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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why the headteacher won't authorise dd being out of school, but it's fine for others.

110 replies

Boco · 09/07/2008 17:09

In our primary school there is a policy that a child can be taken out of school for holiday for a maximum of ten days a year.

I have a free ticket for a festival working for a wildlife trust doing pond dipping, arts and crafts, owl walks, wildlife walks etc. I'd be working only 3 hours a day on friday saturday and sunday - the girls could come too and join in with all the activities. I asked for the Monday off too as it's end of term, there's nothing happening much - we won't leave the festival until monday morning.

Several of my friends are going - they've asked for permission too.

The head has written me a letter saying that she will not authorise absence for my dd and if she is not in school on the friday and monday it will go on her record as an unauthorised absence.

Friends have all been granted permission.
Even the TEACHER is going to the festival on the friday!

Why us?
Have history with this head (trauma of the birthday table) Am I being paranoid or is this a bit odd.

OP posts:
nametaken · 09/07/2008 17:45

YANBU - if there is going to be a rule set then that rule has to be the same for everybody. Not one rule for one group of people and a different rule for others.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 09/07/2008 17:47

Yes they can LB. Fixed penalty between £50 and £100. They can (if they wish) prosecute if you don't pay.

Original poster
Boco · 09/07/2008 17:50

I just phone my friend who I know has a ticket and asked if he got permission to take his two children out of school and he said yes - the head said that was absolutely fine! AND - he's taking them out for 3 days, not 2!!

IT'S NOT FAIR!

OP posts:
Ecmo · 09/07/2008 17:51

My dd has gone to Spain for 2 weeks. She was refused permission and it is all going down as unauthorised absence. she has never had time off before.

Original poster
Boco · 09/07/2008 18:12

Did they mention anything to do with fines to you? How were they about it?

OP posts:
MsDemeanor · 09/07/2008 18:14

YOu could reply saying 'oh dear, never mind, see you Tuesday'. I would. But I'm like that, and it gets me into trouble

RusselBrussel · 09/07/2008 18:19

Hang on, saggars may be onto something here: you are allowed up to 10 sessions, a session being half a day. So if little Boco has had 5 days that is 10 sessions, no?

Sorry about all the bold, it is my newfound skill and I love showing it off

Boco if I were you I would take dd out anyway. With a letter to the head stating the amount you do, that others have been given permission, that not much happens at hte end of school, and most importantly where you are going and what dd will gain from this (really play up the learning side of this festival)

But your head teacher really is a cowbag isn't she??

SorenLorensen · 09/07/2008 18:20

It's that bloody birthday table, isn't it? She really shouldn't be able to get away with this horrendously unprofessional behaviour but, tbh, if you can't face another protracted battle, I would just call your dd in sick on the Monday morning - she'll know you're lying but what can she do about it? Tell me again why you can't take a contract out on the evil cow change schools?

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 09/07/2008 18:22

Some schools/councils allow 10 days. Some allow 10 sessions (5 days). I think 10 sessions is the minimum they can fine for.

Twiglett · 09/07/2008 18:23

at our school no absences are ever authorised (unless funerals)

so what? it just goes against the school on their attendance record

Ecmo · 09/07/2008 18:24

the school didn't mention fines. Her teacher was really nice about it. Apparently the school can't actually fine you it is down to the local education authority.
I thought the school might phone on monday to see where she was but they haven't. I was and still am such a goody goody I feel like a naughty schoolgirl and I jump every time the phone rings.
She'd better be having a good time!

Original poster
Boco · 09/07/2008 18:27

Am starting to feel braver about just taking her out, and putting in writing why.

It was bit about being reported to the educational welfare officer that freaked me out - like she's trying to make me out to be negligent and she's getting all shitty and threatening, where one of the people going hasn't even done a form, she just waved her hand and said that'd be absolutely fine!

The not changing schools thing is unfortunately because I live in a small village and cannot yet drive, and have no car. Am trapped.

OP posts:
mumeeee · 09/07/2008 18:28

You are allowed 10 days not 10 sessions. So that is 30 sessions. I would ask the head why your daughter has not been given permission to go when other children have been.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 09/07/2008 18:30

mumeeee - not all schools/councils allow the same number of absences for holiday. Some don't allow any.

shatteredmumsrus · 09/07/2008 18:38

Go anyway sod her! Its end of term, its an educational trip and so what if it goes down as unauthorised. Doesnt mean anything

Twiglett · 09/07/2008 18:39

You're not going to Dorset are you Boco

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 09/07/2008 18:40

The birthday table head is definitely the looniest loon in charge of a primary school.

FrannyandZooey · 09/07/2008 18:42

sending a note saying

C U Next Tuesday

must be a little bit tempting, at any rate

Guadalupe · 09/07/2008 18:44

Your head sounds like she's on a power trip to me. So what if she does report you to the education welfare officer, what do you really think they are going to say?

They deal with children who attend 50 days of school a year, parents who make no effort to send their children to school at all and are suffering educationally because of it as they are not being taught anything at home.

Your daughter attends school diligently all year. You have just had a shitty time when your youngest child caught a serious illness when you went away DURING HALF TERM. You are having a break away as a family. It has come to your attention that other people have been granted permission for the same break.

I would tell the headmistress that in your opinion the break will be good for the family and your dd and that you are perfectly happy to discuss this with the education welfare officer if she wishes to report you. Your daughter's educational welfare is not at risk.

Guadalupe · 09/07/2008 18:46

the teacher is going?

and you are working there?

She hasn't got a leg to stand on, really, you are going and that is that.

RubyRioja · 09/07/2008 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shoshe · 09/07/2008 18:51

Boco, I child I know has repeated unauthorised absents, in fact her attendance is only 83%, Mother hasn't even been reported, and this is at Secondary School.

When I queried, I was told it has to fall below 80%.

Original poster
Boco · 09/07/2008 19:01

DD has had ONE day off sick since last December!

Ok this is helping - am going to say everything guadalupe said.

WISH i could just say C U Next Tuesday though

Twig no, fraid not - Latitude in Suffolk.

OP posts:
RubyRioja · 09/07/2008 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twelvelegs · 09/07/2008 19:05

Go unauthorised, my ds had 13 days off to visit his gps in China as i felt the educational gain would be greater there than in school. What's the worst that can happen?