...to think it isn't a human rights issue if some children in a class don't get invited to a birthday party?

[Midge25]

Hijacking Radio 2 discussion here - sorry if there's already a thread on this. But surely children need to learn that not everybody is going to be their friend/invite them to their party???

Not really Spaceman, it's fairly typical that ds1 thought she was his friend when she probably isn't keen. He's got AS and has difficulty interpreting social cues etc, he frequently thinks other children are playing races or train games with him when they are in fact just running away from him. He's very affectionate and loves other children but he just isn't on the same page a lot of the time [bangs head against brick wall]

I am irrationally annoyed with this child's mother for letting this happen so blatantly though, it bloody hurts when your child is excluded.

Not at all precious Greeny.
A fine boy to still care though, you've taught him well.

LOL at the MacDonalds generation, those MacDonalds parties were SO exotic and exciting when I was at primary school....fries dipped in strawberry thick shake [boak]

I know that feeling. I have never quite forgotton the hurt when dd was left out of a girl in the streets party. she was so upset. I never spoke to the cow mother again.

schools should just ban invites on school property.

Oh Greensleeves; I can't believe your lovely boy has been made to feel excluded. What are people like nowadays? I hope his wonderful card makes them see a bit of sense.

oh greensleeves

Hard not to give them out on school premises if that's what they have in common though. With less of a fanfare perhaps.

Greensleeves - that's just awful. Your poor DS - and poor you.

I wonder sometimes if party invitation reflect parents' preferences too - groups of mums that know each other tend to invite their children to each other's parties.

So FallenMadonna, should the rest of us just develop rhino hide and stop snivelling?

Not at all Greensleeves, and if you read my other posts then you'll see that.

I'm saying that it would be tricky to give out party invitations not at school. On the way into the classroom is pretty insensitive. I help DS put his into people's drawers, or I give them to the parents if I know them.

I don't know the addresses of all his school friends. It would tricky to deliver them to their homes.

If they have to be given out on school premises why not parent to parent before the children come out?

Greensleeves what a lovely little boy you have, i would feel very upset by that too, poor lamb

I don't think i've ever let my DC give their invites out in class i've always given them to the teacher to put in the childrens book bags at the end of the day, thought that was just how it was done?

I've only ever had one issue where one mum said to me that she was 'only inviting DD to her sons party because she was friends with another child that was going but as I hadn't invited her DS to DD's party she thought it was rather kind of her to invite my DD!' I didn't know her personally at all and DD had never spoken of the boy so how was i supposed to know!!

This was on radio 2??? bugger me, they must be desperate.

not a human rights issue not to be invited to a party. But i do think it is incredibly insensive to other children to have a child handing them out discriminately in the class or playground. I think school should have a policy that invites are only allowed to go out in the bookbags and are not to be read on the school premises or waved about in the playground.

Which is quite right. But children do talk about parties and I still think excluding just one or two is mean (of the parents).

I have been in tht position greensleeves and it is heartbreaking. When my DS was 7 we were new to the school and invited a whole class to his party. and came they did. All appeared to have a geat time.

He then went through the rest of the year without a single party invite. And there were plenty of them. I saw the invites being given out. I had stood in the line when they were going into class, hearing them all chattering about the next party.

He still remembers that now, although he is a few years older and is home ed so we dont have that problem anymore

I'm sorry but I do blame the parents. If my child has been invited to a perty during that year, I would ensure that they were invited back to ours.

oh that's put me off having a party forevercleaning!

your son sounds alot like mine greensleeves.

and i'd love to home ed him if i have the time, money, intelligence.

you dont need the intelligence thats for sure - i'm no Einstein and the money is not so important, I work around DH, but it more of having the time to do it really!

Oh Greensleeves, that broke my heart, your little boy sounds truly lovely.

I was hurt because DS1 was the only boy out of his swimming group who didn't get invited to one of the other boys birthdays, but he didn't seem to notice, he is only 4. If he had noticed I think I'd have been weeping for him.

No-one warns you how heartbreaking being a parent is, and that it gets worse as they get older.

And like my DS too. Which is why I know a rhino hide isn't an option.

My dd will be 6 in the Summer, she went to Preschool with the same lot of kids that she is in class with. And ever since pre-school there have been parties that she hasnt been invited too, she has known about them but its never bothered her as she hasnt been close friends with the birthday child. So she has been used to this from an early age and its not a problem, I guess it could become a problem when she is older and if what she thought was a best friend didnt invite her, but havent encountered that yet.

Sorry TFM for jumping on you there. I am just a bit riled about this, not your fault obviously