to be a bit disappointed not to receive any kind of thank you from niece

[MaryAnnSingleton]

for her present ? I think she thinks her mum has thanked us for it,which isn't quite the same thing, particularly as she was 21. It was a really nice present too,chosen very carefully and I wanted to hear what she thought of it

it really gets my goat that no-one in my family makes a point of saying thank you. i spent months making handmade gifts for all my nieces and nephews last christmas, didn't get a single thank you.

Well it has only been a week. Some people are quick about getting thank you's sent out, others aren't. I think it's a bit unreasonable to expect one that quickly lol, she's probably still recovering from the 21st celebrations

My dd's first Birthday was at the end of May and I only got the thanks you's sent out a week ago. I just haven't had the time to write 40 thank you cards out straight after her Birthday. It's taken weeks! In fact, I think I may have missed sending some to people that sent gifts at a later date. Should check that asap.

If you don't get one then yes, it's very rude of her. But give her a chance before thinking badly about it all, like you said, it's only been a week.

It's only been a week. After a month I would be thinking right, I'm going to post about you on Mumsnet, you little ingrate

• yes, I'll wait and see - for all I know she'll be writing it as I type !

YANBU, very rude not to thank-you, she is an adult so should do it herself.

thing is her mother does do lots of stuff for her- she's been away at university but gets all her washing/ironing etc done...I'm thinking that maybe this extends to thanking people for presents !

OK, IT'S JUST OVER 3 WEEKS NOW...SHOULD i SAY ANYTHING ??

YANBU. Its very rude and there has been time for her to do it. I hate things like this. I am still waiting to be thanked for wedding presents sent to two couples years ago. It grates on me.

tell you what i had better things to prioritise at 21 than sending a thank you card

boys
alcohol
uni
social life

sheesh i dont think you should all be so machivellian about this.

no card so what?not the worst

nope doesnt make her bad/ungrateful/rude

actually just means she didnt send a thank you card

maybe she loved the present

i think it bitty odd to buy present and then sit one week later drumming fingers waiting on a thank you reply

Sorry but I do think its ungrateful not to thank someone for a present. Even a 20 second phone call would be better than nothing.

i have given presents with no expectation of a thank you,how onerous to expect

give graciously
dont stew over a flippin card
some people have kind hearts but terrible memories

i dont like all this standing on ceremony, silent expectation "well you would think..."

what a disporportionate waste of time

i didnt know bride&groom were "meant" to give thank you cards, i have not received any from friends

nor am i that bothered

YANBU. Very rude not to send thanks either in person, by home or by mail. Give her another week before you get too bugged by it though, one week not that long really.

I actually stopped sending gifts in the end to some young cousins of mine as I was fed up of never recieving any thanks. As I used to send presents by post I didn't even know if they had arrived really (well, I did as my nana would sometimes say) but as far as they knew I didn't.

yes ladies form an indignant posse tutting about rudeness in todays society.maybe angry mob round at her home demanding fond salutations and written recognition for presents sent

you would think that.....yada yada.....not even a card...manners....what do the mother's teach em....

as i said disproportionate fuss really

I just like to see politeness ScottishMummy - call me old fashioned if you like. But a quick thank you really doesn't hurt surely?

Oh dear - I am rubbish at thank you letters etc. I do send them, but they are always horribly late. So maybe give her a little more time?

blimey scottish - it's just good manners that's all...an email would have sufficed - just to say I liked the present (chosen with great care) - it's sad to think that people are too busy or can't be arsed to take the time to do something nice and acknowledge a present - it takes seconds to do and can mean a lot.
I've waited 3 weeks, I shall probably leave it.

manners- great.but the sheer unspoken expectation of a card to measure gratefulness, is well a bit rude in itself

really can one not give graciously beacause you want to?without the weight and expectation of doing the right thing

YANBU

I use to send my niece gifts and money and never received a thank you.

Now I have my twin boys, her parents never send them gifts, Christmas card or birthday card (they are 4yo now). My niece's 21st birthday is coming up and I will send her a card but that will be it from now on.

I can't abide ungratefulness and the whole family are ungrateful as well as inconsiderate.

Agree with ScottishMummy. I don't send presents in expectation of a thank you.

I don't expect a card - I just wanted to hear that she liked the present - of course I give without expecting to be thanked and will continue to do so, it's just thoughtful and nice if someone does. Manners are important - it's a poor world where they are forgotten.

SM, a simple phone call to say thank you is not beyond the capability of most 21yo, especially as many of them usually have mobile glued to their ear anyway.

Our nation is suffering from a breakdown in manners, politeness and just general consideration for others. I don't expect anybody to stand on ceremony when I give them a gift. I would like them to just say thank you either through a telephone call or a thank you letter or email. That is what I do.

thank you spokette - that's what I mean

yes manners are VImportant but you are imposing your expectation of good manners (eg thank you etc) onto someone else who may not necessarily know they are "meant" to respond

is that expectation in itself not rude

what is important - the giving or the recognition of giving

i do Thank you cards but have no expectation of a response

nor do i read anything into it if none received