Blended family & Inheritance. How the hell do we make it fair?

[WeWereDoingSoWell]

Me and DH have been married for 5 years, together for 12. We have 5 children between us. I will try to make this as simple as possible whilst including all the relevant information.

I have three children from previous relationships. He has one child from a previous relationship. We have one child together.

DD1 : her dad is involved and she will probably get a small inheritance from him. She was older when I got with my DH and doesn't really view him as a father figure

Dd2 & dd3 : they have the same dad (not my DH) he is not involved, is in prison and they won't get any inheritance from him. They were young when I got with my DH and they think of him as their Dad.

DHs daughter : her Mam is involved and she will get inheritance from her (not a massive inheritance but likely to be bigger than DD1s inheritance from her father)

DD4 : mine and DHs daughter together.

How do we make our will fair? Would you just split it 5 ways or do we make allowances for the fact dd2, 3 and 4 won't have any inheritance from anyone else but DD1 and SD will?

Do we split our inheritance in two (mine and his) and then split it between our children? So mine would be split 4 ways and his 2?

Hopefully this won't be an issue for a long time yet but I don't want to leave things until we're old and the kids will all want to have their own opinions.

Any advice welcome

Considering 4 see the husband as their dad; and your married - I think 5 ways.

The outlier is your eldest daughter but she’s not actually doing badly by that scenario so hopefully will be happy.

I think just an equal 5 way split. Other inheritance may not materialise with cost of care homes and anyway it should make no difference because this is what you and your DH will be leaving them. First one dies token amount, second one dies split equally in 5.

This.

So, to do the maths:

Your DDs 1, 2 and 3 each get 25% of your 50%, so 12.5% each

His DD1 gets 50% of his 50%, so 25%

Your DD4 gets 25% of your 50% plus 50% of his 50%, so 37.5%

Edited to add it's more complicated isn't it? Unless you both die at the same time the surviving partner presumably gets some or all and then split the rest after that partner dies?

Yup just coming here to say that.

It’s definitely a job for someone with legal training though because you need one that he can’t change on your death or vice versa.

I'd make mirror wills and then split the last inheritance five ways, if you are both happy to do this.

This is the only way to be fair.

Other inheritances are not guaranteed. Your children should not suffer from your DHs choice to have more.

First, you have to accept there is no way to make this absolutely fair.

I would say the fairest option is you split your half between your 4 dc, he splits his between his 2.

Yes to the splitting assets in half and each of you do what you want with your half.

What will you do with your property after one of you dies, will the one be able to live there?

I would just split it 5 ways. There are no guarantees about getting an inheritance,the government is determined that anyone with any money (,over £16000 will pay for all of their own care until it is used up,so the likelihood of modest inheritances is quite slight.

I dont agree with splitting it in half because then the youngest will inherit far more than two of her siblings who will get nothing from their father.

Far better to split it five ways. No arguments, no unfairness, everyone gets the same. There is no guarantee of inheritance from the other involved parents so you shouldnt factor that in.

All you should do is base it on your kids and your estates.

Agree. This.

Don’t make any alterations to take account of any other inheritances.

Your will is your will.

You and DH divide your assets 50/50, half each

You leave your half shared amongst your 4 children

Your DH leaves his share between his 2 children

Thats what I would do.

You will need a solicitor to sort the wording

Your 50% gets split 4 ways, dh's gets split 2 ways.

I would just split it five ways, no other inheritances are guaranteed and don't sound like they would be significant in any case. I think your bigger issue is if one of you survives the other and decides to leave the money and assets to a new partner, or only their own biological children

Divide it equally. Into 5ths. Then ensure it is protected for the kids in the event when one of you dies, the other remarries.

See Linda Bellingham, Peter Sellers etc. When they died their 'new' partner took all the cash meant for the children.

Yes - this is fair

Dh and I are sharing the inheritence equally amongst our children and step children. We all lived together practically full time and other parents were not really involved.
I would either share equally or your dh share between his two children and you share between your 4 children.

This 👆

It doesn’t matter what the other parents do or don’t do inheritance wise.

Split your joint assets in halves, then divide between your own biological children. This is quite usual in these situations.

My mum left her half of the inheritance to the children rather than our dad for this reason. We

The relationship the children have with their other parents, and how likely they are to inherit from them, is completely irrelevant.

You and your husband's assets get divided into two - one part for you, one part for him. Your half of assets get divided by the amount of children you have, which is 4 - and your husband's part of assets get divided by the amount of children he has, which is two.

I don't think giving all children an equal share is fair on your husband's children, because you'd essentially be giving away some of their inheritance to your children. Who are not biologically related to your husband, and even one of his children. I'd be pissed off if my parent gave away some of my inheritance to some random children I have no blood relation to.

Divide in two, you leave your half to your four and he leaves his between his two.

Your stepdaughter’s portion can’t be compromised because two of yours don’t have an involved father.

Imagine how she would feel if she were considered equal in her father’s eyes to two of her stepmother’s children.

My husband and I have one daughter each.

Split it evenly, you're all family that doesn't change because of others. If you give one less because they're getting inheritance elsewhere would you then change your will if another married rich?

Splitting it so your middle kids only inherit from you is a massive smack in the face of your husband saying "I'm not your dad"

Your 50% goes to all your children divided equally. Your DH’s 50% goes to his children divided equally. Anything else is manifestly unfair to your DH's child and benefits only your children with their feckless fathers.

He isn't their dad. Splitting it equally is a massive slap in the fact for his daughter.