To despair at the crap some people feed their kids

[Apotofrealcoffee]

Currently watching a kid who can’t be more than age 3, tuck in to a packet of ‘squashie’ sweets on the bus. No sign of a tantrum, kid seems perfectly happy looking out the window, but out come the sweets. And to pre empt the ‘snobbery’ thing, the parent seems middle class to me and certainly eloquent.

I regularly see kids tucking into chocolate bars, packets of crisps, lollies, all on the school run. Many of them toddlers in their buggies dropping off older siblings. Parents meeting kids at the school gate with full packets of Oreos, bottles of pop, doughnuts.

I’ve been trying not to judge for years and have been repeatedly told it’s ’just one snapshot of their day’ but honestly, I feel like the time for judgement has entered. I have never fed my toddlers crap like that, let alone just after breakfast. My 3 year old has never had a fizzy drink.

Why, just why! AIBU to feel there needs to be some kind of very direct public health campaign at this point? Maybe even a ‘no sweets at the school gate’ rule?

Where do you live? I wonder if your kids school was in an area of high deprivation you might see more of it.

My children have never eaten a single grain of sugar. As a special treat I give them 3 raisins and when we walk past any screen I put my hands over their eyes to shield them from seeing it.

🙄🙄🙄

This has a really mean tinge to it, you have no idea of how healthy the child is based on one packed of sweets.

Even the idea that kids need snacks to get them home from school is laughable

according to the nhs 1 in 8 primary kids is obese - not just overweight but obese

Do we need drs to tell us that sweets aren’t healthy though? or that crisps isn’t an ideal snack on the way to school?

I think people know.

It isn’t about ‘one packet of sweets’ and you know this.

When my siblings and I were children, sweets and treats were like a controlled substance. Mum and Dad were budgeting, ran their own business. We were fed home grown vegetables as our grandparents grew them, or cheap veg from the greengrocer. Dad's friend hunted and rabbit was very often on the dinner table as it was free. Treats were allowed only one hour after a meal was finished, Mum explained why. Then she'd make sure we cleaned our teeth.

The end result is a fairly slim bunch of brothers and sisters with great teeth, no diabetes, no food obsessions. Oh and they taught us to make pies and basic meals. Also cakes, as my grandparents baked for money for weddings etc., but our upbringing was key and we ate quite cheaply.

I think now there is so much cheap, processed food our there and very different family structures, so that rubbish is more affordable, more readily available.. time is a huge factor too. Single parents under pressure, working long hours etc.

So many factors... lack of education, poor upbringing too. It is very sad that many children have such poor teeth and are on a fast track to health issues. What can the state do about it.... if anything?

All very well criticising OP but working where I do in healthcare and seeing children as young as 9 grossly obese with type 2 diabetes and having all their baby teeth removed because they are rotten I agree. They shouldn't be eating shit like fish fingers and chips either.

Get a life

It’s two days after Halloween. This is probably preferable to them eating three kilos of sugar in one sitting.

Hello show me where I said that?

I don't know. But I am not the one pointing fingers.

It’s tragic isn’t it. I feel so sorry for these kids.

I do wonder if a child being a bit overweight is actually somehow a good thing to the parent though, as now they get called ‘sturdy’ ‘a growing lad’ ‘strong’ etc - so children with a healthy BMI somehow seems ‘frail’ by comparison. The fatter children are also taller, because extra weight goes into height first (but they then stop growing quicker), so it feeds into ‘they’re just a big strong boy/girl’.

Kids clothes are also insanely wide now. Compare them to European brands and they’re enormous at the waist and width of feet, even though our kids are no taller.

Your faux derision and relentlessly posting on here making out this is all about one packet of sweets, and making out it’s a minor issue, read that way. So do you agree there is a huge obesity problem in kids or not?

I home cook all my sons meals, and make him snacks whenever I can. If not he has the healthier supermarket snacks. But my god, this post is JUDGEY. Everyone’s parenting journey is different. Who are you to know what that parent went through this week/this morning? Maybe they had a terrible morning and had some sweets in the bag and felt it was a last resort with an agitated toddler. Focus on your own child.

Struggling to know how to respond to all the pearl clutching.

Sugar before the age of 3 link to dementia?? Snort.

OP you have a few valid points but you're clouding them with hysteria. That your 3 year old hasn't had a fizzy drink isn't the big flex you think it is. You have 15 more years of his life to go and it's about encouraging a healthy balance.

Ranting about other toddlers having sweets or suggesting a school gate sugar ban just makes you look unhinged

Whatever they went through squashies at 9am are not the answer.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clyx85z1ld5o

You’re lucky you’ve never been in a situation that requires an urgent distraction!

Simple fact is that they didn’t survive. Haribos or not.

Our toddler definitely eats too much crap. But its still far less than DH and I did growing up in the 90s. We lived on UPFs.

I have a child in year 3 who is having a terrible time at school. Hates every second but holds it together. Tears, panic attacks etc are a daily occurrence before school. My lovely child goes in, works hard and basically breaks down at the end of the day. They have a learning plan with goals they are trying to meet.

if you saw us every day you would think I’m an awful parent. Our current agreement is if we meet our goals for the day, you get a packet of fruit pastilles after school. You would only see that part - me handing over sweets. You wouldn’t see my 8 year old calling themselves all sorts of things it breaks my heart to hear, or the tears, the doctors appointments… or home made dinners, fruit and “healthy options” my child eats at home. Or even the sport clubs they go to four times a week.

Is this my ideal solution? Absolutely not. Am I trying to do my best with what I have to work with? Yes. I don’t begrudge my child sweets that are helping us to even slightly ease A LOT of friction we are currently being put through.

And I remember being devastated when my child had chocolate buttons for the first time at like 2… how naive I was 😂

We didn’t - my mum was an old school hippy type, plus we were broke, so she used to buy massive sacks of lentils/rice/potatoes from wholesalers. And I would say my kids have a good diet now (plenty of fresh fruit and veg, pulses, nuts, oily fish at least once a week, 90% of meals cooked from scratch, porridge for breakfast).

I do think if you were not brought up to eat healthily it can be hard to actually develop an appetite for it and realise when you eat too much junk.

I’m surprised at the posters confidently stating their toddlers eat too much junk. If you’re aware of it; why not change it? Fair play for being honest though.

I think a lot of people have lost perspective on what a healthy diet should look like and how food should be chosen to sustain and fuel us (the majority of the time at least). Also, I think people don't realise the percentage of unhealthy food their children are eating, particularly the empty calories. I also see children being met after school and given crisps and sweets straightaway, instead of alongside healthy snacks. Diabetes runs in my family and I try to avoid those blood sugar spikes for my children. I'm also trying to teach my children that it's not about good/bad foods, but learning to feed our bodies and look after them and understanding what our body needs. My 5 year did gymnastics yesterday. Afterwards, as part of her snack, she had one of her Halloween treats and we talked factually about how it might taste delicious, but it did absolutely nothing positive for her health and was bad for her teeth. She had it after a glass of milk and a banana and really enjoyed her chocolate bar - so I definitely don't think children should never have treats, they just seem to be the go-to instead of real food a lot of the time. And of course, if someone is dealing with something extreme like ARFID, then that's completely different - but a lot of the middle-class children where I live do seem to be eating junk a lot of the time.