To think that if you are having your child baptised during a Communion service you should take your child up to be blessed?

[Klio]

I would like to make it clear that I am not expecting people who have their child baptised to attend church on a regular basis but........ in the last six weeks five of our Sunday morning Communion services have included a Baptism and in every case not a single member of the Baptismal party (about half the congregation) have gone forward for either Communion or a blessing, even the parents of the child being baptised have not taken the child forward for a blessing.

In every case the priest has made a general invitation to everyone to come forward for Communion/blessing, although I know that the importance of the blessing is explained to parents as part of the baptismal preparation course parents undertake. Also in the last baptism one of the baptismal party actually made a phone call during Communion to tell someone that "they're just doing the bread and wine thing but we'll be out of here soon"

Should people who have their child baptised during a Communion service take their child up for a blessing or AIBU?

I'm Catholic and I went to a CofE baptism a few weeks ago and didn't take communion. tbh I felt at sea with the whole arrangement and I couldn't remember if Catholics could recieve in an Anglican church and i had already recieved at my own church earlier. The bread was white sliced which also threw me. I spent the whole service in a state of bewilderment.

It is considered rather bad form to assess the queue and pass judgements on who is or isn't recieving in a Catholic church.

In many ways I agree with you Alice regarding assessing the Communion queue

My point is that if you are bringing your child to church to be baptised then why not take it up for a blessing during Communion? Surely that is the whole crux of being baptised into the Christian faith?

Klio-exactly! I have never quite understood how parents do the whole baptism,party thing then dont go to church for the rest of their life!

dd goes to an oversubsribed catholic school funnily enough

I can see your point totally Jammi and surely that points to priests not offering a baptismal preparation course that actually prepares you for your child's baptism and it's significance from a Christian faith based perspective. Or am I just opening a big can of worms!

Jam-I am lapsed Catholic too,divorced,now living with partner and dd and ds.

Once a Catholic always a Catholic i think and all that GUILT

AliceFairfax, that is bad form in an A.catholic church too, I assure you. I never take communion and I have never felt that anybody NOTICED actually. I could be wrong! but I'm happier oblivious!

I mean anglican catholic when I say A.catholic. Just realised that that may not be clear to Roman Catholic.

I agree with you Klio. At my nephew's christening, one of the godparents had not been baptised or confirmed. After a chat with the vicar this was deemed ok, but then the godparent didn't go up for a blessing and I thought that was really crap.

I will have to tell my brother (one of the gps) to make sure he goes up for a blessing. I don't want him to look bad. Although tbh, I had no idea people were looking about tracking other people's movements to such a degree.

Iorek - can you avoid that situation in future by keeping your hands behind your back? That would be understood in our Church as a request for a blessing but not for communion. I was taught to do this as an older child - when I looked as if I might be old/tall enough to have been confirmed, but in fact hadn't been.

Baptism in a CofE church is anyone's right, I believe. The parents are quite within their rights to have their child baptised for any reason they see fit and they don;t have to explain themselves to anyone (though the vicar might ask a few questions I don't know).

If they are not regular churchgoers they might be totally intimidated by the whole going up for communion/blessing thing as they have no idea what is going on, it can look like some wierd rite, and they are embarrassed in case they do the wrong thing. Most of them are probably sitting in the pew shamefacedly hoping that no one in the regular congregation will notice them. It can take quite a bit of courage to go up the first time - it certainly did with me and I still feel awkward in the queue at strange churches, wondering whether I am in the right place or am about to make a numpty of myself.

Kilo, i was quite cross with members of my "congregation" who didn't go up for a blessing, the non catholics OK but the ones who were supposed to be catholics I imagine it was noted in Fathers big black book in his mind . I am a semi-practising (read lazy arse) catholic and have always taken DD for a blessing, wouldn't dream of not doing this. Im not allowed to take communion because horror - im not married .

oh and i can totally empathise with the "once a catholic always a catholic feeling of guilt" I'm constantly expecting to be struck by lightening.

Well, a lot of our family and friends couldn't have taken communion, because they aren't Catholic (DH is CofE). And may well have felt uncomfortable going up for a blessing. I don't go up to receive a blessing when I go to their church. I am made very welcome though, as they are in my church. I thought...

And as for taking your child up for a blessing during communion - well, I think they're not wanting for blessings on the day of their baptism.

Really - are you not allowed to take communion LEM? I did all the time I was living with DH before we were married. I think the priest operated on a don't ask don't tell principle

fallenmadonna, our priest is very old school, in fact his is irritatingly dogmatic and i think it genuinely bothers him that i live in sin. He has actually said to me that i should ensure that DD is brought up a catholic and is educated in the local catholic school, and that i should get married and have more children , like it was my duty to add to the worlds overpopulation crisis.

I thought the communion was open to all, whether they were the most evil murderer or a sweet natured nun. Certainly its the case in the Church of England. Jesus spent a lot of time with prositutes, tax collectors and even had a conversation with one of the comdemmed criminals beside him on the day of his death.

My husband takes a blessing at Church of England communion. He doesn't feel ready for confirmation and isn't even baptised. He used to not go up for a blessing, but now he does.

We are all sinners including the priest.

I'm a Baptist and we don't do Christenings or Blessings - we do have Dedication services for children, so maybe my experience is a bit different.

HOWEVER I firmly believe that you have to be a Christian to take communion - its a ceremony with a huge amount of meaning and we always say in our church that if you aren't comfortable with it, please just let everything pass by and no-one will think bad of you - in fact most people won't even notice.

So, coming from my background, if they aren't committed believers, then I'd say it was correct for them not to take communion.

LucyEllen, sorry to zone in on you, I see this phrase used often, it's very common place but it's entirely inappropriate.

It is "Non-catholics". Especially when it is used in the context of non-christian (eg, non-catholics not knowing what to do during communion). CofE would know what to do, so you mean non-christian right? I see this phrase used all the time with reference to God parents eg.

Anglican Catholics should not be described as non-catholics. Awful, awful phrase. I'm Anglican Catholic, or Church of England, and I'm not a non-catholic.

If you mean non-christian, then that is the phrase to use.

All christians are members of the catholic (with a little c) apostolic church. Ie. Someone has passed the message about Jesus to you. The good news has been passed from person to person almost like a baton in a race. Ie. The disciples of Jesus spread the message and then other christians carried the message all over the world.

If you are going to use the phase "non Catholic" to mean people who aren't members of the Roman Catholic Church then you need to use a capital "C".

greenelizabeth, I suspect that there is a small minority of Roman Catholics who see no difference between being non RC and non christian. Its partly why Roman Catholics will not allow C of E people to take communion or take communion in a non RC church.

Alderney - I know the Baptist tradition is slightly different and as far as I understand it if you feel it is appropriate you can choose to take Communion. In the Anglican and Catholic traditions where infant baptism prevails a significant element in having a child baptised is the understanding that the parents and Godparents are making a public declaration that they will bring the child up in the Christian tradition until they are old enough to make an informed choice for themselves. It is at that point that they can choose to get confirmed (i.e. confirm their Baptismal vows as to Christian life, belief in God, etc...) and after that they can take Communion. If you are not confirmed you can choose to go forward during Communion for a Blessing instead. It is generally understood that as the parents of a newly baptised child you take them forward for a Blessing, so you are sealing the promises you have just made during the baptism.

I do not want it to be thought that I am making some kind of tally and watching who is not going up for Communion at my church. I totally respect everyone's right to choose especially in an environment where often the majority of guest at a Baptism are not regular church goers, however I do feel that in many ways the whole religious significance and importance of baptism is undermined when the parents of the child being baptised do not take them forward for a blessing, after promising to raise them in a Christian manner.

MY DS's christening last week was also communion service (communion is only once a month at our church)

I am not a regular attender of church anymore, but still have my faith.

I went forward with both DD's and my brother took DS up for a blessing.

DH is athiest (but is leaning towards wanting to know more) but I am a firm believer.

THe other baptimal party (which consisted of approx 30 guests) didnt go up I dont think.