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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To laugh secretly inside my head about my nephews awful teeth???

125 replies

Twinkie1 · 05/07/2008 15:33

Beacuse after 3 years of being told by my BIL & SIL that I am a bad mum for giving my kids very dilute sugar free juice and I should be feeding them pure juice sraight out a carton I have 2 kids with lovely white straight decay free teeth and her son has just been written off by the dentist in regards to his milk teeth!

I love it when their overly obsessive parenting techniques come along and bite their arses!

OP posts:

halogen · 05/07/2008 19:12

I had awful awful milk teeth, loads of fillings, lots had to be taken out, general vileness. I had barely any sugar, very little juice and a v healthy diet as a child. As a teenager, I started ingesting milk gums and cherry drops in industrial quantities and I have wonderful teeth now (one small filling at 39). It's genetics.

I would never give my child artificial sweeteners. I'd rather she had bad teeth than the kinds of awful ailments that can potentially be caused by artificial sweeteners.

And yes, YABU. And I'm pretty much a newbie and your post would put me off MN much more than people telling you that laughing at a child with bad teeth is nasty.

expatinscotland · 05/07/2008 19:16

sugar-free is definitely NOT a good option if it's full of artificial sweetners.

these are not good for hte body, particularly children.

some, like aspartame, are even banned in some countries, with good reason.

avoid like the plague!

just use good judgement - everything in moderation - and practice good oral hygeine.

KatieDD · 05/07/2008 19:21

My child has had a tooth removed and I am a perfect parent, it can happen to the best of us.

greenelizabeth · 05/07/2008 19:22

Also, bacteria can still feed on sorbitol, which is one of the non-sugar sweeteners that they bung into crap. So what's the point!?!?

flubdub · 05/07/2008 19:22

in fact, most cordials have sweeteners in, sugar free or not!
we only buy high juice, as this doesnt.

MaryAnnSingleton · 05/07/2008 20:13

does anyone else give juice/cordial with a straw ? I've always done this with ds..think he is lucky to have decent teeth anyway and he has always been really good at cleaning them

chutneymary · 05/07/2008 20:25

It's water all the way in this house, with the odd bit of dilute juice as a treat (we like to push the boat out )

Your BIL and SIL sound vile, but I'm afraid you don't sound very pleasant either. Poor child, having dreadful teeth can have such a bad effect on the self confidence. I have strong but not straight teeth and did not have them sorted til I was 30. Best thing I ever did - honestly. Self confidence improved a hundred fold, much happier, lost weight etc.

One of my DDs has the most beautiful teeth, but the other has badly stained teeth caused by me taking strong ABs when pg. I hope her adult teeth aren't as bad. And I hope no one would be so cruel as to laugh at her, secretly or otherwise, whatever they thought of my mummying prowess.

I'm glad you're not my aunt.

minouminou · 05/07/2008 20:41

wow
get a life and get a grip....in any order, but do get them, eh?

tiredemma · 05/07/2008 20:44

my handsome, beautiful Ds1 has a condition called enamel hypoplasia which basically means his second teeth will all come through discoloured.

OP sounds like a vile creature

ScottishMummy · 05/07/2008 20:51

never mind recrimination biting then on the arse -you are talkinh out of yours.

Twinkie1 you are some ticket taking pleasure from a child's tooth decay.

how toxic and twisted are you to derive satisfaction from BIL and child's anxiety. really wh rattled your cage so strongly that you feel so awful towards them

minouminou · 05/07/2008 20:52

what can be done about it?

minouminou · 05/07/2008 20:52

that was directed at tiredemma, btw

FioFio · 05/07/2008 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bandgeek · 05/07/2008 21:00

My DS had to have fillings on his incisors when he was 2 - I felt such a terrible mum but the dentist told me it was probably down to how his teeth had developed when he was still in the womb.

Not nice to laugh at a child's misfortune.

luckylady74 · 05/07/2008 21:02

I agree with prufrock

Rachmumoftwo · 05/07/2008 21:24

The OP got my back up tbh. I have 2 children, one of whom has beautiful pearly whites, the other has a condition which has caused her teeth to form without much enamel to protect them. She is very prone to cavities. I have always avoided juice in bottles, too many sweets, been a bit obsessive about brushing etc. This doesn't give anyone the right to be smug about my poor daughter's teeth at all.
I often wonder why some people take pleasure in the misfortune of others, especially that of children.

Shitemum · 05/07/2008 21:32

Haven't read whole thread but just wanted to say that having crap milk/teeth can be down to genetics rather than what your DCs eat. Although obviously the better their diet the better their chanches of having decent teeth are.
My 4yo nephew has had a couple of milk teeth removed because they were completely rotten.
My DDs eat a very similar diet and have pretty good teeth so far. I think they have their South American father's genes to thank for that.

OP - by all means laugh up your sleeve at your in-laws parenting but you picked a pretty shabby example to snurk about IMO. Hope your nephew's permanent teeth come in good and strong and he bites you on the bum.

tiredemma · 05/07/2008 21:40

minouminou- dont really know to be honest, we have our next appt on monday to get more info.

Hope that there is something that we can do though

Kelix · 05/07/2008 22:00

BIL sounds like an arse and I'm sure it feels good to believe that they arnt the perfect parents they make themselves out to be (noboby is IMO). Yeah its a little nasty but as long as these thoughts are only in your head (& on MN) I cant see any harm will be done. Sometimes we think nasty things, we are human!

Clary · 05/07/2008 22:03

Nice OP.

I took care with all my DCs' teeth - no juice in bottle, brushing twice a day, limited sweet stuff etc.

DS1 has awful teeth bless him, esp his baby molars. The dentist says it's no-one's fault, just how it is for him.

The other two have fine teeth.

Twinkie, I really hope yr children don't suffer in future from having sugar-free stuff full of dodgy sweeteners then.

Your BIL doesn't sound very nice but it's never nice to laugh at or be mean to a child imo. And even if you are laughing at hi parents, it sounded like it was at hom tbh.

Doobydoo · 05/07/2008 22:08

YABU.It is not your nephews fault.My ds1 had terrible problems with his teeth and had to have a GA,which was frightening for us all.So yes I think you are being fairly horrid

Doobydoo · 05/07/2008 22:09

But your BIL does sound an arse!

CasperGhost · 05/07/2008 22:11

funny, not ...
DD drank milk or water only, never had a bottle, never ate sweeties, ate a very good diet and I was religious with cleaning her teeth. Was never ill, so no medicines, and had awful baby teeth, lots were pulled out tbh and lots of fillings. New teeth are beautiful.
DS extremly prem, lots of medicines, high fat diet, has cp has trouble swallowing, so he has been alowed to eat what he likes, he had a bottle for a long time. his teeth are perfect, and he has never had any fillings.
Go figure.

peanutbutterkid · 06/07/2008 17:42

No one has the right to laugh at consequences that affect a child? So no one should make fun of Tony Blair because Leo might read those comments? No one can every make fun of any adult's misfortune in case their little child hears about the criticism & their self-esteem is affected?

No, no, no, that argument doesn't hold water...

lucyellensmum · 06/07/2008 18:16

YABVU and unkind. It is highly likely that there is some physical reason for his milkteeth being in such a bad way and quite possible that this will affect his adult teeth - but great, you laugh away - petty and unkind

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