to send 12 yr old ds up to bedroom by 8:30pm ?

[cheeryface]

during the holidays??

Yes.

Yes - 10pm more like it here!

yes, if you expect him to go to sleep.

no, if you just want a bit of peace and quiet downstairs, whilst he watches a movie or whatever.

yes, very

I think when I was 12 I was going up at about 9pm

they're ok to have around in teh evening at that age, aren't they? Don't mind having mine around. They' d feel very babyish if I sent them up at 8.30

he can do whatever up in his room although he doesn't have a tv or computer in there

after having the ds's all day i feel i need some adult time

think i am just a bit rubbish really

is he able to go and play round about with friends? Mine come in at 8.30 or 9 so I suppose they're not buzzing around me

there isn't anyone his age round ere, he's never really been one to play out

my ds is 12, almost 13, and went to bed half an hour go (we are 1 hour ahead so at about 10.30 ish) but is still reading in his room. This is normal during the holidays for us.

It is too early. I can see why you want to do it-I loved my quiet evenings but you have to give them up.

It's his house too!

8:30 is rather early -- more like 10pm for my 12yo. could you make him feel more adult by letting him stay up but making it clear that this is adult time, for adult behaviour?

Ds is eldest of 3, was playing with a friend from about 1.30 til 6, then kids and I went to another friend's for a chat and (for me!) a drink so didn't get home til 8ish. Dinner at about 9 then some tv and bed. This is just during the holidays obviously

I send my ten year olds up at 9.00 - 9.30ish, or i'd go mad with no time for just DH and I...but that's because we can't go to our room as there is a child asleep in there. 8.30 would be a wee bit too early for me - like Mutt says, you'll see little enough of him soon as it is! But having said that...is this every night or is it just occaisionally when you want to watch a film on your own or something, cause i can definately relate to that!

YABU!

I'm finding, now that dd1 is almost 12, that I have to forget about evenings being for adults. She's getting older, she's staying up later.

Soon it will be really hard for dh and me to have sex.

huzzah!

I expect 9 during school time, and holidays, well its flexible, if I need peace then 9, if he wants to stay up later maybe 9.30 10, but absolutley no later, not at mine anyway, (my ds is 12)

on a school night, he goes up at 8pm and turns light out at 9pm. it takes him a while getting his bag ready for the next day etc and he might read a bit. he has to be up at 6:45am.

at weekends his younger brother goes up at 8pm and goes straight to sleep as he is knackered by then (9 yr old) and ds1 goes up at 8:30 but leaves light on , reads or whatever till he pleases really.

ds1 is a bit of a lazybones in the hols really. if i left him to it he would go on the pc or watch tv all day long. so, at night when i am ready for watching tv, i feel he has watched enough!

lol pointydog, what have i been thinking! could be the answer to my problems!

Would you find it depressing to be in your room, alone, no tv, no computer, from 8.30 every evening when it doesn't even get dark for ages? So would he!

If you really need a break, banish yourself to your bedroom to read a book or something

feel like an awful mother now
why do i ask these things!