Birthday parties no show

[MyUmberShark]

Daughter wanted to invite a few friends to celebrate her 6th birthday last weekend. She gave us a few names so we invited them, one of the girl which she claims is her best friend, this child's mum confirmed that they would come. They did not show up nor had the courtesy to inform us that they were not able to come on the day. We were a bit shocked and dissappointed with such behaviour considering that our daughter sometimes talks about her day ie: playing with this child at school. But I am just here to rant how I feel and wondering if other mum had the same experience, considering that you do bump into each other since school days are Mondays to Fridays. It just rather awkward moving forward. 😥 Am i bring unreasonable to expect a Whatsapp message to inform that they were not coming?

Perhaps they genuinely forgot 😳 you know sometimes shit like that just happens.

Just ask her when you next see if everything is ok?
yes in an ideal world you’d get a text message but something may have happened or equally they may have forgotten and be a bit mortified
Not worth being upset about - you have a lot more parties and no shows to come

Did the others turn up? Did your daughter still have a nice birthday? Perhaps one of them would make a more reliable best friend.

The mother of the girl who didn't turn up was horribly rude. You are perfectly reasonable to be upset.

It just rather awkward moving forward. 😥

only if you make it so. Perhaps something happened and it slipped her mind or she hasn’t had a chance to massage yet.

i really hope that is the case because it happened to me before i got the wrong date 😆

Ofcourse you're not being unreasonable. My kids are now teens so I have had experiences like this. Some people do truly forget about parties so I have always created a group and sent a message in the morning : "Just a little reminder for busy parents : It's Max's bdayparty at 16 at X." Some have admitted they forgot about it and came and some couldn't make it but atleast I knew beforehand albeit the same day.

Don't overthink. Most likely the parents forgot and will feel embarrassed about it. Don't hold a grudge (in the interest of your child). Very few if any parents would deliberately miss a party without telling you beforehand. Just remember to remind all next time and you will be fine.

Well there we go

and yet here you are clearly very cross with her less than 48 hours after the party.

my daughter asked me why did (child's name) didnt come to my party? i told her i do not know and she would need to ask her when she sees her in class today. So i will find out later tonight. and we never see this child attending other kid's party too which is rather strange so it has just been bothering me all day so i decided to discuss it in mumsnet.

So maybe something deeper going on

either way - no need to hold a grudge or make things awkward for the next 6 years. Her daughter is your daughter’s bestie.

yes. I hate to admit but you might be actually correct with the friend that showed up and another different kid that remembers it was going to be her birthday on the weekend..😅

Anyone can make a mistake, but there seem to be a massive number of people who really don't care now. Friends who have big gaps between their oldest and youngest say it used to be rare for people not to turn up/cancel at the last minute, but now a lot more people are flakey and rude.

In your shoes I’d bring the party bag at collection and say “sorry not to have seen X at the party but thought she might like the bag”.

No nasty undertone. Just kind and opening way up for her to likely say “omg it slipped my mind, I’m so sorry”

It does happen but it’s annoying, especially when you’re at a place that charges per head.

Of course it is upsetting. However, life is busy, so I would usually send a message the day before… looking forward seeing everybody tomorrow….
to put it into perspective, my DS has missed his best friend’s since birth birthday because we simply forgot. And I am really really good friends with the mum too…and felt absolutely awful

yes that is a good tip. we cant read minds so lesson learnt. thank you😊

?? Well there you go then! Why the rant if you’ve done it yourself before?

Happened at a bday party we went to last week. Someone messaged the class chat afterwards to say they thought it was the weekend after.

Sometimes people don’t come but are too embarrassed to tell you if they can’t afford a gift; have no childcare for siblings with SEN; their dc really can’t stand your dc’s company and refuses to go and so on.

i thought of that but i wasnt sure whether them not showing up was deliberate or not😐.

This.

I think it’s pretty rude, actually. People know that birthday parties aren’t cheap to set up.

Someone turned up a week early for one of DD2's parties 😆

But even if it was deliberate - they may be issues at play. We don’t know. So don’t assume the worst. This is your child’s good friend. Give the mother the opportunity to explain.

I am confused that you once missed a party because you got the wrong date
but you have jumped straight to assuming the worst with this parent

so it common these days. i guess we have a lot more stress to deal with these days especially with £££££ or family issues and some parents are just not comfortable to share it with other parents..

missed a party for another kid which my daughter is not close with. however, with this parent that did not show up, both children have been playing with each other and had playdates since reception.