My mother has decided she'll come and stay next week, Sunday to Saturday

[clumsymum]

and frankly it isn't convenient for us because
a) I'm working for some days next week, so can't spend the time with her
b)I'm a bit scared she'll offend my new mother's help while I'm at work, and I need this lovely girl to stay with me thru the summer
c)DS goes to cub camp next Friday, and dh and I fancy 2 full daysand nights to ourselves, rather than having mother here for Friday night, and having to turn out to put her on the train on Saturday
d) she's really high maintenance.

I said on the phone I'd think about it, but next week isn't the most convenient, and I could HEAR the pursed lips down the phone.

I've suggested week of the 10 Aug, but she needs to see her dressmaker that week apparently (dressmaker on hols next week, Mother needs clothes for her cruise in Sept).

She's had a standing invite since Christmas. Surely I'm allowed to put her off ??

One problem is she is determined that she'll only come for a full week, and after 4 days, I've had enough TBH.

But the effort of making the 2 hour train journey is too much for less than a week.

Just tell her that you would love to see her but not that week.

Fio, do you ever say NO?

Just say no. You know its the only thing to do, and so what if she purses her lips ? No excuses, just 'no, that week isn't convenient. We'd love to see you on the ....'

just say no, but have another week lined up to suggest to her

she will only be annoyed with you for a short while

Just say you cant do that week. Dont say its inconvenient but you could do it. Just that you cant.
She'll have to think of another week!

If necessary invent something that week that makes it impossible.

tell her the whole family has scabies and the treatment is a week long

Oh the stories I could tell about families and visits! I totally sympathise! And while you are totally within your rights to say no, that isn't convenient, is there any way a compromise could be reached? Could she come on Friday or Saturday instead of sunday and then leave on Friday? That way -

-she still gets to come for a week (I know it feels like too long but you might have to grit your teeth on that one)
-you get a few days with her where you're not working
-on Friday you get rid of DS and DM at the same time and have 2 peaceful days to recover.

???

Prob with that NP is that we're going to my sisters for this weekend, and DS is really looking forward to it.

Mother planned to travel back with us so she only has to use the train one way (trains full of common people you see)

I should stick to the plan but get her to go back early by telling her that you and DH are going away while DS at cub camp and that you will have to put her on the train on Thursday.

Won't work Abbey. DH and I both at work Thursday, so can't get to the station, and no, she won't use a taxi, she has to be escorted to the train by a dear one. My Bil will have to get her to - from the station at her end.
She is VERY high maintenance

Oh, and she knows we won't go away while ds at camp, cos he had to be brought back early last time (long story)

I'm going to gird my loins with a coffee, and ring her to suggest she comes 6th- 11th August, even tho' that means we have to have her over a weekend.

I mean, she has no calls on her time at all (except this dressmaker thing).

Good luck clumsymum! Stick to your dates!

Hmm, well she'll think about it.

Apparently she doesn't think being here over a weekend is good, because she thinks my dh gets a bit irritated with her .....!