of them together and I am sure they can look after themselves.
What's the worst that could happen?
I would let my son go.

There are a group of them, of course

PSML at this one.

I was friends with more boys than girls at this age and my mum refused point blank to let me go camping with 8 boys, but I did it anyway. LOL yep was 14, pissed and nothing else you need to know aboyut as was with my BF. HAHA. Oh dear sounds terrible but hey.

Granny, ROFL at that story!

If I knew and (mostly) liked all the children going, and we are 'sleepover central' so that's quite likely, then I'd hope I'd let them go. Particularly if they were camping veterans, stayed local in a safe area and if they had mobiles to phone home if necessary. I did this sort of thing during my early & mid-teens and didn't have sex or take drugs until I was much older! It was the kids with the strictest parents who were the most irresponsible.

Independence is vital to teenagers, they're always worse when over-parented. At least that was true amongst my friends and with my ex-step-sons.

I think you are right Old Gregg. My DS is all talk, when it comes down to it he is quite sensible.
When he originally planned the Cornish trip a mixed group of 20 were going which I wasn't too happy about, however it got down to a group of 4 boys and I liked the boy who was going all the organising. He tried to put spin onto it as to why the other 16 dropped out,because he always tells us we are stricter than anyone else, but it boiled down to them not being allowed to go.He hasn't been able to use the 'everyone else does it' since!

i think camping our with other venture scouts is very different from a random group of 14 year olds camping out on their own
ds aged 11 is currently out camping. no way would i be happy for him to be doing this on his own, without supervision , in three years time.

I think its a fantastic idea.

Assuming you want to be a grandmother.

I'd let my kids go, if half-way sensible. Frankly I'd consider them pretty poor specimens if they couldn't manage a night unsupervised at 14.

I do think if you give them the trust, most 14 year olds will appreciate it and respect the fact that you have trusted them. DS1 isn't wild at all. We allow him to go to parties/gigs etc, but always collect him (as do all of the other parents) and always know where he is. He has a mobile in case of emergencies (more than we had!) and a great group of friends who wold look out for each other.

I know at this age hormones are raging and tbh at the start I was in denial...my little boy wasn't growing up and he certainly wouldn't think about stuff like that! But I have accpeted that it is a normal part of growing up and becoming an adult. He knows it is illegal to have sex before 16 and he knows all of the risks involved...not that I think it would even enter his head to do something quite so intimate yet!

Having a girlfriend/boyfriend for them is more so they can say they have one. It's not serious at all. His first girlfriend was a very good friend at first and so being girlfriend/boyfriend didn't actually work out. they were sensible enough to decide that they would rather carry on just being good friends.

I think you just really need to keep communicating with teenagers. DS1 has a great relationship with both me and DH. We still have to do the mum/dad stuff of reminding him to do this that and the other, but on the whole it's great.

Saying that, I know the 2 little ones are going to test us as teenagers ....when we are too old to cope with it

I used to do this when I was about 15.

I never did anything inappropriate with boys when we did it though, and I got pissed just as often when I was sat at a park and going home that night.

I'd let my DC's do it.

oh fgs of course they'll be shagging

Why MamaG? They aren't all the same you know!

Ah says MamaG who doesn't have a teenager yet

...but who WAS a teenager, once

I think teenagers get such a bad press all of the time. Yes some of them can be awful, but all of the teenagers I know (and I know a few) are lovely children. Polite, respectful, great fun, and generally just really nice children.