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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to shave a 4 year old girls head because 'she keeps getting nits' is just wrong?

83 replies

LolaTheShowgirl · 05/07/2008 21:26

Especially when this little girl is in reception and is aware that all the other girls have beautiful long hair?

OP posts:
meemar · 05/07/2008 21:38

why is shaved wrong? Unusual yes, but if the child was happy why would it be wrong?

Original poster
LolaTheShowgirl · 05/07/2008 21:38

The mother is known as a 'bad mother' anyway although I refrain from commenting as we don't really know the whole story. Not bad as in she neglects the children but more she lets them get away with beating other children up and thinks nothing of telling big lies infront of her children.

OP posts:
stripeymama · 05/07/2008 21:39

Should say though, thats because she likes having long hair. Were she to request a skinhead I'd probably oblige.

Original poster
LolaTheShowgirl · 05/07/2008 21:40

The child wasn't happy with it. It was shaved and not just cut. Shaved right to the bone.

OP posts:
bluewolf · 05/07/2008 21:40

its a bit bloody drastic though and not like the dd asked for it. In which case it would be daring, cool and not wrong.

fawkeoff · 05/07/2008 21:40

my EXdp's sister recently did this to 2 of her girls, and honestly i was appauled, one is 6 and the other is 8.........if i had to buy treatment every week and sit every night going through my daughters hair i would.....i think it is cruel and unnecessary

Original poster
LolaTheShowgirl · 05/07/2008 21:43

southeastastra, did you miss me? Now I don't work with children at all I've found myself going off mumsnet which is quite sad really because I used to love it but i'm usually at work til late and then when I get in it's too late to be on here!

OP posts:
shreddies · 05/07/2008 21:43

Poor poor thing

colditz · 05/07/2008 21:43

Would you deal with the blistered weals forming on their head though, like they did on my sisters? That's what constant combing and treatment did to her scalp.

ivykaty44 · 05/07/2008 21:44

Why do you think woman and men have such a problem when they have chemo - your hair is your crowning glory and to shave the hair of is really making you stand out from the crowd.

Hair is a big deal - just look at some of the psots about hair going wrong at the salon. A little girl will not feel any different and if its not what she wanted may effect her self esteem.

What a shame

Yes heacte it is what they did years ago, I can remember seeing a program on tv and they shaved all the girls and boys hair. I never had my hair cut for years, it worried me cos I loved my long hair.

There is a lot of ignorance about nits.

onepieceoflollipop · 05/07/2008 21:44

Maybe I live a sheltered life but most primary school aged girls that I know would not choose to have their head shaved. Short hairstyle maybe, but not shaved.

The op has confirmed that in this case the child was unhappy. She has been singled out by her mother, and (only imo obviously) the mother is saying in effect that she doesn't want to take the time or effort to deal with a potential lice problem using more conventional methods.

fishie · 05/07/2008 21:48

i see lots of asian children who have shaven heads and they are fine. but i do remember a girl in my class (we must have been about 6) having her hair chopped off because of nits and she was upset. my mum told me it was an old fashioned way of dealing with it and that was 30+ years ago!

shreddies · 05/07/2008 21:51

I volunteered in an orphanage in India (years and years ago) where the kids heads were shaved and dabbed with iodine (not sure why). I cannot picture a small girl with a shaved head amongst her lelli kelli-ed friends. It's humiliating and wrong.

fin42 · 05/07/2008 21:53

I had my hair cut short, not even shaved because of nits when I was around 5 or 6 (nearly 40 years ago) I still remember that day now and my heart goes out to the little girl.

bubblerock · 05/07/2008 22:04

A friend of a friends daughter had her head shaved at age 10 because her nits hadn't been treated and had infected her scalp - the girl now has hair and nits (age 15)

zaphod · 05/07/2008 22:04

I remember my head being RAW from scratching at the back, because of repeated infestations. I wish my mother had shaved my head. In the end, she brought me to a doctor who suggested she use DDT on me and all the bedding. But hey, it worked.....

soopermum1 · 05/07/2008 22:18

considering it from a 4 year old girl's perspective, i doubt very much that she would have seen the beauty in a shaved head. i knew an adult woman once with afro hair that she wore almost at a shaved length and she looked absolutely stunning, but can't imagine a 4 year old would appreciate it or see the beauty in it, even if she did carry it off.

misdee · 05/07/2008 22:26

i have 3 girls.

and sometimes it so tempting to get the clippers out when i am dealing with another infestation.

dd1+2 have requested very short hair for next term. its currently halfway down their backs. I wouldnt do it unless they agreed, but am looking forward to getting their hair cut short.

Divastrop · 05/07/2008 22:38

thats awful,and bloody lazy.

i can recall the frustration of repeated infestations with dd1,and none of the treatments worked,just drugged the little feckers up a bit.

we havent had a problem with them here since i got a nitty-gritty comb in summer 2006.i cleared dd1's hair once and for all and just check the dds' hair once a week now and there has been nothing

i shave the dss' hair though,going to the barbers for a poncey chav cut is a treat for ds2,ds1 has hair like wire which only looks right shaved anyway.

ivykaty44 · 06/07/2008 12:46

Olive oil - they found it worked on fish lice and also on nits that infest human head hair. The oil gets into the breathing system of the nit and effectivley puts them to sleep - not kill them. Then after a few hours you comb the hair and the nits come out - as they are asleep they cant run away. This is why the oil is better than the conditioner method.

After combing the hair you wash the hair - leaves hair and scalp in wonderful condition - and dry the hair.

then if the hair is long enough get hair straightner and straighten the hair, section by section.

The heat from the hair straightners is not good for the eggs the nits have laid and will normally kill the eggs.

Do this once a week for three weeks. In between washes check with the conditioner and comb method.

If there is an infestation at school, tie the hair back if long and use a little oil on the head as a preventative.

It works, it is not a chemial that will hurt or irritate a childs scalp and it is wonderful for the scalp and hair. Plus a large bottle of Olive Oil is rather cheaper than a chemical alternative.

TheProvincialLady · 06/07/2008 12:51

My cousin did this to her twin daughters at about the same age. The school reported her to SS, who paid a visit and told her in no uncertain terms that it is unacceptable. I agree with them.

ivykaty44 · 06/07/2008 12:59

It is abuse, abet a different kind of abuse but really not nice

lucyellensmum · 06/07/2008 13:00

well i wouldn't personally shave my little girls head aged four, but i hardly think its a case for social services to intervene. Haven't they got anything better to do with their time, like, maybe saving one of those poor neglected children left to die by their parents

TrinityRhino · 06/07/2008 13:08

I shaved dd2s hair to the bone and kept it that way for 5 months
I cried about it all the time
we got lots of sympathetic looks
she didn't seem to care at all(she was just coming 3)
I hated it and felt awful

misdee · 06/07/2008 13:10

trinity wasnt she hair pulling?

i think my dd's are having cool bobs' or cropped hair for next term.

my aunt shaved her dd's heads when they were younger, one of them looked like a sweet little pixie.