To think this is weird?

[Roskva]

Dh's family live in California. He speaks to them regularly on skype and dd does almost daily webcam appearances. Which I don't mind. What bugs me is when dh puts the webcam on, usually when dd and I are having tea, then sods off to his office as he prefers to eat later. Our broadband connection is rubbish, so if you get webcam picture you don't always get sound, so I can't exactly sit there and have a conversation. So there sit dd and I having tea, with dd being watched via webcam. It's creepy. Dh thinks I'm unreasonable to expect him to be around when his family are at the other end of the webcam if can't talk to them at the same time, because they can still see dd.

YANBU - We had that problem with Skype. I don't like eating in front of people who aren't eating and certainly it would feel really weird if the outlaws were watching me.

Can't you do it at a different time -not the time your Dh dictates?

Put dh in front of webcam with some toys and go and have a cup of tea...

I meant dd (or did I)

the weirdest part of all of that is that your dh doesnt want to eat with his wife and daughter

id be putting my foot down about that

how RUDE

YANBU

How weird. Why does he insist at putting the webcam on at this time?
Surely it would be better to do it say, after dinner then dd can wave, do a little dance or whatever or they can just watch her playing.

Do you even know that they are actually watching you sitting eat your dinner (in silence)?
And why would he put the webcam on you and not on himself? They're his parents, I'd assume they'd want a glimpse of their son too.

If he really wants to put the webcam on at that time for whatever reason, make him stay and eat with you.

I'd say - Oh dear, wasn't it working? The connection must have been loose...

Oh and tell him, fine if he doesn't want to be around when webcam is on as long as they can see dd, why the hell should you be?
If he doesn't listen to you, switch it off!!!! And turn it on at a time when suits you.

He never unplugs the webcam, so I let dd play with it if she wants, and I won't be too cross if it accidentally gets trashed

When she eating is about the only time dd sits still, so if she's playing/dancing/'helping' me around the kitchen, he has to sit there and hold the webcam. Dd's tea time equates to just after breakfast in California, which is apparently a good time for the ILs to sit in front of the computer (they're retired). Oh well, if they lived just down the road, I would probably have them sitting in my kitchen every meal time...

lol at the idea of dh in front of the webcam with some toys

I would delete the webcam software from my computer, but I do use it occasionally with my family. Maybe Skype is developing that annoying bug that causes it to crash my computer again ... (that has happened before now). Yes, it is my computer. Dh's has such a stupidly complicated security set up that he can only download software if he gets is computer nerd friend to help .

If he sods off to his office, webcam goes off. Simple. If he wants his parents to see dd, he can bloody well interact with them.

You are right, it is very creepy. He's being bloody selfish in that 'I'm married now so the little woman can take on the responsibility of communicating with the rellies' way that so many men are (if ds grows up and expects any future wife to buy my birthday cards there will be trouble).

Sorry but you are right, what an odd situation! I would HATE to think someone may or may not be watching me eat my dinner. Put your foot down, it's just creepy and weird and wrong.

Obviously, if you and dd were fine with it, then that would be different.

I'm not OK with it. Dd doesn't really say anything intelligible yet, so I don't know what she thinks . Her attempts to grab the webcam could either be general curiosity or trying to say 'point that wretched thing somewhere else'!