to think it's a bit much for SIL to demand that we rush out and buy special food for lunch for her DS?

[Youcanthaveeverything]

They are coming up for the week end to my Mum's. She just called my Mum and asked her to go and get an organic chicken breast for her DS's lunch. My Mum can only get to Co op (a little one) who don't do organic. SIL says 'DO NOT but anything from coop'.
So Mum phones me to ask me to drive to Tesco to get chicken.

AIBU to think he could have something else for lunch today?

I feel like she is VERY particular and we have to fulfil all her demands as if they were reasonable.

Trust me the standards will slip when the twins arrive, maybe slowly at first but by the time he gets to school she'll be so happy somebody else is cooking for him she won't care what it is. Hopefully.

Tell her you saw that program re:rearing of chickens and it's the free range thing that's important...

Hmmm - odd she has such strong feelings about the Co-op when AFAIK the Co-op is one of the UK?s leading supermarkets for supplying fairtrade and organic goods. Even the small Co-ops have a fantastic reputation for high quality food.
Personally I would either a) go and buy that organic chicken or b) if not available/can?t/won?t buy it, at least phone and say that you have been unable to get it and give her the option of picking some up on her journey. Much better than lying to her and her son just because she is being rather demanding and particular.

Norky - you are not alone, I tend to agree with you. The majority/ all the food in our house where possible is organic and when we stay with my mother - we bring some food with us, but she also stocks up on the things she knows we like to eat. Some of those foodstuffs are things that she doesnt eat.

When she or any other family come and stay with us, we return the favour and go out of our way to ensure the foods they want are ones we have.

I would think nothing of asking my mum to pick up something specific for us if we were coming to stay. And I am amazed that so many posters think it is so outrageous to do so. Isn't that part and parcel of being host?

I totally mislead my mother regarding the sort of food my son eats. As far as my mother is concerned, I am an over-protective, insane mother who only feeds her son organic food.

I'm not at all.

It's just that left to her own devices, my mother feeds her grandchildren all sorts of crap with artificial sweeteners, plastic white bread with marge with a scraping of plastic cheese and a big glass of diet coke. I did not have a good diet growing up. My mother is completely incapable of cooking veg, reducing all vegetables to a gloopy, sludge-like mass.

The only way of us getting something tasty to eat is to bring it ourselves, under the pretence of it being for the sake of our son. The reality is that we'd starve otherwise because she doesn't bother providing food unless you are under five.

I'm sure your mother isn't like that.

I don't think people have a problem with the chicken, it's the specific type of chicken purchased from certain shops people including me find a bit much.

Conversation this morning at SIL and brothers....

SIL - 'What can we give DS for his dinner tonight? He'll be in a strange environment, after a long journey and I don't want him to play up when he is normally a really good eater'
Brother - 'Well, what is his favourite dish? What will he eat with minimal fuss?'
SIL - 'He loves that chicken dish I make, but I dont really want to cart fresh meat in a car on a journey that should only take 2 hours, but could take more...especially on a warm day like today'
Brother - 'Not a problem, ring mum and she'll pick some chicken up for DS, she wont mind at all'
SIL - 'Are you sure?'
Brother - 'Of course not, babe - if we are heading all the way over there, the least she can do is get us some chicken'

You are being very unreasonable to think that if they are driving 2 hours to bring their son to see his family, they dont have a right to ask for certain foodstuffs. Surely, you can be open enough with family to be able to make those kinds of requests? And please dont pass the non organic chicken off as organic chicken. That is rude. And wrong.

Sounds a bit precious to me, she's entitled to feed her child whatever she likes but not to expect you all to jump though hoops.
The free range one sounds ideal, you'd be doing her a favour.
She'll soon change when she has the twins, they'll be on sausage rolls and fruit shoots in no time!

I would cater for vegetarians, allergies, medical need etc but I wouldn't go out of my way to get one special bit of chicken just because the mother is over precious. I get my chicken from a farm shop, a known and trusted supplier.If she thinks that organic chicken is vital then it is up to her to bring it with her. However she will have to lighten up on the control sometime soon, or her DC will not be able to go out in a normal way!

but dal21, you cant demand it is bought from a specific shop, that it HAS to be organic - the OP has a chick breast in the freezer - why the hell will that not do?

the SIL is insisting the MIL goes to a specific shop and the one that is convenient shop to MIL is NOT suitable

that is not on

i ws going to visit my mum for the weekend and i was packing the dds bags - dd1 has run out of socks - too small/damaged by endless mudpie making/etc so i called mum to see if she would be in town that mrning and if she could pick some p

"mum what are you up to this morning"
"just going to asda for a few things"
"could you pick up some socks for dd1 and ill repay you when i get tehre"
"no probs"

NOT

"mum what re you up to this morning"
"im busy doing housework and other stuff in the house"
"could you stop now and go into town specifically marks and spencer and get me these particular socks the are striped DO NOT get any others only these will do"

SEE there is s difference

if mum had not been going into town i would have stopped on the way to h er house myself

Damn cheek!

And what pray tell will SIL be eating? If it is chicken I would let the cat have a good lick of it first before you give it to her

She's not very well. And trust me, 'when the twins arrive', she'll be a whole damn heap less well.

Sorry. That's not terribly funny, is it?

Yanbu. But if I were you, I'd stop focusing on the chicken, and see if there's any way you can help her before she has to deal with the hormonal insanity of a multiple birth.

Good lord, what will she do when she sends him to school!

I wont eat chickem unless its free range but I would not insist someone bought it for me.I would bring my own or eat something else

I dont understand why she wont allow your mum to go to coop.sounds a bit snobby to me

Chocolate if you went to someone's house for dinner and they served chicken would you ask if it was free-range and refuse to eat it if not? Or would you just eat it out of politeness?

When we visit my inlaws we are just grateful to be served anything edible. I have long since stopped worrying wether or not it was organic/free range..just recognisable as food stuff suitable for human consumption will do. We are regularly not sure if what is on the plate is indeed chicken nevermind it's lifestyle prior to arriving on said plate

Just in case you weren't sure my mil is a terrible cook!!!Luckily she has many other qualities which make visiting her a pleasure and a very good chinese takeaway near by!

She really should have provided it herself rather than DEMAND it is provided for her. I go to my Dad's every other Sunday or so for lunch with my DH and DS - we prefer to eat organic where poss, so I always take the food with us so that it doesn't put any pressure on Dad to provide it.

I'm not sure I agree with deceiving her though - whatever her reasons and however unreasonable her behaviour and demands are, she appears to be trying to do her best for her DC and I've just realised I can't really complete this without making it sound like you buy "substandard" chicken, which was not my aim at all so I will just shut up now.

OCD fo sho

I wont eat chicken thats not free range.

I would just leave it to the side. I watch a doc a few years ago about some of the diseases that can come from factory farm chicken and one was bacteria that caused stillbirth.I used to eat it all the time and I have had a stillbirth. I will never eat it again.

As a mum of teenagers, I'm reading this thread and, for some reason, tequila slammers and a kebab keep coming to mind

She will have no control over what crap PFB shoves down his neck sooner than she thinks!

I don't know, nailpolish...she may do what one of my neice's friend's mother did to my sister when she invited the (PFB) child to tea after school. The mother phoned my sister in advance to find out what she was planning to feed her DD - my sister said she hadn't really thought about it, but it would probably be pizza or something easy. This mother informed her that this was unsuitable, and that she was to feed her organic chicken and vegetables, as that is what they ate at home!

Some people really are lacking in basic social graces...