To think that if you are having your child baptised during a Communion service you should take your child up to be blessed?

[Klio]

I would like to make it clear that I am not expecting people who have their child baptised to attend church on a regular basis but........ in the last six weeks five of our Sunday morning Communion services have included a Baptism and in every case not a single member of the Baptismal party (about half the congregation) have gone forward for either Communion or a blessing, even the parents of the child being baptised have not taken the child forward for a blessing.

In every case the priest has made a general invitation to everyone to come forward for Communion/blessing, although I know that the importance of the blessing is explained to parents as part of the baptismal preparation course parents undertake. Also in the last baptism one of the baptismal party actually made a phone call during Communion to tell someone that "they're just doing the bread and wine thing but we'll be out of here soon"

Should people who have their child baptised during a Communion service take their child up for a blessing or AIBU?

OK Reallytired, on your view you have to have 25% church attendance at the church your DCs will be christened in and get a certificate before you're allowed to have a child baptised? No wonder the church is dying in this country!

I do go to church regularly, taking DD and I will bring her up as a christian BUT I am not going to force DH or her godparents to take communion if they do not wish to do so. I would prefer DD to have godparents who are willing to make the promises in the baptism service and are very close to my family than have godparents but who may not take communion, than invite some random people from church that I don't know very well in order to satisfy someone else's idea of christianity and commitment.

Hear hear JA and littlest badger in your response to reallytired's comments regarding church attendance and "brownie points" which are totally at odds with the whole concept of baptism and the inclusive, welcoming ethos any denomination of Christian church is deemed to have at it's core.

littlest badger - I agree with you totally about not forcing anyone into taking Communion, it is a personal experience and something between the recipient and God. I suspect that we are probably much in agreement with your rationale behind choice of Godparents for your dd. When we had ds baptised we chose his godparents from our very close friends and family, not on their merits as active worshippers at their local church, but rather because of the enrichment we felt they could bring to ds' life and because we wanted them to have a special relationship with him.

I suspect reallytired you will have to acquiesce to JA when it comes to the theology of infant baptism, I feel that she really does know her stuff

Fairygirl - I think your comments and observances take us back to the whole question of baptismal preparation for parents and an attempt to make them feel more comfortable with the service as a whole, especially when they are not regular attendees and do not know the format of a service well. To be fair at our church the presiding priest does try to make a real effort to explain the service as he is going along, but it is something I have taken up with various "worthies" within the church to try and make things more accessible for visitors not matter what their reason for attending a service may be.

I don't actually sit in a pew but tend to hover in a slightly harassed way at the back of church whilst my ds (2) potters about during the service. I have got the unofficial role of welcoming latecomers, etc...... Members of the congregation, me included to make a real effort to include and encourage any visitor to go forward for Communion or a blessing, should they wish, but it the response of parents of children who have just been baptised of "why should we" that makes me sad on many levels. First that they don't seem to fully grasp the nature of the promises they have just made on behalf of their child, but also that the church (mine and many others) is not explaining the fundamental significance of infant baptism to parents.

littlestbadger - forgot to say, understand exactly why you decided not to take your dd up for a blessing! Have been in the same situation many times when ds was a baby!

To clarify, in the Roman Catholic faith you have your first holy communion usually in the school year you turn 7. It's not expected that before that age you go for a blessing, you just wait until you turn 7 and go for "real thing".

You are confirmed in the school year you turn 11, which is your last year at primary school.

The blessing thing was mostly used in our catholic school as a way of being inclusive. The non-catholic kids, therefore those not taking part in communion, would go up with their arms crossed across their chest. These would be kids over 7 that followed Judeo-christian religions but not catholic.

There may be valid reasons why an adult who is getting their child baptised does not go up for communion or a blessing. They may not feel that they are not in a state of grace - they haven't been to confession and feel they need to be absolved first of something. They themselves may be excommunicated, like my parents were as they remarried. Maybe they ate something in previous hour and are being really fussy!

But the guy making the phone call is an utter utter nob. This coming from atheist too.

I think JA is fairly clueless about infant baptism. Its more than putting a baby into a pretty dress for a naming cermony.

See this link for the promises that parents are expected to make.

www.churchsociety.org/publications/englishprayerbook/EPB_InfantBaptismSecond.htm

Look at this first promise.

"THE DUTIES OF PARENTS AND GODPARENTS

The minister invites the parent(s) and godparents to stand and says:

The child you have brought to baptism depends chiefly on you for the help and encouragement he needs. I ask therefore:

Are you yourself a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ, a member of his church and one who sincerely believes the promises of God? "

How can parents say "yes", if they never ever go to church? Contrary to popular belief its not complusory to have godparents. Our Angelican priest was quite happy for my son not have god parents.

Infant baptism is not a wishy washy thing. It requires guts and you are making quite major promises.

The Church of England does not see infant baptism as essential. Many adults are baptised. Babies who aren't baptised and are unlucky enough to die still go to Heaven. Infact I am sure that there are humanist, hindu or muslim babies in heaven. ?the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these? (Mark 10:14)

I know a lot of people who get their children baptised to get their child into blah blah Church School. I find its really sad that someone who has chosen to dedicate their child can be discriminated against.

But then I am a marverick is who is completely opposed to faith schools.

At my DD's Christening the priest invited every one to part take in the bread and wine, my uncle piped up just loud enough, i'll wait for the buffet thanks.
I do think these things can get taken a little seriously, they mean well by taking the baby to a church in the first place and if it's the first time any of them have been in years, well at least it's once rather than never.

Cryptoprocta - I have to say that I do not find an invitation in a Roman Catholic mass to receive a blessing whilst being refused the Sacrament to be inclusive at all. Indeed I find it exclusive and feel that to accept a blessing in those cirumstances would be to agree that I can be properly refused, by the will of man, participation in a gift (the Sacrament) which comes from, and sacramentally is, God. If anything the offer of a blessing to those of other denominations present simply emphasises our hostory of division and cruelty to each other and reminds those who criticise the Christian Church of how unChristian we have often been - and still often are.

shrug I'm an atheist, I think it's all rubbish.

I haven't really believed in any of it since I was about six, when I asked my parents why they didn't go up for communion. It's because they used to be married to other people. In my mom's case it was an abusive husband, in my dad's case it was his wife that had an affair and threw him out.

I totally disagree with any organised religion, all it does it cause divisions within the human race for no practical reason. I was just pointing out what the catechism says about the whole matter.