Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people NOT to buy things for DS2 that I've explicitly asked them not to???

89 replies

VictorianSqualor · 09/07/2008 12:25

DS2 is DP's first child, and his parents first grandchild.
I get it, he is their PFB/PFGB, and as such I make allowances.
I think I'm a pretty good daughter in law, I always make the effort to go and see them, make sure DP puts effort into their relationships, and overall, I butt out of their relationships with him and my children.
As PiL's go, they're great, Dp's dad makes some cringeworthy comments sometimes but who doesn't? His mum never ever interferes and would help at the drop of a hat.
This isn't a MiL bashing, I like her, a lot.

But I really hate Winnie-the-Pooh. (There is a reason behind it, someone very hurtful as I was growing up was obsessed, so not nice connotations for me)

When I was pg, MiL and I went into toys 'r' us and I was buying baby bits, didn't know the sex so could only buy cream, and she pointed out the WTP stuff. I told her how much I hated him, and had never dressed my other two in it for this reason. She told me she had already bought some WTP stuff so I said, Ok, we'll use it, thanks very much, don't want to seem ungrateful, she said not to worry in future she won't buy it.

When I'm in hospital DP's Dad looked after the older DC's and when they came to visit me DD told me FiL has bought baby some WTP stuff and she told him I didn't like WTP. When he gave me it he said 'I know you don't like WTP but I do so I bought it' jokingly. Rather than say anything I just smiled, and said to DP that as he may have bought it before he knew I wouldn't mention it and just dressed the baby in it if we went to their house.

MiL's sister also bought all WTP as presents. Again, gave benefit of the doubt, her DC's are the same age as my eldest two and she likes WTP, so no reason why she wouldn't buy it if she didn't know.

Now they ALL know I really don't like it.

DP comes back from work the other day and had popped into his mums on the way home. There were clothes there apparently from his Dad. I think it's really lovely the way they buy the stuff for DS2 and am grateful they care, but it was winnie the fucking pooh, again!

After the comment dp's dad had made I wasn't impressed, seemed like a 'I don't care what you like, I'm buying my grandson whatever'. So DP calls his mum about something else, and just drops into conversation about the WTP thing and the comment his Dad had made. Turns out she bought it not his Dad, and I know she knew how much I disliked it. If I had a girl and said I really hate pink can you buy purple, she would, so why can't they go into the mothercare superstore (where they shop) and get one of the other 50 outfits in there for DS2 that aren't wtp???

I know it seems ridiculous, but IMO it's not about WTP anymore, more the lack of consideration. One thing I ask them not to buy and they keep on buying it.

AIBU

OP posts:
MsDemeanor · 09/07/2008 13:47

if they buy anything that isn't WTP go crazily overboard saying 'Oh he looks SO gorgeous in that green t-shirt. He's in it all the time. Everyone says how much it suits him. I told them that you have an real eye for plain things in bright colours that look great."

MsDemeanor · 09/07/2008 13:49

Tell them that you wish you could afford Gap. No WTP there.

ScottishMummy · 09/07/2008 13:50

big up any other brand and hopefully she will get the hint!

Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 09/07/2008 13:50

MsDemeanor, I do respect her, completely.
There are only three things I refuse to compromise on breastfeeding, weaning and WTP.

When we were last at her house my DC's asked for a biscuit, I told them they weren't allowed one because they were having dinner when we got home. She ignored what I said and gave them 'just the one' (just the one penguin, not a little biscuit).
I didn't say a word, just brushed it of and though 'fuck it, it's just a biscuit, why worry'.

OP posts:
differentID · 09/07/2008 13:51

Is there anything you know that they don't like at all? If so, go out and buy something in that brand/style and give it to them. When they complain or even comment about it, tell them more will come if they don't stop with the damn Winnie the Shit stuff.

MsDemeanor · 09/07/2008 13:53

I wasn't really aiming the respect thing at you VS, just thinking out loud really as the R word usually crops up a lot on this sort of thread!
I wouldn't dress my children in Disney WTP stuff either!

plantsitter · 09/07/2008 13:55

Could you tell her that WTP reminds you of something really horrible that you'd rather not think about? Obviously she'll be dying of curiosity, but at the moment she probably just thinks you're being a bit precious. She'll be seeing things and thinking that although you don't like WTP you'd have to like that sleepsuit/tshirt/whatever because it's so cute. If you tell her she might realise it's not just a taste clash but a real objection.

plantsitter · 09/07/2008 13:55

Could you tell her that WTP reminds you of something really horrible that you'd rather not think about? Obviously she'll be dying of curiosity, but at the moment she probably just thinks you're being a bit precious. She'll be seeing things and thinking that although you don't like WTP you'd have to like that sleepsuit/tshirt/whatever because it's so cute. If you tell her she might realise it's not just a taste clash but a real objection.

BexieID · 09/07/2008 13:57

I know my PIL have got Tom WTP bedding for when he goes into a single bed. Unless we have another child, he'll be in his cotbed until he's outgrown it! And probably won't want WTP bedding by then.

I would be annoyed if someone got something for Tom I didn't want him having.

TheHedgeWitch · 09/07/2008 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 09/07/2008 16:40

You agree then THW?

OP posts:
traceybath · 09/07/2008 16:48

Could you make it more general, eg, my mil (who is nice) knows i don't like slogans/logos/cartoons on my children's clothes.

She therefore never buys them any clothes as i've scared her too much and instead puts cash in an envelope for shoes.

I used to just put the stuff out for recycling/charity that she used to buy. I think she sort of got the message when i never dressed them in anything she bought.

Gosh i sound really mean - i'm not but think its hard to find nice clothes for boys particularly that aren't covered in stupid cartoon characters/slogans.

So you are definitely not being unreasonable.

TheHedgeWitch · 09/07/2008 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Flashman · 09/07/2008 16:58

God How old are you?? You dislike WTP, but I thought it should be what your children like. I hate Dora - but my neice Loves it - and I will get her Dora stuff and sit and watch it with her!!

Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 09/07/2008 16:59

Well, the other stuff he has been bought I have had no issue with, things with fire engines or cars or dinosaurs or robots etc on. I don't mind them at all.
I let DS1 choose most of his own clothes so we end up with disney cars, dinosaurs, thomas the tank etc, so she knows it's not logos in general.
DP is going to call her later.

OP posts:
Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 09/07/2008 17:01

Well flashman, I don't think wearing a sling makes someone look pussywhipped but lets agree to disagree.

Maybe if you read the whole thread, you'd see why I hate it.

AND my children don't like it, they have never asked me for it (Except DD winding me up) so what's the problem?

DS2 is 12 weeks old, of course he is going to wear what I want to put on hi, not what HE wants.

OP posts:
Flashman · 09/07/2008 17:20

I did read it - and on the issue of slings I am sort of coming round - many people put such good reasons.

Is it just Disney Winnie the Pooh then?

God you would so hate the room I have just kitted out - I am so proud of it - have a look at my pics!

Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 09/07/2008 17:23

HA, I know where to send the clothes if she doesn't stop buying them then!

I just really don't like winnie the pooh. I've even said that I'm not too fussed about tigger or eeyore if she is that desperate to buy A.A.Milne stuff, but it's always WTP himself.

OP posts:
DarthVader · 09/07/2008 17:25

"she's a great MiL in every other way except her WTP obsession"...so surely you can forgive her the WTP obsession?

It is only one thing after all and it could be a lot worse than that.

Flashman · 09/07/2008 17:26

I have also brought many soft cuddly toys from Disney store based on WTP I will be so gutted if DC does not like Winnie the Pooh stuff

Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 09/07/2008 17:44

They like what you like for the first few years.

OP posts:
Twelvelegs · 09/07/2008 19:08

Flashman, your last two posts really say it all. Noone misses out by the bastardisation of WTP found in he Disney store and no child needs lots of cuddly toys, ewwww can't think of anything worse except if the bedroom wall is full of WTP stickers too.

MsHighwater · 09/07/2008 20:47

Your dislike of WTP isn't really rational, though, is it? I understand that your feelings about WTP are linked to your feelings about the person who hurt you but there's nothing inherently harmful about WTP. People have mentioned not liking Bratz but that's a whole other argument.

Rationally, WTP is cute and kids tend to like it - not just because their parents like it but because it is basically likeable. Is it too much to ask, for your kid's sake, that you replace the negative associations (nasty person liked WTP) with positive ones (your child likes WTP)?

ChickenBurger · 09/07/2008 20:50

Mrs Highwater, I said something along the same lines and got no response.

I think the OP just wants people to agree with her, not tell her she is BU.

cheeset · 09/07/2008 21:14

I hate WTP! I dislike all branded stuff with tacky plastic logos.

I've been in this kind of situation with my MIL too. Bless her, but she keeps buying my dd clothes that are too small for her. I tell her everytime what her age is and they are too small and she says ' Oh well, she'll get some wear out of it' ie for a particular season.

NOW I am eternally grateful to her for generously buying my dd clothes but what a waste of money!

One wash and a tumble dry and they already look a bit tight fitting on her.

Where's the logic?