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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's a bit much for SIL to demand that we rush out and buy special food for lunch for her DS?

116 replies

Youcanthaveeverything · 12/07/2008 10:45

They are coming up for the week end to my Mum's. She just called my Mum and asked her to go and get an organic chicken breast for her DS's lunch. My Mum can only get to Co op (a little one) who don't do organic. SIL says 'DO NOT but anything from coop'.
So Mum phones me to ask me to drive to Tesco to get chicken.

AIBU to think he could have something else for lunch today?

I feel like she is VERY particular and we have to fulfil all her demands as if they were reasonable.

OP posts:
smartiejake · 12/07/2008 11:13

Don't know why she objects to the co-op so much. They are the most environmentally friendly supermarket around.

Sorry but it is totally unreasonable to expect you to provide organic food for her sone. For one thing it is alot more expensive. OK if she chooses to feed her child like that- it's her son she can do what she wants but it's up to her to provide it and very rude to suggest you should go out of your way to provide it.

It would of course be totally different if it was for genuine health reasons such as an allergy.

liath · 12/07/2008 11:14

Blimey - what does she think will happen to him if he eats something non organic? Grow an extra head? Makes you want to slip him some blue smarties when she's not looking . Seriously though, she's going to find it increasingly difficult to keep this up in the face of kids parties, school etc so the sooner she lightens up the better IMHO.

Original poster
Youcanthaveeverything · 12/07/2008 11:14

Ok have taken free range one out of freezer and it's defrosting.

She's not going to like the fact it's only in a freezer bag though is she?? But she can't really question what I say.

She is like this about many things, it makes family get togethers quite difficult, and my brither seems to think she is not only reasonable but quite right.

OP posts:
Original poster
Youcanthaveeverything · 12/07/2008 11:16

He is only 14months though, does that make her reasonable??

OP posts:
cornsilk · 12/07/2008 11:16

was she a bridezilla as well then?

nailpolish · 12/07/2008 11:17

she will quite like the fact its in a freezer bag if you tell her tahts how they come from the organic farm shop

she will soon learn that as her child grows up and goes to school and has tea round his friends houses and gets his own opinions that she is not living in the real world

HmphreyCushion · 12/07/2008 11:18

She sounds very controlling and rude.

Like Jimjams and Hecate, I take food with me if it is difficult / not possible for the host to cater for DS2's special diet.

I would never demand that anyone provided a specific item of food.

It is unfortunate that your DB supports your SIL's bad behaviour; she sounds quite spoilt.

nailpolish · 12/07/2008 11:19

if a child is coming to my house and they have allergies, i would provide suitable lunch

i wouldnt invite them otherwise

i actually find it quite rude if i invite a child for lunch and their mother brings it with her. it offends me tbh

edam · 12/07/2008 11:20

No, age of the child has no bearing on whether demanding someone panders to your whims is unreasonable. Ordering your host to go out of their way to provide an organic chicken and issuing further orders about where they buy it is extremely rude. If she's that bothered, she can bring it herself.

Original poster
Youcanthaveeverything · 12/07/2008 11:23

She said she couldn't bring it with her as she didn't want to risk bringing it on a 2hr car juorney. is that risky??

I'm quite blase about such risks, so not a good judge of whether it's reasonable or not?

I just think if she'd asked a couple of days in advance then I wouldn't have minded at all. It's making a special trip to Tesco's when it's not convenient just for this that really bugs me.

OP posts:
micci25 · 12/07/2008 11:24

i would suggest she buys herself a cooler bag!! woolies sell them they are on sale atm!!

flack · 12/07/2008 11:25

Well, if everyone knows her ds only has organic, then surely rest of lunch on offer 4 him is already organic, so maybe the granny "should" have known to get organic chicken in, too.

Not that I personally would go get it now, tell SIL to get it herself or her ds will just have to go w/out chicken today.

edam · 12/07/2008 11:25

The she should put it in a coolbox with lots of ice. Cheeky mare. Or stop at the nearest Tescos on the way to your Mum's. Or bring flipping cheese sandwiches for her PFB!

I insist on organic meat for ds (I'm a veggie, won't allow non-organic meat across the threshold) BUT that's in my house when I'm buying the food. Wouldn't dream of suggesting someone else should do it at their house.

OurHamsterisevil · 12/07/2008 11:26

Does she not have a cool bag to put it in, or buy it on the way, closer to your Mums house

nailpolish · 12/07/2008 11:26

have you already got in the organic fruit veg milk bread etc?

what on earth is this child going to eat all weekend?

OurHamsterisevil · 12/07/2008 11:26

x post with Edam

themildmanneredjanitor · 12/07/2008 11:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flack · 12/07/2008 11:28

To avoid 2 hrs in car, Why can't SIL pick up the chicken when she rolls into town, at the Tesco local to your mum that you would go too??

Oh let me guess, because her ds is "too much" to handle in a supermarket...?

She can blardy go get it after dumping the boy at his gran's, then...

coastalmum · 12/07/2008 11:33

My dc2 has special diet (dairy free/low fructose). I always give friends & family the choice of whether I bring food for him or not.

Skribble · 12/07/2008 11:34

Lets remember allergies (actual real ones) are different to intollerances and mear whims

branflake81 · 12/07/2008 11:39

Bloody hell - what's going to happen when he goes to school? or goes round to friends' houses for tea? or goes on a school holiday?

There is nothing wrong with trying to provide a healthy diet WHEN CIRCUMSTANCES PERMIT (ie in your own home) but there is a need for flexibility otherwise you'd never eat anything. Life is for living.

posieflump · 12/07/2008 11:41

tell her to bring a sandwich for him.
While he is eating that she can rush off to tesco if she wants to behave like a loon.
Tell your brother yuo think his wife is mad!

Original poster
Youcanthaveeverything · 12/07/2008 11:48

She usualy brings his own food so we do not have to get entirely organic food in for the weekend but felt she couldn't bring the chicken.

Even if she didn't bring the food I think I would object to buying everything organic for one weekend.

You know when some one in your familt begins to wind you up, you feel you loose perspective over whether they are a actually unreasonable, or you are just super sensitive to anything vagualy annoying they do?? I think I've reached that point with her. That's why I had to ask on here.

Last time she wouldn't allow my Mum to give him a slice of bread as 1) It wasn't organic and 2) she is worried about him becoming obese???

She has many diet restirtiond herself that we have to cater to, so it is not suprising she is like thia with her baby TBH.

But in other ways she is very nice and we want to stay close to DB and DN, who is a lovely little boy. So try to ignore such irritants throgh gritted teeth.

OP posts:
nailpolish · 12/07/2008 11:58

real life will hit her like a ton of bricks one day very soon - when he reaches playgroup stage or school

as i said, i get offended when people bring food round with them. but thats just me, im not very tolerant

aGalChangedHerName · 12/07/2008 12:00

Bet he doesn't get invited on many playdates when he's of an age to if mum is that fussy,poor wee soul