to have had a bit of a row with another woman at work who reckons I had a hard labour because "I Wasn't doing it right"

[Notalone]

She actually believes that the reason she had a 6 hour labour start to finish is because she had her breathing sorted and the reason I had a 27 hour labour is because I didn't. She also said it is not painful and I am lying about how hard I found it. Also I had to have stitches - again because I wasn't doing it right and didn't listen to the midwife whereas she did. I am afraid I kind of flipped a bit at this point and said it might have had something to do with the size of her fanjo and not bloody breathing at all

Ok. Rant over!

PMSL at some of these retorts! Wish I could do this well in this situation!!!! And wish even more I could have seen her face when you told her she must have a bucket fanny!!!!

I think I would just have told her to Fuck off but these are so so much better! And def don't let it lie - def liking RR's style!

First labour 4h20m, second 2h30m hurt like a bitch nothing to do with me I felt I wasn't in the room, my body and the baby did everything I was so out of it with the pain.

I had stitches the first time as the baby came out too fast and with her hand by her ear.

There are so many variables in labour and birth she is just showing her ignorance.

you got the baby out didnt you?so you did it right,tell her to rude word off! sorry bit drunk!

Smug cow!!

And if she could control her breathing at all she was obviously having a very very easy labour. Breathing my arse - that's just a pile of cr*p they feed you to stop you panicking beforehand.

Catsmother: 'excrutiating pain and noises I didn't know I could make'.

Thats the phrase I've been looking for for 3.5 years to describe labour with ds1.

On a more sober note:

My grandads first wife and the twins she was trying to give birth to all died before the days of the nhs and she kept the whole street awake for several days and nights with her screams before her body gave up.

Yup, it was easy in those days with no interventions.

how terrible
and no-one could do anything at all?

Flibbryibbet - how terrified she must have been and how awful for your grandad. It makes me so cross when people like my work colleague come out with such glib ill thought out comments.

I guess from the comments on here that there are lots of us with bad breathing techniques but lovely tight fanjos lol

PS - please excuse my typing. My pc is really playing up tonight and the keyboard is stupidly slow

It would have been about 1930 and I don't know what anyone could have done. I wondered if the lower twin was transverse and everything got stuck. Its not like whoever was with her could just put a hand in and turn a baby round or pull it out.

I get a bit cross when people take it for granted now that babies are born safely, go on about unecessary intervention, and forget that there are still a lot of people alive who will remember when women only gave birth at home and women died in childbirth.

Intervention with ds1 and a section with ds2 got me through it and my babies out alive and well.

Freebirthers make me

If it makes you feel any better, DP overheard MIL telling sil and other dil(after sil's 2nd straightforward labour) that I 'make a fuss' when having babies

But then when comparing mils grandchildren it would appear that the worse the labour for the mother, the more gorgeous and intelligent the child

It really is so very Flibbertyjibbet. DS got stuck too and had to come out with a ventouse - maybe he wouln't have come out either had it been 1930.

And at you making a fuss. For gods sake woman - were you not breathing right or something??!!

DS was born by EMCS after being induced and labouring for 16hrs. At 9cm it was discovered that he was in a difficult postion so EMCS was required.

At the time I felt like an absolute failure, which was not helped by comments like " what a shame you had to have a CS, poor you etc".

Anyway, I have dealt with those feelings and understand that the most important thing is that my beautiful DS is alive and well.

My SIL has just recently given birth naturally to a lovely DD, however, her comments and my MIL's about my apparent failings as a mother are so insenstive and show, IMO complete ignorance. Similary to the comments echoed on this thread I have been told that it was my choice to have a EMCS, if I had not opted for intervention then I would have delivered naturally. (DS was two weeks overdue so I was induced)

Makes me so that there appears to be this competitive element to childbirth. The most important thing is the safety of child and mother, sod the rest.

FWIW, my NCT group still compete 3 months on to decide who had the worst/longest labour - "mine lasted 43 hours", "well I had an emcs after she got stuck" "it took them 3 days to induce me and then I lost 1.5l of blood", "well my epidural didn't work so i was in pain for 10 hours without being able to move"... It's a badge of shame to have had the easiest

None of us got under 15 hours, and I saw all of them practise their breathing properly. Stupid woman! Is it very wrong of me to hope that if she has another labour that it takes 48 hours and that she needs all the pain relief going?

When I was induced it wasn't a question of opting for it, the consultant insisted and started putting the frighteners on when I was worrried about that.

I think it's very reasonable to be furious with a colleague or inlaw (or anyone else being so mean about your experience)

LOL, love your responce to her notalone.
She is rude, every birth id differant, I took 15 mins with DS1 and had stitches and 19 mins with DS2 and did not.

My mother was in labour 97 and a halh hours with me and 16 with my sister.

/kimi goes to get mirror and tape measure to heck out her own fanjo

CHECK

Notalone - you are my hero. I now have the perfect retort to all the competitive birthers out there - fanny like a bucket. Classic.

Message withdrawn

Can you imagine - Competetive birthing??

"And in the front comes Mrs Smith, who has had no drugs and is crowning at a fantastic 1 1/2 hours and Mrs Brown is a close second with two hours .. oh no..she on the gas and air.. we had hopes for her...and in comes Mrs Jones limping in last place, oh dear she's had gas and air and an epiduaral, she's sitting there reading Heat having her wee bag drained. Meet as back her after a short break to see if Mrs Brown asks for some pethidine...

11lb 7oz fecking breath that one out you flappy fannied fuckwit.

YANBU.

My first labour: strapped up to monitors in hospital from the start, lying on my back for most of the time and feeling stressed, took 10 hours to get to 3cm and then had emergency cs

My 2nd labour: determined to do things differently. Kept upright positions and moved about, listened to relaxing music, had a bath, did breathing. Took 10 hours to get to 1cm (!) before having emergency cs.

YANBU!
just ignore, ignore, ignore.
annoying though.

How old are her children? I always think people who discuss birth once their children are 6 months+ (to be generous) are weird.

(Not on MN, but in RL)