to send 12 yr old ds up to bedroom by 8:30pm ?

[cheeryface]

during the holidays??

sounds like he needs to be out doing more with boys his age

all the boys around here hang around the streets drinking with their hoods up.

he doesn't mix very well anyway tbh

i struggle to find things to do with him during the day. he hates swimming or anything remotely exercise like. he won't play games anymore etc

took them both to a museum today, that killed 3-4 hours but theres still another 42 days left to fill!

what on earth else could he be doing. there is a boy from school similar to him but other than the cinema i'm not sure where to suggest they go!

I do sympathise, its really hard

maybe someone will have some suggestions....

Are there no activities laid on by the Schools etc in the holidays where you are? There are quite a few activities (including film-making, sports, clay-pigeon shooting, etc) sent to us from School in a booklet. Don't know if this is just our area though.

don't think is unreasonable at all. me and my brothers had to do the same with no tv or computer so mum and dad had time to relax. do the same with my 2 now

Is he unhappy about being sent upstairs though, cheeryface?
If you're all happy with the arrangement, then that's fine.

well he'd prefer to stay up all night with us i think! normally doesn't complain, probably because thats how it's always been.
just tonight though he moaned about it

try a lounge ban after a certain time with freedom of rest of house for half hour or so before going upstairs. one day he will be a parent and understand!

My parents used to have a bizarre (well, i thought it was at the time, but now i see why they did it) evening routine. They used to go into another room at 7.30, watch their choice of tv prog for an hour or so, then read something for a while, then at 10.30 precisely come back into the room where i and my siblings were quietly watching telly/doing homework etc, and bumble around the room saying 'what's all this?' (my homework usually), and pushing it all to the edge of the table, and generally being annoying so we missed the end of the tv we were watching.

So, YANBU. You could be much, much, soooo much worse.

I don't think it's that bad! we were in bed until 9pm all the way up the GCSE, if we didn;t feel sleepy we read, it instiled a lifelong love of reading. fgs why is it so crap to be on your own without xbox, TV etc these days?

cant you find something for you or him to do during the hols e.g paint a room, do some gardening, sort his room out, play in the garden, visit relatives, do some cooking together, go to seaside, for a walk, bike riding, or get him to earn some extra cash buy washing car/windows/house work etc? Get him a pet? is there any clubs he could join?Just a few suggestions?
No ur not a bad parent for sending him up to his room at 8.30pm, if its every holiday night then maybe its a bit unreasonable! Its nice for him to go up at "normal" time once in a while so he doesnt get too out of his routine! Maybe let him have a tv in his room?

my dd is 12 and on a school night goes up at 8.30 and reads a book or writes on the pc for a while (one of these strange dcs who love to write.) Usually lights off at about 9.15.
On weekends and in the hols it's a bit more relaxed but usually lights out by 9.30/45.
SHe has no tv or dvd player in her room (really not that interested in tv anyway)

Would not send her up at 8.30 and expect her to sleep!

actually maybe i'll be the one to go to bed and read at 8:30pm every night!
i'm fed up big time with dh anyway!

just do what is right for you, now listening to poor flute rendition of match of the day. so much for entertaining themselves after 8. 30. thankfully is much more advanced with the violin!!!

lol smartiejake....erm, i would hazard a guess that your dc gets that particular habit from you - you are, er, writing at the moment!

Anyway, i was one of those dcs so shut it!

come on, cheery - cheery up.

Can't you just change your m indset a bit an dlet him stay up till 9 or 9.30?

Is there anything you both enjoy? Board games - scrabble or cluedo?

We are fascist parents (spending a lot of time teaching over tired children ...)

YANBU

We send 12 yo dc up to bed at 8pm and expect her to be resting/asleep/in bed by 8.30pm. No TV, video or computer in room, occasionally dc has a sneaky read, but we try to encourage reading before bedtime. If dc doesn't get this much sleep dc doesn't focus well and looks awful/exhausted.

Bit more relaxed in the hols especially when abroad, but pull in the bedtimes 5 days before school starts and don't usually stretch out the bedtimes beyond 10ish.

DC only got bedtime stretched to this hour (8.30) when she went to secondary school, before that it was lights out at 8pm when she was 10+ and even earlier before that.

It's a personal choice as a parent. This works for us as a family and dc as a child. DC does complain (but my friends blah, blah, blah) but at the end of the day that's their parents' choice.

Do what works for you whatever that may be (everyone)

It must be hporrible having parents who are teachers

So how much sleep is enough sleep (i would love to know how much DTD1 and 2 need, at 10yo)? Isn't what time you send them to bed always relative to what time they have to get up in the morning?

DD1 is 12 and on school nights goes up between 9 and 9.30.

weekends and holidays she can stay up until we go up if she likes

more often than not though, she disappears upstairs into her room.....to get away from us probably

I imagine in a few years it'll be nigh on impossible

to get her to spend some quality time with us though

so I'll make the most of it now

new to this and other half said to ask- what does the 'd' stand for? devil or darling (or other) he says one i think the other

Pointydog - yes absolutely! Although I remember cringing with embarrassment about my parents at that age even though they weren't teachers - and I'm plenty embarrassing enough even without the job title

Even worse for her teachers though!

Holidays are great, lots of time for all to sleep then and spend time.

Sleep is always relative to the person - I can survive on 5-6 hours, DH is awful with less than 7 or 8 and can't function on much less than that.

IMHO kids vary too. That's why what works for one child might be too much or too little for another.

Parental choice. although it is lovely when children don't come to school tired - we all know what tired children can be like...

YABU my 5 year old goes to bed at 8.30. 10.30 is more like it for a 12 year old, surely?