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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to bring my kids in from playing.................

39 replies

iliketosleep · 13/07/2008 22:15

DD1 7 and DD2 6 go out every evening and nearly all day saturday and sunday to play with their friends. They only go to the bottom of the cul de sac which is about 6 doors down from us so isn't a problem.

The thing that is troubling me is that I call them in at 8pm apart from on a sunday when its in at 6 for sunday 'dinner', bath and bed ready for the following school day. I think this is more than ok for kids their age but their friends are allowed to stop out until around 9pm. The friends are of the same age or younger, dd1 is the eldest of them all. When I bring DDs in they can hear their friends laughing and screaming down the road and I feel really guilty that I have brought them in

They dont complain about it but i keep thinking maybe im being to uptight?

Its also the same when it rains, it could be bucketing it down and i will call them in and their freinds will just go and get umbrellas and stay out there.

Am I too over protective??

OP posts:
2shoes · 13/07/2008 22:17

no way
yanbu

Bronze · 13/07/2008 22:18

I don't think so but then my lot seem to go to bed at what I think is a reasonable time yet their friends will often be up a lot later. I don't know how they survive to be honest.

Limara · 13/07/2008 22:18

No, the other parents are too laxed. They are being totally unreasonable.

Please don't give this another thought, it makes me sick that we have to continually question this kind of thing. Can you tell this has got me all fired up?

Lazy parents.

KerryMum · 13/07/2008 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

admylin · 13/07/2008 22:19

9pm is far too late for that age if you ask me. However it reminds me of my childhood, we were always tucked up in bed and could hear the neighbourhood kids still out playing - still think it's too late though !

tortoise · 13/07/2008 22:19

8pm on school evenings?
My 8 yr old is just going to bed then. He reads for a while before lights out.
He wouldn't be out playing until 9pm(or 8pm).

pgwithnumber3 · 13/07/2008 22:19

I think it is lovely that you let them play outside! No YANBU, they are still young and I would say that the time they come in is fine.

themildmanneredjanitor · 13/07/2008 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jas · 13/07/2008 22:21

Sounds reasonable to me, but I do pretty much the same with mine (aged 7and 9).
Thankfully I have one neighbour who is similar with her ds' but there are often children as young as 3 still out past 9 when it is light.

cheesesarnie · 13/07/2008 22:22

yanbu.my 8 and 7 year old go to bed at 8pm!

Cynthia32 · 13/07/2008 22:22

No i think your giving them just the right amount of freedom for the age they are. when do the other children eat their tea and have a bath if they're out until nine o'clock? call me judgey if you wish but i think children 6 or under should be in bed by 9 on a school night and it sounds like their parents don't care much.

Limara · 13/07/2008 22:22

You do what's best for you and yours. I won't let my ds(10) go to the local outdoor pool on his own approx 2 miles. He gets ribbed by his mates as they go and on their bikes with no helmets.

FGS, anything could happen.

Nope, I'm the parent, not his mates, not his mates parents, me.

janeite · 13/07/2008 22:23

I think 8 is too late tbh. By then I think they should be getting bathed and having stories at that age.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 13/07/2008 22:23
  1. Stop beating yourself up, you sound like a great mum and they're lucky to have you.
  2. If they aren't complaining, why are you so worred?
  3. They get a whole weekend of play, then a lovely dinner and a relaxing bath before getting a decent night's sleep so they're fresh and alert for school- You're doing the right thing, leave the other mothers to cope with their grumpy tired kids in the morning!

I suppose you could do a sunday lunch rather than a later dinner, to give them an extra hour, if it bothers you? I would probably let them out with umbrellas/wellies if it's just normal rain tbh, but mine is still a baby so I don't know how I'll feel when he's your kids age.

PeaMcLean · 13/07/2008 22:24

that you can let your children play out in the street.

YANBU though.

bellavita · 13/07/2008 22:24

I started a thread last night about the very same thing.

My DS1 is 11 and I asked him last night to come back in at 8.30 which I thought was late enough. He did mention that his friends were still playing out and I did feel a little guilty but they do need their sleep.

No YANBU.

Original poster
iliketosleep · 13/07/2008 22:25

Im so glad im not

They go to bed at between 8:30 and 9pm which has only recently started happening, bedtime was 7pm before the clocks changed and they were not allowed out as it was dark.

It gives half an hour or so for them to play a game or something with ds whos 4 and desperatly wants to go out and play with his sisters.

OP posts:
Limara · 13/07/2008 22:27

My MIL keeps telling me her kids were tucked up in bed by 7pm up to the age of 7-8yo.

Do you think our generation are putting our kids to bed far too late, don't they need 12hrs sleep?

bellavita · 13/07/2008 22:28

Limara - DS1 has stopped riding his bike altogether because we ask him to wear a helmet and of course all his mates don't wear one. He would rather walk along side them than put it on.

OurHamsterisevil · 13/07/2008 22:31

YANBU. It happens where I live, loads of kids allowed play out until really late, starting at about 4 yrs old. DS is almost 5 and fortunately hasn't asked about playing out in the street yet. I know some day he will moan he is going to bed earlier than his friends, but I will stick to my guns.

Don't worry about it

TheRealPhartiphukborlz · 13/07/2008 22:32

12 hours sleep?
possibly but especially in the summer months, and with other children out playing it is far to difficult

Limara · 13/07/2008 22:33

bellavita, I know what you mean, my ds the same. I was talking about his mates visit to the pool which is miles away and the use of an incredibly busy road. My ds will sneak out without a helmet if he's riding near our house or in the park, really quiet area.

Original poster
iliketosleep · 13/07/2008 22:34

I have told ds he can start going down for a while when he is 5 and of course i will be stuck to the window like a suction cup watching his every move. He will only be allowed about 30 mins though and under full supervision of big sisters! (and mummy peeping out from behind the curtains )

OP posts:
bellavita · 13/07/2008 22:35

They might not need 12 hours sleep, but it does no harm for them to be in bed resting.

Sometimes my boys read for a while which I don't mind them doing.

AbbeyA · 13/07/2008 22:36

I think that at that age they should be in bed by 8 o'clock.