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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want my child to attend school?

25 replies

plus3 · 17/07/2008 22:14

now I am willing to admit that I am being a little hissy but... sent DS to (nursery - precusor to reception ) school this afternoon with a cut to his cheek that had been patched (quite wonderfully) last night in A&E. I was concerned that he was horribly tired as we didn't arrive home until 22.30, but he was adament that it wasn't sore and was desperate to go to school. Off we went, explained all to the lovely TA who opened the door, stating that all was fine but could they just watch that he didn't itch at it. She was fine about it, but 10mins later I was called back to school saying it wasn't approriate to expect them to watch him.

AIBU?? Should I not have sent him??? He looked so forlorn when I arrived to collect him.

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Doodle2U · 17/07/2008 22:15

Bit harsh - they would have been fine at our pre-school.

OurHamsterisevil · 17/07/2008 22:15

YANBU. My DS only stays off nursery if he is really sick. He loves going. I don't understand what their problem is

pinkspottywellies · 17/07/2008 22:16

I don't have school age children so I don't know but I would have thought as long as it's not a ,weeping wound and he's quite happy in himself that they ABU.

meemar · 17/07/2008 22:21

Oh fgs, it was a dressed cut and a simple request to make sure he didn't itch it. They could have said to you 'we can't guarentee he won't itch it', but there was no need to send him home.

LOL at "it wasn't approriate to expect them to watch him." I'd be very concerned at a school that didn't watch the children

HonoriaGlossop · 17/07/2008 22:23

I wouldn't have sent him but only because with a late night and a new injury I would have wanted him to have a duvet day at home; but that's just a different approach, not saying better than yours, just different

I would have thought a child with a plastered cut would be absolutely fine for school. Maybe it was only what you said about watching that he didn't scratch it that put them off; They can't pay one to one attention and if he HAD scratched it they may have thought you'd blast them for it?

Original poster
plus3 · 17/07/2008 22:23

thank you - the wound is not open but is uncovered, it was filled with 'glue' (which I was very impressed with!)

Have to phone tomorrow to see if he is allowed back, I suspected if I say that all is fine and that there is no chance of the wound reopening they will also be fine, but equally I can't guarentee that. It SHOULD be fine. Don't want to aggreviate them by being bolschy but also agree with the idea that there should be something SERIOUSLY wrong to merit a day off school..

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Original poster
plus3 · 17/07/2008 22:27

HG - agree was very tempted to keep him home, but the session is an afternoon one, and by lunchtime he was itching to go ( no pun intended Also I tried to ask if it was me asking them to keep an eye on his itching, and that if I hadn't said that would it have been an issue, but they wouldn't answer - it was a telephone conversation with the school sec, so suspect she was just doing her job.

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CaptainUnderpants · 17/07/2008 22:27

Ask what their exclsuion policy is when it comes dwn to illness and injuries .

If it is glued all they have to do is make sure that it doesn't get wet. YANBU to request that they just keep an eye on him .

Original poster
plus3 · 17/07/2008 22:30

I have to phone tomorrow to see if he is allowed in, again he is so keen to go as it is the teddie bears picnic!

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whatdayisit · 17/07/2008 22:32

I think if you hadn't mentioned the itching they'd have let him stay, but not really fair to ask them make sure 1 of 30? doesn't scratch an itch.

Original poster
plus3 · 17/07/2008 22:34

1 of 16, with several already on holiday, but take the point.

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HonoriaGlossop · 17/07/2008 22:42

i think it might well have been the scratching thing to be honest.

It's easy to think all parents are reasonable people like yourself but there are some who really would have dropped the child at the school, no explanations given, then blasted every member of staff for DARING to let their precious child touch that cut, they were supposed to have CARE of him, they take your precious child and say they'll care for them then they just NEGLECT them, where the hell were the staff, can you see this cut he must have been scratching it for HOURS so how could the staff have missed THAT

clearly this isn't you, but maybe they've had this from others..........

Original poster
plus3 · 17/07/2008 22:53

aagghhh [kicking myself emoticon] just has dawned on me that maybe the teacher thinks that this is evidence of DS's need for attention, and my obvious lack of it towards him...panicking slightly now..we had a parents evening, where I was told told that DS is a bright,intelligent boy who is desparate for attention and his (admittibly) naughty behaviour is at the root of that. I said that he was also alittle one who doesn't do change briliantly, but felt that he deffiantly isn't straved of attention at home.

Sorry for veering off course..now am I being insane?/paranoid?

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Original poster
plus3 · 17/07/2008 22:54

sorry for the spelling mistakes, really should go to bed and fret

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ReallyTired · 17/07/2008 22:57

It sounds like as if your child had a nasty injury that is beyond the average small boy scratch. Otherwise you would not have bothered to taken him to A and E.

A few weeks ago my son had a nasty fall in the playground. He and another classmate ran into each other and my son went flying into a wall. The school insisted that I take my son to A and E for a check up as he was dizzy and feeling sick.

By the time my son was seen by the doctor, he had perked up and was full of beans. Even so the doctor made it clear that my son should stay off school for 24 hours. Apparently a child with a head injury can go from being completely well to needing emergency attention very quickly.

I think your pre school did not want to take on that kind of responsiblity. If your son went down hill they might find it hard to contact you in time.

Its not as if pre school is that important. My son had to miss a day of proper school. I can understand how you feel. My son loves school and was distraught having to miss school.

HonoriaGlossop · 17/07/2008 23:03

plus, go to bed and DON'T fret

basically children often go round wanting what the same as they get at home! If they're used to attention at home, they'll want attention from the pre-school helpers!!! So wanting attention wouldn't necessarily mean they viewed him as NOT getting him at home. Indeed those who don't get attention often play alone cos they're used to it IMO

You are reading too much into this I feel

Tommy · 17/07/2008 23:05

DS2 went to pre school with 5 stitches in the back of his head and they didn't bat an eyelid

Original poster
plus3 · 17/07/2008 23:05

He was not knocked out, was not sick, no dizziness, nothing to indicate a head injury. Only reason we went to A&E was to get it stitched/closed as the wound was gaping.It also stopped bleeding very quickly.The only instruction we were given was to keep the wound dry, and that if he were to excessively itch it, it MAY come apart.

Part of me posting this is about whether I was unreasonable in sending him...am worried that I was, and suppose am looking for reassurance that it wasn't the wrong thing to do.

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Original poster
plus3 · 17/07/2008 23:06

HG thank you, am now in tears..

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AbbeyA · 18/07/2008 08:04

YANBU -I would have insisted on going to school at that age.
Perhaps they just misunderstood and were anxious that it was their responsibility to watch him. Perhaps you could have worded it differently and been very matter of fact and just said that he was fine but any problems give you a ring and you would come and get him.

cheshirekitty · 18/07/2008 10:07

Plus, I am a trained nurse and I would have sent my dd if she had sustained the same injury.

YANBU. It is health and safety gone mad, and also the nursery probably has had other parents go mad at them if their child has knocked an injury etc.

Go and have a nice cup of tea and a choc bar.

Elk · 18/07/2008 10:12

YANBU

My dd at the same age went to nursery three days after an eye operation. The Leader and assistants were perfectly happy to make sure she didn't rub her eyes orget glitter or sand in them. She had stiches in both eyes at the time after a squint correction surgery. The consultant said she could go to nursery so she did.

PussinWellies · 18/07/2008 11:16

God, I've sent my daughter to preschool with
broken wrist
broken arm
freshly stitched chin
steritaped eye gash...

not all at once, I should add!

Original poster
plus3 · 18/07/2008 16:53

Thanks everyone, having phoned the school this morning they continued to insist that he should probably stay home for today,as they could not guarentee that they would be able to monitor him! So we have had a lovely day and he will return on Monday for the end of term!

I suspect this HAS been all about how I phrased the need to watch DS or the wound would come undone....I would have been (more than) reasonable if this had occured, but heigh-ho.

I guess next time I won't say anything

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AbbeyA · 19/07/2008 08:02

I am sure that you just made a mistake in the way you worded it. If you get a similar situation in the future just say that he is fine but that you can be phoned if there is a problem.

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