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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have had a bit of a row with another woman at work who reckons I had a hard labour because "I Wasn't doing it right"

98 replies

Notalone · 11/07/2008 21:00

She actually believes that the reason she had a 6 hour labour start to finish is because she had her breathing sorted and the reason I had a 27 hour labour is because I didn't. She also said it is not painful and I am lying about how hard I found it. Also I had to have stitches - again because I wasn't doing it right and didn't listen to the midwife whereas she did. I am afraid I kind of flipped a bit at this point and said it might have had something to do with the size of her fanjo and not bloody breathing at all

Ok. Rant over!

OP posts:

pollywobbledoodle · 12/07/2008 21:08

bl**dy hell, skribble!

Mamatastic · 12/07/2008 22:52

YANBU!!! The cheek of her! My labour lasted for 4 days, yes FOUR days so what does that make me? ....and I needed stitches. And it was bloody sore!

Did this woman give birth to a mouse?

Elasticwoman · 14/07/2008 07:52

Sumomum - when some one tells you they've had a complicated birth ending with emergency cs, it's quite hard to smile and say oh that's great. People feel they need to acknowledge you've had a difficult time. It doesn't mean they aren't pleased you've had a healthy baby.

kerrimummi · 14/07/2008 15:34

:-O for goodness sake I can't believe some silly woman would even try to say that to someone... breathing doesn'teve tsake away the pain you're just focused on doing something else. I had hyper stimulation and then had to have a caesarean but the pain I experienced killed me. I love the answer back (hahahaha!!)

Original poster

Notalone · 14/07/2008 18:04

Thank god I was right! Afterwards I actually caught myself thinking I may have been too harsh but really she is and always has been a very rude cow with opinions that are a bit odd to say the least.

BTW her "child" is 14 and she still refers to him as "my little boy".

OP posts:

pagwatch · 14/07/2008 18:13

can i just say ( if no one else has) that my labours were all shorter than 4 hours and that is not down to anything I did .
And for what it is worth it was never easy and i would have prefered longer. Each one was scarier than the last and fast labour usually means fuck all pain relief

So she is a knob but mums who have short labours don't usually 'boast' about it because a) it is pretty frickin painful going from 0 to 10 cms in a matter of minutes and b) nothing we did made it fast because nothing we tried slowed the dam thing down.

scottishmum007 · 14/07/2008 18:18

I really hate this kind of attitude. I musn't have been doing it right either after nearly 48 hrs in labour. Bad mum me!

PInkyminkyohnooo · 14/07/2008 18:38

Silly woman. I am very of your exccellent retort!

I remember one very competitive friend being disappointed her baby turned out to be an undiagnosed breech, because she had been doing everything perfectly! Naughty baby!

Well I'm a disaster area, having had two c-sections!!

susia · 14/07/2008 21:04

well I was in labour for three days and then had an emergency c section so I must have not been trying at all...

eemie · 14/07/2008 21:12

It's eemie's second law of childbirth...

people who have an easy labour always think it's because of something they did right and the rest of us are just missing a trick.

Poor saps

Pruners · 14/07/2008 21:25

Message withdrawn

lilacclaire · 14/07/2008 21:31

F*, I was 3 days in labour (stopped counting the hours), wonder what she would have said to me!
Even more interesting, I wonder what my response would have been
Saying that, couldn't hear the midwife over my screaming lol

BitTiredNow · 14/07/2008 21:33

haven't read the thread - but I would have punched her. Simialr happened to me - a 'friend' said "It wasn't as bad as you said - I guess I just deal with pain better" - Felt like saying 'that's becuase you're insensitive'. Screw her.

PInkyminkyohnooo · 14/07/2008 21:44

BitTiredNow I have a friend like that- she aparrently has a much higher pain threshold tha we mere mortals

Elasticwoman · 15/07/2008 07:37

Bittirednow - "it wasn't as bad as you said ... I just deal with pain better" - a spectacularly stupid and ignorant thing to say. As though childbirth were the same for every one.

eemie · 15/07/2008 09:39

Pruners - of course it's not true but some people talk as though it is

Kitsilano · 15/07/2008 09:53

So annoying. Ignorant and arrogant.

Kewcumber · 15/07/2008 10:00

Notalone - presumably now she has her breathing sorted she will be having any dental work done without pain relief?

bossykate · 15/07/2008 10:02

so, notalone, what did she say when you told her it was to do with the size of her fanjo then?

Jackstini · 15/07/2008 10:18

Notalone - her 'little boy' is 14? Not exactly recent memory then is it!
I must have got it wrong, only ever got to 2cm and even after 2 days induction had to have emcs - and poor dd was poo stained for a week after being in meconium so long! (20 days o/due)
She would never have come out on her own, I would have lost her if I'd relied only on bloody breathing.
What did the silly ignorant cow say after you commented on her bucket fanny then?

Pruners · 15/07/2008 15:02

Message withdrawn

Tortington · 15/07/2008 15:08

twins = 23 seconds - for both

you are all rubbish.

i win

Original poster

Notalone · 15/07/2008 18:45

Well after I mentioned the size of her fanjo she sort of spluttered a bit and then changed the subject. Serves her bloody right - she has no idea

OP posts:

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