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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry that there are no female doctors..... untill wednesday!!!

139 replies

charlotte121 · 17/07/2008 11:48

everyone in the chat thread thinks i am but I have a right to see a female doctor and having to wait nearly a week to see one isnt good enough in my opinion. I have a valid reason for wanting to see a female doc and although im in a lot of pain I really cant see a male doctor!

OP posts:
bubblagirl · 17/07/2008 14:02

to be honest if im in that much pain i dont really care who i see male or female i have had many problem down below for years and have seen both

as far as im concerned they are there to do a proffessional job and as long as my needs in medical ways are met then im not bothered who sees to me

i can understand you may not be comfortable for whatever reason but men have to see women doctors for personal things they are doctors after all

if no ome else is available then you may have to see male gp we have one female doc at my surgery but i'lls ee whoever is available so im not in agony or pain for longer than i need to be

twinkle3869 · 17/07/2008 14:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cory · 17/07/2008 14:15

We're not all unsympathetic, Twinkle; my impression is that the majority of posters do understand Charlotte's very real problems. But she has not been listening to the practical explanations people have been offerring (probably understandable if she is in a lot of pain). Instead, she has opened a second thread about it being a disgrace after receiving some very sensible, helpful and level-headed advice on the first thread.

In the first thread, she suggested that she was actually able to get the help she wanted from her mother's surgery so that her thread was not one of desperation, but that she still wanted to make her point that this was a disgrace.

OurHamsterisevil · 17/07/2008 14:30

What would you do if there was no female doctor at your practice. WE have one who works pt so impossible to see her

islandofsodor · 17/07/2008 14:30

On the contrary I have seen nothing but sympathy and understanding for Charlotte but she did post on AIBU and unfortunately it is the majority opinion that it is unreasonablt to expect the level of service that she wishes for her specific requirements on the NHS within such a limited time scale.

lulumama · 17/07/2008 15:01

do you think that the doctor should come in on her day off ?

if you were admitted to A&E you might have no choice about who you saw, or a long wait for a female doctor

it might be worth, as someone else has suggested, changing to a doctor's surgery with more female doctors

harleyd · 17/07/2008 15:10

theres 4 female doctors and 6 male doctors in my health centre.
to get an appointment with my own doctor, who just so happens to be female is nearly a 4 week wait.

if you are in so much pain that you cant wait till wednesday then fgs go and see anybody

i would have thought that by the time most women have had kids and been poked and prodded by all sorts of doctors, nurses, midwives and students then it wouldnt matter a damn

Original poster
charlotte121 · 17/07/2008 16:58

Just to point out i didnt open a second thread to get a difference in opinion... I wanted to know if i was being unreasonable in my expectations of being able to see a female doctor before wednesday... everybody has mixed opinions which is fine. The first thread i started was saying how anoyed i was.... this one was purely so I could see like i said if i was over reacting... I havnt "ignored" peoples comments and will actually take them on board and see if i can change doctors as Im sure this issue will arise again in the future if i have a private problem that needs to be attended by a doctor.

As for the claims that i "cant be in the much pain" because I wont see a male doctor... Imagine trying to pass a piece of glass next time your on the loo... I am in a great deal of pain but I will not be forced to see a male doctor. I have had counciling for what I went through in the past and still have a lot of issues surrounding men. Its not something I can help and I would like it to be different as it causes problems within relationships as well. Its not going to change so there is not alot I can do about it. I dont think you can judge what it is like to have been through an assult and then tell someone they are over reacting by not wanting a man to examine them. Its different for everyone and I find it hard to deal with.
I have not said anywhere that my needs are greater than the next patient and understand that the resources of the nhs are stretched but i still stand my ground that it is a long time to wait to see a doctor... I could end up phoning up on weds morning in an attempt to get an appointment and find that she was all booked up and end up waiting another week. I have resolved the problem for now so I am happy. It has been very interesting to see everyone's views and although I have found some slightly offencive I appreciate everyones opinions.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 17/07/2008 17:04

I was date raped by my best friend's brother's flatmate when I was 18, charlotte, so plenty of us have been there.

But this is the NHS, charlotte, and you are NOT being denied any 'rights'.

You will see a female doctor. When one is available.

If you are referred to a GYN and specify you want only a female, be prepared to wait.

That is socialised medicine. It is not designed to cater to everyone's psychological needs. It can't do that or it would be cost prohibitive.

If you feel that strongly about it, you need to buy some private healthcare insurance.

Can't afford it? Then you have to take what you get.

That's how it is.

I have had male doctors for GYN problems and told them to please tell me EVERYTHING they were doing as I had been raped in the past.

I've never found one who wouldn't comply.

lulumama · 17/07/2008 17:26

have you had counselling? it might be a help for you. i appreciate it must be very difficult, but YABU to say you are not going to be 'forced' to see a male doctor.

change doctors surgery if necessary too.

Original poster
charlotte121 · 17/07/2008 17:31

Im not going to get into an argument about this but I do think you are being denied your rights if you have had a traumatic expericance and can not see a female doctor. its like rubbing salt on a wound.
I know I would find it very upsetting to be examined by a male doctor and given the number of times i have been to and from the doctors over the past few weeks with this problem I would have cracked up if i would have had to of seen a man each time. It would be traumatising.
Im sure with time I what happened in the past will become hopefully a distant memory, but for now im still upset by it.

Its a basic case that more and more of our need are pushed aside by the nhs... you cant even get a doctor to come out to the hosue anymore... whereas when I was a baby and i was i'll if my mum were to call the doctor one would come visit. everything seems to be about cost and profit and it shouldnt be.
No I cannot afford private helth care or insurance but why should I... things never used to be this bad! Why should people have to pay to see a doctor when they are paying tax and national insurance. The service provided by the NHS should be good enough, but it isnt! Im not putting this down to the doctors or nurses, i think they are doing a good job, its the government who is the problem.
Like you say I will see a female doctor when one is available. but i dont think it shoudl be like that. I know that they cant magic one out of the air, im not stupid but I think that each doctors surgery should have 1 female doctor there each day for this reason. This has nothing to do with female doctors chosing to have a career and a family, its a distribution problem. When I go to the doctors next I fully intend to tell them that i dont think it is good enough and find out where I can go that has more female doctors so that this wont happen again.

OP posts:
LookattheLottie · 17/07/2008 17:34

Well I think there should be an equal ammount of female/male doctors available, unfortunatley it just doesn't always happen like that.

Jees, in my doctors it's better to see the male doctors, the female docs are horrible! My 8 week check up after having dd was awful, horrid woman who has no bedside manner and was very rough. The male doctors are always nice and kind, and make a huge fuss of dd.

MsDemeanor · 17/07/2008 17:38

Er, how exactly do you think the government should make every GP's surgery have a female doctor available to anyone who wants one every day? Suppose they do have a female doctor who happens to be fully booked when you call? What then?
Suppose they have a vacancy and the best or indeed, only, applicant is male and their current female GP works part time?
Suppose their female GP goes on holiday?
While I understand your feelings, I think your expectations are completely unrealistic and to blame the government is madness.

expatinscotland · 17/07/2008 17:39

you ARE seeing a female doctor.

'but I think that each doctors surgery should have 1 female doctor there each day for this reason.'

you're being incredibly unreasonable because believe it or not, it is just not an issue for most people.

and that's why i think you should ask for a counselling referral when you're next at an appiontment.

because there may be emergencies in which you have to be seen and treated by whoever is available and if that's going to traumatise you then you need some serious counselling.

LookattheLottie · 17/07/2008 17:39

I do find it odd that there aren't any female doctors, there's lots at my surgery. But I'm in a small town, you're in Bristol? Could that be the problem? Big city = shortage. If you're in pain could you not get examined by a nurse, or go to hospital?

Sorry if this has been covered already, I've not read the thread through.

expatinscotland · 17/07/2008 17:40

doctors still come out to peoples' houses here.

it's a very rural area, however.

when we lived in a city, we got to the surgery.

LookattheLottie · 17/07/2008 17:42

We get house visits too, but again, small town.

emj23 · 17/07/2008 17:47

I once asked to make an appointment to see a woman doctor, but my surgery didn't have an available appointment for three weeks. I just said 'Never mind then, I'll be better by then!'.

Original poster
charlotte121 · 17/07/2008 17:48

I know most of my family and friends would not be happy to see a male doctor if it concerned having an examination of the lower regions. I have been chatting with people about it most of the day.
The issue is msdemeanor there is not going to ba a female doctor in the doctors surgery untill wednesday... and that happens on a regular basis. so if loads of women want to see the female doctor there is going to be a huge wait if she is only there 1 day a week.

OP posts:
lulumama · 17/07/2008 17:53

i totally agree with expat and i reiterate, i think you need some counselling

i understand you are angry, but lots of positive solutions have been offered,

i also think you should change doctors' surgery to one that is predominantly female

lulumama · 17/07/2008 17:54

your needs are not being 'pushed aside' they just cannot be met immediately.

expatinscotland · 17/07/2008 17:56

that must be just your family then, because the majority of people here have stated ad nauseum that when they're suffering they just want to get the matter sorted and don't really care about the gender of the person doing the sorting.

men as well as women. my dad was seen by several female consultants when he had prostate cancer. his HUGE overriding concern was getting that cancer hte hell out of his body, no matter what it took, and it took a lot of intimate examinations.

the NHS can't even pay for vital cancer drugs in some areas and you're griping about having to wait a few days to see a physician who is the gender of your choice.

like i said, hope you get a referral for some counselling.

FrannyandZooey · 17/07/2008 17:56

charlotte - you did ask - "AIBU?"
and the overwhelming answer is that yes you are
I am wondering why you asked, as you clearly didn't want to know
(mind you this is common mistake on AIBU and have made it myself)

Original poster
charlotte121 · 17/07/2008 17:57

Im having counciling atm, however i dont think it is purely down to what i have been through, i really do think that if a woman has a personal problem then she should be able to see a female doctor. I really dont think that is aking too much. I am going to look into chaning to a different doctors. I would like to go to my mums one but im not in the "catchment" area so I cant.
Im not trying to sound stubborn or rude, Im just astonished that alot of you dont think that a woman is entitled to the right to see a female doctor. I could understand you thinking i was being out of order if i had a cold and i wanted to see a woman but when it is something personal like this I dont think that it should be an issue.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 17/07/2008 17:59

'Im not trying to sound stubborn or rude, Im just astonished that alot of you dont think that a woman is entitled to the right to see a female doctor.'

FFS, then, are you just not reading the posts?

NO ONE is saying you don't have the right to see a female doctor.

And you are seeing one!

Just that you can't expect immediate service sometimes.