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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my sons school not to supply the children with guns?

40 replies

ANTagony · 17/07/2008 11:56

Tin can alley to be precise. He's 4. I just went to the school for a mums meeting and there was a boy a couple of years older using a set of tin can alley in the hall. Very realistic looking gun.

I complained politely that I didn't feel guns were appropriate and my sons teacher mentioned it to the childs teacher who didn't have issue with it.

I do - the gap between realistic toy guns shooting things and real ones is to close especially being provided for children to play with in a primary school.

Opinions please am I just way off the norm on this one?

OP posts:
lulumama · 17/07/2008 11:58

YANBU

i abhor toy guns, and we have never ever had them in the house, i don;t even like water pistols. so no, YANBU, we are living in a violent enough culture and there are enough things for little children to emulate, without emulating gun play IMO

Twiglett · 17/07/2008 11:58

I think you're right

But I'm sad that I think you're right tbh

Because Tin Can Alley harks back to our childhoods of cowboys and cops and robbers .. it is so target practice

Personally my attitude to guns has loosened from a 'definitely not' when DS was 2 through a 'well maybe a water pistol is ok' aound 3 or 4 to a 'who gives a toss, it's a toy' now DD is 4 (and DS 7)

Oliveoil · 17/07/2008 11:59

hmmm, not sure tbh

I think children will use gun play whatever you ban - eg sticks, fingers, toys

but actual toy guns I think I agree with you

(what is tin can alley?)

Original poster
ANTagony · 17/07/2008 12:00

Tin can alley the child uses the gun to shoot at a pyramid of cans and if hit they fall over.

OP posts:
solo · 17/07/2008 12:02

I never let my Ds have a gun and when he was bought a cap gun by an (ex)bf, it disappeared.
I'm sure that my brother is not a gun toting criminal and he did used to have guns as a boy, cowboys and indians was a fav game in the 70's, but I just hate them and think they should be banned from being sold, especially in todays climate.

Whizzz · 17/07/2008 12:06

I agree with Oliveoil - kids use anything as a gun unfortunately. I don't think not buying them toy guns can stop it

orangehead · 17/07/2008 12:10

I have strong views on toy guns, have never let my sons play with them. Some parents are fine with it. Each to our own and as parents we have the right to make that decision. It is commonly known as an area that parents differ on so something that should be kept out of school, its not the teachers decision to make

Original poster
ANTagony · 17/07/2008 12:15

Orangehead that absolutley hits the nail on the head for me. I feel strongly about it and have rules at home. I respect other people rights in their own homes and that many millions of gun playing children have grown up to be rational balanced adults but, and its a big but, the school shouldn't be providing the guns for the children to play with.

OP posts:
Flashman · 17/07/2008 13:45

I just can't see what you are trying to acheive but not letting a little boy have a gun. It does not mean they will go out and get into guns - by the same token banning them will not stop boys knowing about them. I do find it ironic when ever I think of DW's Aunt - she banned toy guns from the house from her boys. Now the eldest has just earnt finished training in the Commondos, while the next one is in the Army Cadets, and plans to sign for officer training once he is old enough.

orangehead · 17/07/2008 16:56

But the point is parents have the right to make that decision

forevercleaning · 17/07/2008 17:01

dont have a problem with toy guns in the least. My siblings and I all had them, and played with them all day everyday as far as i can remember, whether it be army, cowboys and indians, cops and robbers.

None of them have ever grown up to be a gun toting mad person.

Now if you are talking violent video games that is a different story.

Boys and guns have alwasy been a natural combination. Ask your parents, think of your own childhoods?

Of course, this is just my opnion.

Flashman · 17/07/2008 17:03

I thought the decision should be with the child myself.

HumphreyCushioni · 17/07/2008 17:07

I'm surprised the school allowed this toy.
It's too contentious an issue really.

Had the older boy brought it with him to keep himself occupied during an out of school meeting?

Or was it during a normal school day?

scottishmum007 · 17/07/2008 17:09

I don't see what's wrong with it tbh. He won't turn out to be a murderer, it's all for fun, let them be children.
This society is getting far too PC, it's so sad
Fretting about it only makes playing with the gun even more appealing to kids. If we don't make a fuss over it, like playing with a ball or a tricyle, then it's just a toy to them and nothing more to it than that.

HumphreyCushioni · 17/07/2008 17:10

"I thought the decision should be with the child myself".

Bless you, Flashman.

Is it really your recommended parenting philosophy for a four year old?

If so, I think it may come back to haunt you a little.

wannaBe · 17/07/2008 17:12

I think yabu.

Toy guns do not turn children into murderers.

How many parents ban their children from having toy cars because of the amount of deaths they cause?

far more people die on the roads than as victims of gun crimes, and yet there isn't this histeria over toy cars that there is over guns.

scottishmum007 · 17/07/2008 17:15

that's a valid point wannaBe.

Flashman · 17/07/2008 17:18

Yes and I will stick to it when it comes to toys! It is a toy for gods sake. Can someone tell me why little boys should not play with a toy gun. Do you stop them playing with toy swords? No Pirates or playing being a Knight then. This always strikes me as just something "Planet Mum" do Dads really care? And I have noticed that there are a few mums on here that have no problems.

wannaBe · 17/07/2008 17:21

there are so many toys we could ban nowadays:

Guns/swords because of their violent connotations
cars/trucks/busses because of the links to road deaths
aeroplanes because of the impact on the environment
toy shops/tills/money because of their links to our capitalist society

Flashman · 17/07/2008 17:24

hmm looking at that list wannaBe what can they play with?

forevercleaning · 17/07/2008 17:24

if children in previous generations had turned out to be mad murderers for playing with guns, there would be nobody left!

Joking aside, my siblings and I all allow our children to play with guns, just as we all did, I must have at least 30 kicking around the place, and when all the cousins get together they have the most fabulous time playing snipers, and we sit back and reminisce (sp?!) about doing the same.

A proper childhood just as it should be.

anyway who decided that children having toy guns was dangerous in the first place, which caused this hysteria? Bet those who think they are bad cannot even remember where it all started?

scottishmum007 · 17/07/2008 17:24

wannaBe hitting the nail on the head yet again. I agree with this. Folk are just needing to chill out a bit and let kids be kids. They are only young once (sound like my own mother now...)

TheCrackFox · 17/07/2008 17:28

When I was growing up every single boy had a toy gun, toy rifle and somethies, even, a toy machine gun.

I don't think any of them turned into mass murderers.

stealthsquiggle · 17/07/2008 17:28

I will admit to complete parenting hypocrisy here.

I will not let DS have toy guns, and will stop him if I catch him 'playing guns' with anything else.

..but he has toy swords and plays knights/pirates/Star Wars quite frequently . I know it's inconsistent but that is where I have chosen to draw the line. I am surprised the OP's school allow/supply this though - DS's school have a blanket 'no weapons' policy, so no toy swords, etc allowed to go into school, which is more than fine by me.

HumphreyCushioni · 17/07/2008 17:30

"Yes and I will stick to it when it comes to toys! It is a toy for gods sake. Can someone tell me why little boys should not play with a toy gun. Do you stop them playing with toy swords? No Pirates or playing being a Knight then. This always strikes me as just something "Planet Mum" do Dads really care? And I have noticed that there are a few mums on here that have no problems".

Flashman.....I haven't actually commented that I disagree with "little boys" playing with toy guns. Or little girls playing with toy guns. I don't gender stereotype any toys.

So wind your neck in.

I do, however, have a problem with the idea that four year olds get to decide what they can and can't play with.

If a parent doesn't want their child to play with a particular toy, that is entirely up to them.