My family have started calling DD this and I really don’t like it

[cakepasta]

My family have started calling DD Floater and I really don’t like it. It started at a family lunch a few weeks ago when she was playing with one of those little inflatable rings and my brother called her it as a joke. Now it’s stuck and everyone seems to think it’s hilarious.

My family have always had daft nicknames for each other tbf. I’ve got one my brother still calls me which I’ve never liked, but it’s just what he’s always called me. This feels different though because she’s only little and I don’t want it turning into something people say about her when she’s older.

My brother says it doesn’t mean anything and keeps going “where’s our little Floater then” whenever he sees her. My mum and sister have started saying it too now. I know they aren’t trying to be nasty but it just sounds like they’re taking the piss out of her appearance to me. She’s got quite chubby cheeks at the moment and I can imagine other kids picking up on it when she starts school.

At the weekend we were all at my mum’s for lunch and he said it about four times. I asked him to stop calling her that and he just laughed and said I was being ridiculous. My mum then said I was being precious and that DD won’t even remember it. I felt a bit stupid because everyone was looking at me like I’d made a massive deal out of nothing.

DP thinks I’m overthinking it as well. He says she’s too young to understand what it means and it’ll probably just stop being used eventually. I said that’s not really the point though, I don’t want it becoming her nickname in the first place. He thinks I’m making it into something it isn’t.

I’m not against nicknames generally, we call her Flo most of the time anyway and she has a few other little ones that are just cute things she’s done. I just don’t like this one and don’t think it’s particularly nice.

My sister messaged me afterwards saying I should just let it go because it’s affectionate and nobody means anything by it. I haven’t replied yet because I don’t really know what to say without sounding like I’m having a go at everyone.

AIBU to ask them to stop calling her it? Would you actually mind this or am I being a bit precious?

How old is she ?

YANBU, it would drive me mad, especially as floater has poo connotations. Keep telling them to stop - just be really annoying about it. Tell them it is really upsetting you. If they care about your feelings at all then they should stop.

I also thought poo.

I think it is mean spirited and I would hate it-you are not being precious or ridiculous.

i absolutely hate the whole "it's just a joke-you need a sense of humour" accusation when you spoke up.

It doesn't sound like your family cares if you dislike it or that it upsets you-it sounds like they enjoy your upset and discomfort.

It is absolutely not affectionate and they all know it.

You say you call her ‘Flo’ which is similar to Floater, I wonder if you using lots of nicknames for her has muddied the water a bit but Floater is not very cute- it just means a turd in the toilet doesn’t it. Unfortunately it sounds like your family have form for excessive nicknames.

I think as long as you asked in a nice way, it's them in the wrong here. If you ask someone to call you or your child by a name that you prefer/ avoid calling them something you hate, Moat people would just say 'yes fine' not double down and tell someone they're over sensitive. Continuing to do something that there is no need to do or benefit from, that upsets someone else, is just a bit shitty and rude. Why is their want to use an 'affectionate' ./ bantery name for your child more important than your feelings about it.

If your family have a habit of using long standing nicknames like this, and I didn't like the nickname then yes I'd say something before it became a habit

I'd be replying to your sister to ask why it's so important to them to keep using that name, and why they aren't responding to a simple request about your child

She’s nearly 3, 3 in January. We call her Flo mostly which is just short for Florence, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that as it’s actually related to her name.

Of course there’s nothing wrong with it! But Flo to Floater is quite a small step, while I think it’s an unpleasant nickname and I wouldn’t like it, it is a very similar word to Flo.

The easy answer is to warn your family that you don't like it, it ^isnt* a joke or funny and the next time someone calls her by that name, you will leave. And do it. Some people know it annoys you but continue to do it because that annoyance pleases them. It's control..

You call her Flo… sounds like short for Floater! I was called Butterball at her age because I had chubby cheeks and my parents dressed me in yellow a lot. I’m 47 and am completely well adjusted. Because I know it was just a silly endearment.

Them saying she won’t remember - just how do they think she picks up normal language and learns to speak?

The phrase ‘a joke’s a joke and enough’s enough’ springs to mind. You most definitely are NOT being unreasonable. If telling them doesn’t stop it, then don’t see them.

Nah, it’s teasing verging onto cruelty. I’d get up and leave if they persist.

What have chubby (adorable!) cheeks got to do with it?
You’ve made your point, maybe they were a bit mortified at the time but going towards surely the name won’t be brought up again in future?

To be honest where I’m from the term floater is used to describe a poo in the toilet! As such I wouldn’t like this nickname and as it’s also linked to her first name being Florence / Flo I’d also not want school kids picking up on this. I’m with you OP!

Floater is a poo that won’t flush and also makes me think of a drowned body ☹️

They're arseholes especially your brother who has always called you a nickname you don’t like and is now carrying on his bullying by calling your dd a nickname you don’t like.

if they won’t stop, don’t see them any more.

Warn them that you’ll leave if they say it again and do so. It’ll take a couple of times and some flak on messages etc but you need to protect your daughter from this - it won’t go away otherwise.

And be aware of it coming back in again if they do stop (after you remove yourself/her from the situation). They’ll test the waters and you need to be firm in your response EVERY time or it will seep back in.

Tell them to change it to Floaty which sounds a bit more fairy like

I just think it sounds like a comment about her weight tbh, even if they’re not intending it that way. She’s little and has chubby cheeks, but why make that into her nickname?

I don’t think they’re going to drop it on their own either. My sister messaged afterwards saying it’s affectionate and asking what my problem was, so they clearly don’t see why they should stop.

My brother still calls me a nickname I’ve always hated, even though I’ve told him. He still uses it now and we’re adults, so I’m not expecting this one to disappear by itself lol.

If they are arguing it will stop and she won't remember- well, why not just stop now?
And would it stop unless they deliberately stop, because you say you get called something you don't like.

How about "brother still calls me a nickname I don't like after all these years. I'm not having it for DD too."

This is what I think of when I hear "floater" too.

No one will think it's about her weight, people would associate it with a poo that won't flush though which is gross and I wouldn't like that either

I wouldn’t mind if it was just to do with her floating in the pool, and didn’t have any other meaning. Surely they must be aware of the fact that they’re calling her a turd which won’t flush away? Have you told them this is why you object to it?

Yes this, what on earth have chubby cheeks got to do with anything?

What is the link with floater and weight?
I think YABU and projecting your own insecurities onto her. What's the nickname they have for you?

Sorry op I would find that infuriating. When I was little my family gave me a nickname. I was the youngest in the family and I hated it so much. My mum used it a couple of times in front of school ‘friends’ and they then used it a couple of times, fortunately the friends forgot it as it could’ve gone throughout my school career. I think I eventually refused to answer to that name for about a month until
they got the message. I was probably about 10.

i hated it and would hate floater even more because of the associations with poos and dead bodies.

could you give them unflattering nicknames to prove a point? Or just stop seeing them until they stop the name.