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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel apprehensive about this.

19 replies

amethyst8 · 17/07/2008 10:25

PIL having an anniversary party and have booked a river cruise boat to go down the Thames. It will be in the evening. I don't feel that this sort of trip is suitable for my dc aged 1 and 5.

Firstly I am worried about the safety issues. Also I know that there will be quite a bit of drinking and although I don't drink I am concerned that one of my children while "in the care" of a relative will maybe just get away and have an accident of some kind. You always hear of accidents happening when you thought someone else was watching. H says that he will watch one child and I will watch the other but I know he will be drinking a fair amount and I am just worried that something might happen without anyone realising. I can't imagine there is much room for error on a cruise boat in the dark.

I do really want honest opinions because H is angry with me and says I am trying to "spoil" the party. I really am not. If it was a do in a hall or restaurant I would be really excited but the boat thing scares me.

Tell me if I being silly please and what you would do. Thanks.

OP posts:

2point4kids · 17/07/2008 10:28

It will be harder work to keep an eye on them, plus its in the evening so wont they be tired and grumpy?
I'd hire a babysitter definitely!

mumblechum · 17/07/2008 10:30

Well, first of all, make sure the kids have life jackets on! We live near the river and the ds has always had a life jacket on even when just messing around in rowing boats. The boat will provide them to you.

I would try not to worry too much, the boat will probably have those perspex sides which would make it impossible for all but the most determined child to clamber over the side.

kerryk · 17/07/2008 10:30

i would hire a sitter and actually be able to enjoy the night.

might not go down well with the rest of the family if they want everyone to be there but better than something happening.

happystory · 17/07/2008 10:30

I can understand your worries. From what I know of these boats there will be an inside bit so I wouldn't be too worried about the 1 year old as I think it would be quite easy to keep him with you or in a buggy (any chance he'll sleep through most of the evening?!)

But a scampering 5 year old is a different matter. I think maybe your dh has to not have a 'fair amount' to drink and be the responsible parent for the older one.

mumblechum · 17/07/2008 10:31

Actually, second the idea of a babysitter so you can relax and enjoy yourselves.

bruhaha · 17/07/2008 10:32

i don't think you are being silly - your H is being insensitive and wrong for being angry. Boats are dangerous especially for youngsters. Will they have life vests on?

Try and get a babysitter or take them for an hour and then go home if the PIL want them to be there, just show face.

charliecat · 17/07/2008 10:32

Why dont you go, take care of both of the kids yourself and let dh enjoy the party(get ratted) but you stay sober and in control of the little ones.
Then you wont have to worry.

Original poster

amethyst8 · 17/07/2008 10:52

Thanks everyone. I told him I wanted the kids to wear life jackets and he said it would be silly to do that and "probably not allowed". I told him I would take the kids and show face but the cruise is for a set time and I would have to stay on for the whole thing. I will stay sober because I don't drink but it will be difficult to keep an eye on both of them because there will be the usual passing the baby round to relatives etc. I know I will be absolutely slated if I don't take them on as well.

OP posts:

happystory · 17/07/2008 10:56

at your dh, lifejackets won't be 'allowed'.

plantsitter · 17/07/2008 11:01

It's probably worth finding out which boat you'll be on. Lots of them actually only have a really tiny outside bit which would make it a bit easier maybe. And your kids will probably HAVE to wear lifejackets. I work in London tourism so I've been on tonnes of these things!

Lionstar · 17/07/2008 11:04

Bit of a long shot, but could you hire a babysitter and take them with you to have a second pair of responsible eyes?
Those river cruise things are usually noisy and packed and the motion will make it difficult for little ones to keep their feet. However there is often a downstairs bit where you might be able to corral the kids and not take them on deck. Mind you I would be a bit scared of being downstairs in case the boat started sinking (sorry I know that doesn't help). I don't think I would take kids under 5 if it was me TBH.

Ivegotaheadache · 17/07/2008 11:08

Does the baby walk? If not then it will probably be quite easy to keep an eye on him (her?) but if he does walk it may be difficult, you can't keep him in a buggy the whole time.
Butthen he shouuld fall asleep quite early, hopefully, and stay in the one place.

I don't think it will be difficult to keep an eye on the 5 year old, though I know it totally depends on the child. If they're the type to be relatively calm and just mingle happily then it's ok. But if you have a hyper 5 yr old it will be more difficult, but not totally undo-able.

I understand your concerns though, can you get a babysitter?

Original poster

amethyst8 · 17/07/2008 11:19

Panic over just spoke to SIL feeling strengthened by the general agreement of there being concerns attached to such a trip and it appears that this is no longer happening and a room has been hired. So feeling very relieved and happy now. Thanks everyone.

OP posts:

itati · 17/07/2008 11:20

Honestly? I wouldn't go. Let your H go and you stay at home with the children. I don't see how you will enjoy it with the worry of the children and the 1 year old especially, is too young.

itati · 17/07/2008 11:21

Note to self - read all thread before answering!

Good result.

Original poster

amethyst8 · 17/07/2008 11:24

Thanks though itati. You were right though. I was just steeling myself to do what your post said and the almighty battle with dh that would ensue but luckily no problem now.

OP posts:

Oblomov · 17/07/2008 11:31

I know this is sorted now, but in general, I think you are worrying too much.
We had a boat for our wedding party. They are very safe. They normally have very little access to outside space/rails/river access.
1000's of people go on boat trips all the time. Young and old.
I think there must be other issues going on, as to why you don't want to go, but but safety shouldn't be one of them.
So long as you are aware and careful , children should be safe.

Original poster

amethyst8 · 17/07/2008 11:38

You are probably right Oblomov. H will get legless and probably become insulting in his quiet, hissy way and I will be stuck on a boat with him while desperately holding on for dear life to two small, grumpy children. However I kept going cold at the thought of one of my children tripping up and falling through a rail into the dark water. He says now he would be responsible but I know he wouldn't be.

OP posts:

cory · 17/07/2008 11:41

All my family lives by the coast/spends summers on a small island only accessible by boat/owns several boats between them, so I would probably have been fine with this. Also used to travel home across the North Sea by ferry when dd was little. Safer than a venue next to a main road IMHO. Still, it's all sorted now by the sounds of it so you don't have to worry about it.

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