To despair at the crap some people feed their kids

[Apotofrealcoffee]

Currently watching a kid who can’t be more than age 3, tuck in to a packet of ‘squashie’ sweets on the bus. No sign of a tantrum, kid seems perfectly happy looking out the window, but out come the sweets. And to pre empt the ‘snobbery’ thing, the parent seems middle class to me and certainly eloquent.

I regularly see kids tucking into chocolate bars, packets of crisps, lollies, all on the school run. Many of them toddlers in their buggies dropping off older siblings. Parents meeting kids at the school gate with full packets of Oreos, bottles of pop, doughnuts.

I’ve been trying not to judge for years and have been repeatedly told it’s ’just one snapshot of their day’ but honestly, I feel like the time for judgement has entered. I have never fed my toddlers crap like that, let alone just after breakfast. My 3 year old has never had a fizzy drink.

Why, just why! AIBU to feel there needs to be some kind of very direct public health campaign at this point? Maybe even a ‘no sweets at the school gate’ rule?

My mum doesn’t bake. She rarely eats cake or dessert herself. She likes with the other grandchildren giving them really high value treats, whether it food or tv or stuff to buy excitement from them.

It also feels like that kind of stuff should be led by me, rather than bring a grandmothers first

This old chestnut.

Life expectancy would have been about 20-25 in the Stone Age and most kids would have died young.

not the best example

When there is a news article about children who have been found half starved by their parents and the parents have been arrested for neglect, we come on here and share articles and discuss how upsetting it is to neglect and abuse children and starve them etc. No one says “well what are you doing about it, because otherwise you’re just throwing stones”

But when parents are over feeding their kids and filling them with shit junk food and the kids are having to wear tailored clothes to fit their waists or can’t run and play tag with their friends…. We can’t talk about that as a form of neglect and abuse? Because it’s just throwing stones?

Why? Why is it ok to simply talk about the abuse starved children have faced but not the abuse faced by children being fed into a lifetime of problems, because it is a lifetime. Those kids who can’t fit into a primary school blazer are not going to suddenly have a healthy adulthood. They’ve been taught that the only food is junk food. It’s abuse. We can talk about it without each of us individually proving what we’ve done to stop it. Just like we talk about all kinds of abuse.

What do you think individuals can do?

I wouldn't start a thread on it but I do think obesity is an issue in society and I genuinely wouldn't know where to start to fix it.

I personally fail to understand when parents give their children or themselves anything classed as a grade one carcinogen and yet the supermarket s are full of the stuff

Judge anyway . Your not important enough for theses 'offenders' to give a fuck tho

Low bar really https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/health-matters-child-dental-health/health-matters-child-dental-health#scale-of-the-problem

Nothing to celebrate about a fifth of kids arriving at school with rotten teeth.

Low life expectancy in the Stone Age was caused by high child mortality bringing down the average, due to lack of medical care and accidents. And adult deaths were primarily due to infection, accident or childbirth. Again, due to lack of medical care. Starvation also caused death due to the lack of organised agriculture.

But their diet, when they had good access to to food, did not cause or contribute to their death because it was the diet humans evolved to eat. They had a better diet than we do, if you want to argue that.

Yes. if it’s any consolation, I will still be judging parents of skinny children if they feed them lots of rubbish.

to add to your point, a poor diet really affects the microbiome which can cause autoimmune diseases and cancers. unfortunately their parents may be storing up problems for them later in life even if they are slim as children.

@SomethingYum pre-packed fruit directly in contact with plastic sounds like a terrible idea. I’d rather my kid has a piece of chocolate - at least it’s inert and there’s no fruit-acid micro-plastic interaction

The best thing you can offer is an apple. 🍏

I agree with you OP.

One of the saddest statistics for me is that tooth decay requiring extractions under general anaesthetic is the leading cause of planned/surgical hospital admissions for children aged 5 to 9 in the UK. I wonder what causes the tooth decay...

Actually on most of those threads there are people who point out that the systemic dismantling of family support, sure start type programmes and the slow but steady erosion of social work teams have consistently placed children at risk. That the drive to lower public spending means safety nets simply aren’t there, and that costs lives. That people who wring their hands over a dead child while consistently avoiding paying tax contribute to the wider societal issues that end with a dead child.

It’s not at all unreasonable to ask what people are prepared to do on a societal level to address a societal issue. But yes, it’s much easier to judge individual parents.

I'd love if my son would eat anything that resembled a fruit or vegetable but he has 10 foods will eat and thats it.

Unless OP personally knows these random parents or sees their DC scoffing sweets for breakfast daily then it absolutely is a snapshot

Exactly. No nutritious food each day? Not good. Observing what snacks people feed their kids when out and about (which is when many parents would choose to treat/indulge their kids)? It’s a snapshot. Wind your neck in!

anyway sound like your kids still pretty young OP. Wait till they’re in their teens and I’m sure there will be a whole loads of parenting “failures” we could judge you for!

i mean something had to be the leading cause of hospital admissions, and isn’t it good it’s not something more serious?

to be clear, I don’t think tooth decay is good and we ought to be working to reduce it, but I don’t find this fact sad at all. In fact it seems like a good thing it’s not something less treatable.

twocrumpets

It is true though, in each of my son’s classes the children who looked overweight were definitely not the ones being fed a diet of crap. Some of the skinnies kids were the ones who lived on takeaway. Sometimes children do honestly just have different metabolism (or whatever the biological reason is).

I think many of the points you make OP are correct and true. However your tone is off-puttingly self-righteous and preachy which is counter-productive to persuasion, if that is what you seek to achieve here.

Not sure where you live OP but it isn't like that where I live. The odd overweight child is still in the minority.

Neither is their kid living a short and unhealthy life apparently 😢

My kids are adults now. Yes they had sweets, often on a bus, oh the horror. They have never been overweight, never needed any dental work. Yes they had sweets, they also had a healthy diet. You carnt judge by a snapshot of someone's day

Agree completely.

YANBU but the UK isn’t prepared for that conversation.

In all fairness though, judging by what I hear from my SIL it doesn’t seem like there’s much guidance from doctors food wise. She’s never been given examples or guidance of what meals to make her child, just what to introduce.

I generally agree but also it’s likely this was a Halloween leftover that has been rationed for the bus home if he was good in the shops.
My children generally have a good diet and didn’t really have sweets or fizzy drinks until they were older, definitely no sweets at the school gate, but I try not to judge other parents unless I know the full situation.

Me too. I and my siblings all have an outrageous sweet tooth as adults as our parents banned sugar. Nothings banned with my own children. We don’t have junk in the house, but if we go to a cafe etc they can order whatever they like.