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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my DH is a k**b and should grow up

23 replies

Lukesmammy · 13/07/2008 20:26

Okay, bit of background info before you make your mind up.

My DH works very long hours and wasn't home from Friday morning till Saturday afternoon. His job sometimes involves community type stuff and we were at one in a local pub today with a lot of his colleagues and their wives. DH had a few bevvies while there.

We came home, I made dinner, DH said that he really fancied going back to pub for a few pints. I said didn't think that was fair, as he had been out Thurs night, away Friday night and thought he should be wih me and DS aged 1.

DH normally baths DS whilst I wash bottles etc. He fell asleep on carpet and wouldn't be moved no matter how many times I tried.

Sooo, I had to cook dinner, wash bottle for bedtime feed, bath DS, feed him, settle him and then come down and sort other bottles out whilst he lay on the living room floor! I have also done all of this for the past few days while he has been away.

Am totally fed up, his job involves a lot of long hours and sociables. AIBU to be fed up that I have to do everything? Don't get me wrong - I adore caring for DS but just think that it is very very unequal at times.

OP posts:
IAteRosemaryConleyForBreakfast · 13/07/2008 20:29

YANBU because if he thought he had the energy to go out for more drinks then he should have managed to give you a wee hand while at home, not crash out on the floor instead!

I would have been tempted to give him a toe in the ribs while passing

controlfreakyagain · 13/07/2008 20:29

wtf is a k**b??

DeeRiguer · 13/07/2008 20:30

ha ha cfa
its knob
was gonna post how it took me ages to work it out
thought it was kebab!

BouncingTurtle · 13/07/2008 20:31

I would have been tempted to pile the ironing on him
Seriously though, you need to talk to him and tell him you are not happy - ok so he works long hours, but so do you - you are looking after your lo 24/7! A little help wouldn't go amiss!

BouncingTurtle · 13/07/2008 20:32

Dee - PMSL I thought that as well!

nobodysfool · 13/07/2008 20:32

YANBU!!!!
Your a much nicer person than me i would have chucked a bucket of cold water over him!

Elasticwoman · 13/07/2008 20:34

Washing bottles seems a tremendous waste of time and effort. Why not just give him milk in a lidded cup if he's over 1?

My 2 girls were weaned from the breast at 1 year and lost interest in milk after that(not altogether but they had v little). At a year they can have a good mixed diet. My dds are now teenagers and have had no tooth decay at all - an indication i think that they have not gone short on calcium.

Re your dh: if he fell asleep on the carpet, he must have been v tired. But he owes you some time off, ie childfree time to spend as you wish.

LongLiveGreenElizabeth · 13/07/2008 20:34

men do not understand that women work hard and work non stop. The man can just go and have some down time in the pub. The woman often ends up pleading for help, which is humiliating.

So many women (and I was one of them) aren't able to just announce, "right I'm off now, put baby to bed! see you"

Elasticwoman · 13/07/2008 20:34

lol at kebab!

posieflump · 13/07/2008 20:36

I wouldn't have bothered making any dinner, just phoned for a takeaway
He was obviously a bit worse for wear (that's why you couldn't wake him)

SSSandy2 · 13/07/2008 20:38

is knob such a bad word that you had to put * in it?!

Mine was Mr Invisible when dd was small too. I did everything and he was at work all day and asleep all weekend recovering from work. It's no fun. Think now how you would like him to make up for it next weekend so he knows what to do.

Hope next weekend is better.

Monkeytrousers · 13/07/2008 20:38

I thought it was a krab

Original poster
Lukesmammy · 13/07/2008 20:47

Ha ha - okay, so maybe knob isn't such a bad word but didn't want to offend anybody!

Thing is he knows exactly how I feel as I have explained this loudly, many many times. So much so, that I sometimes hate the sound of my own voice whilst doing so.

Elasticwoman - know what you mean about the bottles. He drinks water out of lidded cups all the time but refuses to drink milk out of them. He isn't the best eater so don't want to make drinking milk an issue too if you see what I mean?

DH job is very tiring and demanding but then again - so is mine!!!!

OP posts:
2point4kids · 13/07/2008 20:50

YANBU - he should help more. have a word with him.

Elasticwoman - is it really that much harder to wash a bottle than it is to wash a cup with a lid? Hardly the point here is it

Elasticwoman · 13/07/2008 21:09

I never washed a whole load of cups up at once, because at that age my dc didn't want so much milk. Does the OP's child really want it or is she giving milk out of habit or a belief that children of that age need milk several times a day? And yes, it is the point, because the OP specifically mentioned having to wash lots of bottles.

Elasticwoman · 13/07/2008 21:16

Sorry OP, didn't see your last post. Could it be he's not such a good eater BECAUSE he has too much milk? (Devil's advocate here!)

I understand your not wanting to make an issue out of his diet, because it's never a good idea to make a battleground out of mealtimes. Do you always offer solids and water first? You could just cut down the amount of milk you offer; subtle changes might not be noticed.

All I'm suggesting is just to see if he really wants as much milk as you're currently offering.

SSSandy2 · 13/07/2008 21:21

is your k**b one of those types that need to have it spelt out to them clearly but gently what EXACTLY you would like them to do rather than that you wait for him to help and he doesn't and you snap IYSWIM.

I mean have you tried , dear k**b, could you do X and Y please while I'm doing Z?

SSSandy2 · 13/07/2008 21:22

Or even just I would like you to do X and Y when you come home

Original poster
Lukesmammy · 15/07/2008 20:41

Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to respond - no computer access for days - arrrghhh!

Elasticwoman - My DS is only offered milk on a morning and evening. He does still have one during the night though but this is slowly decreasing. We have tried all sorts to stop him having milk through the night to no avail, but he seems to be stopping it himself naturally.

I didn't think that 14 oz milk was too much for a 15 month old, and that it was the recommended amount?

He is given his morning milk first thing (6ish) then breakfast afterwards at about 7.30. Lunch - sandwiches etc - no milk offered, just water instead and his evening bottle is given at 7ish so a while after dinner at 5ish.

The only reason I was washing bottles in two stages is that I have chucked out all of his old bottles and bought two new BPA free ones - I had none ready for evening feed and then came down and rewashed for during the night and breakfast - may have sounded misleading!

Sssandy2 - my k**b is definitely of that variety!

OP posts:
Egg · 15/07/2008 20:48

Elasticwoman - not sure your posts are really that relevant Confused. I don't think in the grand scheme of things that washing bottles is the problem.

To the OP, YANBU. Definitely.

Egg · 15/07/2008 20:49

BTW lukesmammy, seeing as we are talking milk, my DS1, who is 2.5, has tons of milk and also eats tons of food. He doesn't have milk in the night, and doesn't use bottles, but he loves milk, so he drinks it... I would say he sometimes has nearly two PINTS a day.

Elasticwoman · 15/07/2008 21:03

Bottles are only a small part of the prob Egg I agree.

Nikkitwotimes · 15/07/2008 21:14

just read all this, if I were you Lukesmammy I would just wait til your DH is home for an evening and then go out and leave him to it. Let him spend an evening in your shoes and see how he likes it

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