to think it's a bit much for SIL to demand that we rush out and buy special food for lunch for her DS?

[Youcanthaveeverything]

They are coming up for the week end to my Mum's. She just called my Mum and asked her to go and get an organic chicken breast for her DS's lunch. My Mum can only get to Co op (a little one) who don't do organic. SIL says 'DO NOT but anything from coop'.
So Mum phones me to ask me to drive to Tesco to get chicken.

AIBU to think he could have something else for lunch today?

I feel like she is VERY particular and we have to fulfil all her demands as if they were reasonable.

Sorry paolosgirl but I don't agree, why should that mother allow her child to be given pizza if she doesn't want her to? Because your friend invited the child for dinner so he/she should be grateful for what she's given?
Only a few years ago mothers who asked that their children not be given sweets or meat or dairy would be considered nutty. Now we're on board with veggie and lactose intolerant but we're bashing the organics?

The issue is surely not whether SIL is wrong for feeding organic but whether she has been high handed in demanding chicken from a particular shop and not shifting her arse to get it herself. So call the woman on her mobile and say you can't get into Tesco but have a chicken breast in the freezer. Don't apologise. If she asks if it is organic be honest and say you have no idea. Don't apologise. Assuming that's not good enough, suggest she pops into Tesco on the way herself. Don't apologise. If she's really desperate you could offer to go after all, leaving a suitable pause for her heartfelt gratitude. Don't apologise.

But why would you get into lying about the meat you have or going to Tesco and resenting it and not saying anything to her? That's how families all end up secretly hating each other IMHO! She'll just keep demanding if you let her so put your foot down with a firm hand

Actually, I didn't read the first post properly, has this all happened already? Was chickengate today?

YANBU

I have this with my MIL, although almos the opposite. I say I will bring our own (for me & DD2) & she insists not, then buys stringy cheap chicken thighs . Next time, I'll be taking our own.

Give him sandwiches.

I'd give them baby chicken (eggs !!!)

nailpolish, it's lovely that you provide food that the kids can have if you know there's an intolerance or allergy but unfortunately not everyone seems to be capable of reading a friggin label these days so i often bring a stash so my 2 won't be stuck with nothing to eat.

it's not meant to be offensive, i've just been caught out so many times that now unless i;ve brought the kids to that persons house before and they've had food they can eat i bring stuff just in case.

you wouldn't believe the amount of times i've been offered suasages as a substitute for something else for dd who's wheat intolerant!

as for the op's sil.... i had a pfb who was only allowed organic too i never once asked anyone to buy organic for me as it costs a small fortune.

Disagree away, Tippy, but yes, if you are happy for your child to go to dinner at someone else's home, then you accept the ways of that household. If you are not happy for your child to eat anything outside of your norm, then you should (politely) turn down the invitation on some pretext, and invite children to your home instead.

As it is, my sister makes her pizzas from scratch, and is a veggie, but even if she weren't, the other mother has no right to insist on what should be served at mealtimes in another woman's home. It's rude and precious in the extreme.

I would always go out of the way to cater to people who I was having to stay - I always ask if there is anything they do not eat and if they had children I would make doubly sure to ask them this.

However, I would NOT expect them to tell me that I must buy food from a specific shop especially if it was one I did not usually use. I would consider this a bit strage. I would also expect them to give me a couple of days notice rather than announce on the morning that they were due to arrive that I must buy a specific type opf food from a specific shop. In that situation I would probably say 'sorry I have already bought everything in. I will get it if we happen to be at the shops but we have X and Y planned for this am so might not have time. We do have a chicken breast in the freezer if we don't manage or maybe you can get it on your way?'

I would also take stuff myself if I was quite that pernickety about what either me or my children ate.

However although I think your sil is being unreasonable I do think that it is totally wrong to tell her that the chicken breast is organic when it's not. I think you should call her back and say that you are sorry - you thought you had time to go to Tesco but now X has come up so you can't. You do have the chicken breast in the freezer but if only organic will do she should collect it herself on the way.

I agree with themoon66. I also have teenage boys who will eat all manner of junk given the chance and there is precious little I can do about it. Quite frankly, in typical teenage fashion, it matters not how much I point out to them that the kebab they are eating probably contains all sorts of nasties, they just don't care. And the fact that I do makes them all the more determined to eat it

Those of you who think that it is the host's duty to provide the food the visiting children want on playdates- what about when:

a. you have playdates on a regular basis?

b. the visiting children only want to eat junk?

If it is rude to deny somebody the right to organic chicken from Marks, then presumably it is also rude to deny them the turkey twizzlers and crisps that is all they eat at home? So do your children give way and eat junk?

I have certainly never had any children round who complained because our food was too much like junk food. But I have had requests for "normal food" - which turned out to be jam sandwiches.

Also, what happens when the food the guests demand is more expensive than you can afford? An organic chicken from my local butcher's costs 11 quid. Though I understand that you might not want your child fed battery chickens- surely it might be polite to allow your hosts the option of some cheaper foodstuff? Or does this precious child have to eat chicken at every meal.

I used to be like that, insisting on everything being organic and getting myself in a state if it wasn't or if anyone tried to feed my PFB anything that hadn't met my high standards. I was suffering with PND and know that is why I was so bad. I am still fussy now but have lightened up a lot, I just don't ask what the kids have eaten at a party.

I wouldn't tell her it was organic. I would say you only had free range and if that won't do her son will have to have a vegetarian meal as she didn't give you enough notice.

I have to say and you might all shout at me, but if your SIL's DC has had cancer then I think you might consider organic food too. I know I would. I imagine when you child has been that ill you will try anything wholesome that may do good. I am as guilty as the next person for eating crap, but there is plenty of evidence that a crap diet does lead to health problems including cancer. Sounds like she has had a tough time and i really cannot think of anything worse than my DS getting cancer, I would try and not let it bother you too much.

Should read the threads properly, just realised that not nephew of OP that had cancer, apologies to all.

My sil also insists that everything that touches her childrens mouth is organic and cooked from scratch by my sil. A bit more relaxed with older one now (nearly 3) but she still brings her dd snacks and food with her when they come to my parents house for meals. She once asked for a banana at their house but was told she could have 1 by my dad but was told no by sil as not her banana!! (Not organic apparantly!!) Now she will occassionly allow her to have other stuff tho.

My suggestion would be to serve this child a boiled organic spud. Healthy and nourishing. And if you can buy them loose weight at the local COOP not at all expensive.

i would lie ..
how could they tell?