AIBU to be upset about a comment my partner put on Facebook

[Ald73x]

Hi, I’m 10 years divorced, in my early 50s. My ex husband regularly cheated on me. Been happily single for 10 years. I started a relationship with my partner 9 months ago. He’s 11 years younger than me and I’ve really broken down emotional barriers and he’s a lovely man. However yesterday I got a notification that he had commented on a facebook post. He never comments on anything on fb, he’s hardly ever on there. The profile that he had commented on was a twenty something women, clearly posting for likes from men, quite provocative, skimpy clothing, beer drinking. Kind of, look at me, aren’t I the perfect girlfriend type stuff. Her ‘thing’ is that she loves drinking beer and sport. It was full of comments like, marry me, cracking figure etc etc. He posted a fairly innocuous comment, not sexual, but a ‘come to England’as she was complaining about the USA being anti drinking. It’s made me feel a bit weird that for someone who never posts, he’s actively engaged with this type of profile and feelings of mistrust have been brought to the surface. I feel silly but also a little demeaned and I’m surprised that he posted this publicly but I don’t doubt he didn’t realise I’d see it. I feel if I interacted on a similar type male profile in a flirtatious way he wouldn’t like that. AIBU. I’m usually pretty laid back but I’ve shocked myself at how this is making me feel. Am I being stupid?

That’s not innocuous at all. That’s grim.!

Nah, creepy and weird.

Yes, he’s being creepy but it’s nothing to do with you now, so for this reason yabu.

It’s tame in comparison to most of what is posted on those kinds of pages. However, it is tragic. Not sure I could shag a man that posted stuff on pages like that. Major ick.

He'd be dumped. He knows what he's doing and these idiot men always fall for those kind of posts. Suckers.

No.you aren't being stupid OP. You now realise he is not the lovely man you thought he was.

No need to put the other woman down because you feel threatened. It sounds like you have insecurity issues thats causing jealousy. If it bothering you then just tell him.

You're not being stupid.
You got back out there and gave dating a shot - that's very cool of you and I hope this experience doesn't throw you off, if dating is what you want to do.

Your boyfriend, however, is chatting up a bot.
That is stupid.

Its her current partner.

Exactly. He is a creep. He has a partner, and he comes out with this shit!

The tragic thing is that when I saw this thread title, I KNEW that it was going to be a poster saying her partner or husband had made a comment on the profile of an attractive young woman. I just fucking knew it!

I would be rethinking whether you want to stay in this relationship @Ald73x He is quite a few years younger than you.

Exactly. Why aren't we all over younger men's profiles? It's pathetic but some men will always be gullible and fall for these cheap stunts.

Oh stupid me. I’ve re-read. Why was the ex mentioned? Irrelevant info. Anyway my mistake.

@Ald73x you’ve got yourself a wrong un!

I mentioned my ex as I’m questioning whether my history of being cheated on may be clouding my judgement and making me overreact. This is my first relationship in 10 years

Ex was mentioned as he regularly cheated on her so this behaviour by her new partner obviously made her uncomfortable.

Dont immediately jump to you're overreacting because that's what we always do. Only you know how you've been treated in the past and what you're now prepared to put up with.

Honestly you had me until “clearly posting for likes from men, quite provocative, skimpy clothing, beer drinking. Kind of, look at me, aren’t I the perfect girlfriend type stuff. Her ‘thing’ is that she loves drinking beer and sport.” and then I realised your post was dripping with internalised misogyny. You’re clearly the type of woman to put other women down to make yourself feel better. Obviously incredibly insecure.

I don’t think you’re overreacting. It would put me off him, sorry.

Oh how annoying. My message was hidden because I mentioned something forbidden on MN - b1tcoin! I just saying that a friend of mine has a husband who was scammed and conned by someone pretending to be an attractive young woman ... She talked him into buying b1tcoin, and it was his own stupid fault for being charmed by (and flirting with) a 29 year old woman (35 years younger than him!) Silly fool thought she was interested in him, and it turned out to be a scam. Not a young woman at all. Lost £3000. Purely from flirting with a fake bot scam account!

I haven’t put this woman down. I’m describing the profile as that is the whole point of my post. If he’d posted on a comedy page or a football page, I wouldn’t be bothered. It was the type of profile he had commented on which has bothered me, and yes, unsurprisingly I am insecure clearly or I wouldn’t be posting here. Cheaters make you feel like that. Even when you think it’s ancient history and dead and buried. Which it was until I saw his comment.

Pathetic. I've heard about scams like that when men are playing games on line. My friend said her bloke plays games where images pop up of women who will strip off if you pay.

On some level he thinks he’s in with a chance with her, so yes, it’s tragic and cringe-inducing.

ODFOD

I’d throw this one back, OP. You’re better than this .

It's pretty silly to throw away a whole relationship where you have otherwise been happy over something like this. He is going to look at and admire other women. I look at and admire other men. That doesn't mean I'm going to fuck them. I think you are being unreasonable and the easiest way to deal with this is simply to turn off notifications of his comments. Maybe comment on a few hot guys yourself!