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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why the headteacher won't authorise dd being out of school, but it's fine for others.

110 replies

Boco · 09/07/2008 17:09

In our primary school there is a policy that a child can be taken out of school for holiday for a maximum of ten days a year.

I have a free ticket for a festival working for a wildlife trust doing pond dipping, arts and crafts, owl walks, wildlife walks etc. I'd be working only 3 hours a day on friday saturday and sunday - the girls could come too and join in with all the activities. I asked for the Monday off too as it's end of term, there's nothing happening much - we won't leave the festival until monday morning.

Several of my friends are going - they've asked for permission too.

The head has written me a letter saying that she will not authorise absence for my dd and if she is not in school on the friday and monday it will go on her record as an unauthorised absence.

Friends have all been granted permission.
Even the TEACHER is going to the festival on the friday!

Why us?
Have history with this head (trauma of the birthday table) Am I being paranoid or is this a bit odd.

OP posts:
Miaou · 09/07/2008 19:06

Argh boco, I saw the thread title and hoped this wasn't you!

Head is being petty and ridiculous. She would be laughed at if she took your dd's absence any further and she knows it. It's an empty gesture of a stick waving a power-kick flag.

Hulababy · 09/07/2008 19:13

Go unauthorised.

So what if you DD has a couple of days anauthorised absense on her record. It really won't affect her in the long run.

Unauthorised is actually more of a problem for the school that your DD. It is their overall record that is reported publically - so their problem.

And if you get a fine - challenge it. Make the head have to publically say why some people could go to the festival and not others.

Guadalupe · 09/07/2008 19:17

I would also say that it is a cultural event

AllFallDown · 09/07/2008 19:45

Ten days isn't your legal right; it's within the discretion of schools to grant it. If they do, great. If they don't, that's your tough cheese: it's your legal obligation to get your children (above the age of five) to school. Am always astonished by people who think it's their right to take children out as and when they want. I have sympathy for what you want to do ? sounds like it's got educational benefits ? but the head may have raised an eyebrow if you put it that you wanted your child to have "the Monday off too as it's end of term, there's nothing happening much". That's the head's call; not yours.

FabioTheWhisperingCat · 09/07/2008 19:46

AFD the relevance is the previous history.
Search 'birthday table'.
And weep.

OomphreyCushion · 09/07/2008 19:48

What Hulababy said.

Swedes · 09/07/2008 19:54

I would write to her again and tell her that perhaps she was confused about the nature of the trip especially as she had already given permission to another child for the same trip. Be polite and give her a chance to revise her permission. If she still says no, take you daughter out anyway. She will look ridiculous for her inconsistent leadership if she dared take it further.

I guarantee she will say yes if you phrase it like a creep.

Fizzylemonade · 09/07/2008 19:55

Can someone be extra kind and post a link for the "birthday table" pretty please [hopeful emoticon]

Original poster
Boco · 09/07/2008 20:01

But allfalldown that'd be fine if she was consistent and said no to everyone - we're going in a group with several other children - the others have all been given permission, only my dd hasn't.

I'm afraid birthday table threads deleted as it made me totally identifiable and once the table was banished, so were threads, but have them all saved for if anyone else ever in similar situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
Boco · 09/07/2008 20:15

I am going to play it like a CREEP!

OP posts:
Chocolatemousse · 09/07/2008 20:22

I'm with Franny. She's a nutter and there will be no come back from this, I'm quite sure.

Original poster
Boco · 09/07/2008 20:28

She is a nutter, which is why I'm worried about comeback, she's obviously quite vindictive. I suppose I need to find out exactly what she can do.

OP posts:
littleducks · 09/07/2008 20:30

I wouldnt make an issue of it, she wants to piss you off, dont let her get the satisfaction of seeeing it bothers you.

I would send her in with a note stating:
Boco dd will be absent on as she will be attending

Yours
Boco

Swedes · 09/07/2008 20:59

Much better to give her a get-out clause. She is your children's headteacher after all. All out war won't do anyone any favours. Ask again. Politely. Make it sound as though you didn't make the purpose of the absence clear. Say you will be joining X (child and their parent(s)) who was given permission. It leaves her nowhere to go but say yes.

justabout · 09/07/2008 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justabout · 09/07/2008 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleBella · 09/07/2008 21:23

I have no idea what the birthday table is about, but if she does take it further, raise merry hell about victimisation.

Because that's what it would be, if you really believe that the only reason she is refusing you and threatening you with the education officer is because of some past history which she should have been professional enough to get over.

Original poster
Boco · 09/07/2008 21:24

I wish there was a small band of renegade mumsnetters who would dress for battle and come with me.

OP posts:
Rachmumoftwo · 09/07/2008 21:27

Unauthorised absences look bad on the schhol and the head, so I bet she is calling your bluff. Ask again, mentioning that you are going to the same thing as the others. Ask why they were told yes and you were refused, then threaten to appeal her decision to the LA.

Swedes · 09/07/2008 21:32

Boco - I'm at the front on the right

Quattrocento · 09/07/2008 21:32

Out of synch with the thread here but I don't believe that parents should take their children out of school for holidays or festivals or whatever. I think it sends the wrong message to the children. I read somewhere that as a nation we throw more sickies (ie fake sick days) than any other country in Europe. We think this is okay, apparently. Do we think this is okay because parents condoned unauthorised absences when we were small?

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo · 09/07/2008 21:32

I'm ready if you need me.

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo · 09/07/2008 21:32

I'm ready if you need me.

cheeset · 09/07/2008 21:33

Did someone sound the Bugle

Where is she

Just ignore her, I would. In fact, I looked at your profile to check if you lived in my neck of the woods. I too have a similar head at my dd's school.

abbierhodes · 09/07/2008 21:38

Hi, I'm a teacher and hopefully can clarify a few points. Firstly, authorised absence can look worse than unauthorised for a school, as if their attendance figures are a problem they can't be seen to be condoning them. Secondly, if you have had one lot of holiday, they won't give you another, no matter how long you've had. 10 days is a maximum, not an entitlement.
Having said all that, just take her! Education social worker can't touch you unless you persistently truant...kids at our school have to get down to around 60% attendance before anyone is interested. You will not get fined. If you want to,then say she is ill.No one can do anything/dispute this.However, I'd just reply to let her know you will be going despite her decision, and that you feel the festival has educational value. Ask for all correspondance regarding this to be kept in your daughter's file, and keep copies yourself. If they're allowing a member of staff to go, they can't dispute the eduactional value of it.

Can you explain the birthday table thing? I'm intrigued!!