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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry that there are no female doctors..... untill wednesday!!!

139 replies

charlotte121 · 17/07/2008 11:48

everyone in the chat thread thinks i am but I have a right to see a female doctor and having to wait nearly a week to see one isnt good enough in my opinion. I have a valid reason for wanting to see a female doc and although im in a lot of pain I really cant see a male doctor!

OP posts:
lulumama · 17/07/2008 18:01

By lulumama on Thu 17-Jul-08 17:54:04
your needs are not being 'pushed aside' they just cannot be met immediately.

i have not said you are not entitled, just you have to wait

fwiw, i don;t think anyone particularly enjoys internals etc.. i had to have one 3 weeks post natal due to uterine infection, with a male GP, with very large hands!! it was not very nice, but he was very sensitive, and i had a chaperone, and it was over and done with in a moment.

i would have preferred a female gp, i have a female gp, but needed to get my pain and bleeding sorted.

Original poster
charlotte121 · 17/07/2008 18:03

franny, i did want to know... i think i lost focus of that to be fair...well i totally forgot about it in all honesty. I ovbiously dont have a similar POV to most people on here on this particular topic.
EXPAT I think it is awful that your father has had to pay for vital drugs in his treatment. Again i think the NHS should pay for them. They waste money in so many areas and then deprive people of cancer drugs which in my mind is criminal.
My mum had lukimia and went through a huge battle of a similar kind and it all boiled down to the price of the drugs. IMO thats not good enough. You dad will have been paying his taxes all his working life and should therefor be given the treatment he needs. Its not like he is asking for something unnecessairy like comsmetic surgery, he just wants to get better and prolong his life.

OP posts:
notjustmom · 17/07/2008 18:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
charlotte121 · 17/07/2008 18:06

alot of the comments just came across that you would go see a male doctor, there was no difference in a man/woman doctor. Sorry if i enterpreted it wrong.

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 17/07/2008 18:06

yes it's difficult, you end up just fighting your corner sometimes and not listening to anyone
I think expat's post sums it up
try to take in what people are actually saying rather than what you think they are saying!
and yes it honestly is unreasonable to be angry - people were saying that from the start, on your chat thread

herbietea · 17/07/2008 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

susie100 · 17/07/2008 18:09

Charlotte - in my experience once you have got through the reception at the GP they are much maleable. Go and see the nurse and you can at least get the ball rolling. I find the doctor can sometimes 'fit you in' that way (via the back door)

The system is not perfect but given the constraints I think it does pretty bloody well actually. Although your desire to see a female doctor is not unreasonable (nor is my desire not to take a morning off work just to get a simple pill prescription cos appointments are all in the middle of the day!) you have to work the system a bit.

Original poster
charlotte121 · 17/07/2008 18:09

I wish i had name changed... noone is ever going to chat to me after this... you all probs think im an idiot... but i was just shcoked at the wait time thats all. I expect i am over reacting... but I expected to be told there would ba an appointment tomorrow and being told i would have to wait a week and then see if they could fit me in was a shock. I hope i havnt anoyed anyone. I feel a bit silly now. i just dont feel I could see a male doctor... thats the problem.

OP posts:
notjustmom · 17/07/2008 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
charlotte121 · 17/07/2008 18:11

and i admit i have blown this out of proportion... its down to personal circumstance i suppose.

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 17/07/2008 18:12

yes don't be daft no-one will remember this next week!

CaptainUnderpants · 17/07/2008 18:13

The thing is if I phone my surgery up and say I need an appointment with a specific DR ( whether male or female) then I might have to wait a week aswell. But if i just need an appointment and am happy to accept any Dr then I could get one that day .

unfortunately it is a fact of life with our NHS at the moment.

YANBU to want to see a female GP but you have to accept the wait- thats where YABU.

Original poster
charlotte121 · 17/07/2008 18:13

I have taken on bored what is said... more importantly expat in particular has made me see that the whole assult issue is obviously more of a problem than i thought it was. when i am at my own doctors next week i'll discuss with them about the issue of female doctors and waiting time and see what they suggest, ie another doctors. I know the surgery is being moved to a bigger new location so perhaps that means they're bringing more doctors in who knows.

OP posts:
notjustmom · 17/07/2008 18:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyThompson · 17/07/2008 18:14

I'm sorry you've had a bad time, Charlotte, and I am extremely sympathetic in that respect. But truly, I don't think it's reasonable to expect a normal GP's practice to necessarily have a doc of a particular sex there on a certain day. You expressed a preference; they asked you to wait a few days. I think that's ok. I know you have what basically amounts to a phobia, but in April I had a burst ovarian cyst and kidney stones at the same time, and I had most of the Royal Free staring up my fanjo. Now, I don't have a problem with this actually but supposing I had, I was in so much agony that if a greeny gurgly alien from Mars had asked to stick his tentacle up there to see what the hell was up I'd have willingly agreed, because I was in AGONY.

Original poster
charlotte121 · 17/07/2008 18:15

can we just blame it on the hormones and the fact that i just had a baby... group hug, shake hands etc etc.

OP posts:
susie100 · 17/07/2008 18:15

Have you seen some of the barneys on here - this is nothing honestly. Relax. Hope your problem gets sorted it is very distressing when things aren't right with your bits and it does alter the way you look at everything.

Incidently I agree with many posters on here - the most gentle smears and exams I have ever had are from male docs and gynaes.

islandofsodor · 17/07/2008 18:16

Charlotte, please get counselling, you need help. I'm not being patronising but this issue has got so blown out of proportion that you are probably not able to think straight about anything atthe moment.

When you are a little calmer (once this has all blown over) please take the time to read through the thread again and take some of the excellent advice given here (finding a different practice/seeing the nurse or whatever).

Where I live (industrial city) there is a huge shortage of doctors full stop, local surgeries have quite a time recruiting anyone at all regardless of gender.

LadyThompson · 17/07/2008 18:17

PS - of course no one's going to hold it against you! It's nowt more than a robust exchange of views. Anyway, I REALLY hope you get this distressing problem sorted one way or the other, and I bet you everyone on this thread thinks that too. Good luck x

islandofsodor · 17/07/2008 18:21

Well group hug is a bit netmumsy but you can have one anyway, I reckon your're needing it at the moment. ((()))

MrsTittleMouse · 17/07/2008 18:23

No problem - like I said, my painful scar after childbirth made me very angry, and I didn't have any prior "history" with my bits.
Hope it all gets sorted out for you.

expatinscotland · 17/07/2008 18:23

please try to get some counselling!

after i got some, i saw that letting this incident take over my life was letting my perpetrator 'win', when he didn't care and didn't even see what he did as a crime.

well, with a counsellor's help, there was NO way i was going to let that happen.

it's NOT a persons's fault what his/her gender is. and many doctors just want to help, no matter if male or female.

if you're in pain they want to help you sort that and get both you and them on the way.

and i have been to see a nurse about something, but when she noticed there was a more serious situation going on, she got in the doc asap - no wait.

Original poster
charlotte121 · 17/07/2008 18:23

I think i annoyed expatinscotland tho. I hope i didnt. I just havnt slept in 6 weeks with a new born and a 1 yr old on my own... you know what u get like when ur running on empty/ had a bad day etc.
Sorry if i did piss anyone off. I was being rather silly. I will make it upto u all by finding a hilarious joke that will make you wet ur knickers

OP posts:
LadyThompson · 17/07/2008 18:25

No making up needed, I'm sure. I just hope you get some rest and your problem sorted soon.

expatinscotland · 17/07/2008 18:25

you didn't annoy me, but i think you need to get some help, because life is long and it's unreasonable to expect to be seen immediately by the physician of your gender choice for any sort of problem like this that comes up in the course of your life.

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