Appalling behaviour and verbal assault in a theatre

[Fran2023]

We were at an internationally renowned theatre in Warwickshire over the weekend where we experienced the following:

The patron sitting one seat away from me, was talking to his companion and in a loud voice started talking about a person he referred to as a ‘Jew boy’ and described how his feet were so small. He then wondered, out loud whether ‘they bind their feet like the Japanese.’ (Sic) He also pointed at people standing and said in a loud voice, ‘Look at them in the cheap seats.’ During the performance of the play, he started talking several times, so I asked him to ‘please stop talking as he was at the theatre not the bar.’ He stopped talking until the interval, although during the performance he kept pushing his left hand between the legs of his female companion, stroking up and down and otherwise groping her. (This was a couple in their 50s or 60s!)

During the interval, after my husband had left to collect our drinks, the man verbally attacked me. He and his companion continued to berate me and argue for several minutes because I had asked him to be quiet during the performance. He then said that they (he and his companion) had had to listen to me laughing like ‘ a stupid horse-woman’ and then they both started making braying noises while pointing at me.

i immediately picked up my coat and bag and left to find an usher. I told the usher who called the duty manager. I explained everything, by then I was in floods of tears. Her solution was to offer us different seats or tickets for another performance, which we accepted.

My AIBU is that the couple who attacked me remained in their seats and nothing was done about them, surely they should have been asked to leave? The theatre’s argument was that there were no independent witnesses! I was left feeling that I was the problem as it was me who left!

Why be proud of ignorance?

I love how he waited til your dh wasn't there. Typical!

I have also stopped going to the theatre because of some of the audience. I have twice been touched inappropriately and have frequently had to endure other members of the audience making noise and generally being complete twats. It has become intolerable, many people don't know how to behave any more. I feel sorry for the performers who have to put up with idiotic audience members.

Sorry this happened to you. What horrible people. I hope you can enjoy the new performance.

I used to manage a theatre albeit not as big as the RSC. We'd have removed them, even if it meant delaying the start of the performance. Sadly only about 10% of theatres remove patrons for poor behaviour which is why it's becoming more common.

The ushers normally stand in the theatre while the production is happening. I find it hard to understand why these people were not removed, and other people did not make a fuss.

Presume you've never heard of Google either. How embarrassing for you.

Why didnt your DH tell him to shut up? Or any of the other audience members around you? Surely if they were talking so loudly people would have heard and said something?

You could’ve looked on google maps in less time than it took to write your useless comment

Was he drunk?

Problem is that there is a high chance that he was going to be nasty to you after you told him off. He had already shown himself to be a horrible man by his comments.

You were brave to have said something directly to him because you never know how they will react. I would probably have spoken to the usher first to see if they could have asked him to be quiet.

It's difficult for the theatre as they are not the police. I think they did the only thing they could do. How do you think the couple would have reacted if asked to leave? I expect they would have kicked off and the situation would have escalated.

They sound horrible and it was dreadful for you. The same happened to me 35 years ago in the same theatre, it's so upsetting. Hell is other people unfortunately.

I have no words.

How terrible what a shame people like that ruin what was probably a great performance. Not sure the theatre could have done much more unfortunately.

I’ve had several experiences like this. People having a full scale meal during the performance, getting out Tupperware and chatting, asking for the salt etc. Then the people who were chatting and getting out their phone throughout the performance and then he squared up to me leaving the theatre because I’d complained to him. Then the guy who got out his phone and was texting snd chatting through the entire show. It’s infuriating when you’ve paid £50 upwards to go.

There are ushers and I think they should occasionally come down the aisles to make sure people aren’t being arseholes. And if people still behave badly and refuse to leave then they should call the police. It only takes a few theatres to enforce this them people would stop doing it.

Have you heard of Shakespeare?

It's fairly obviously the Royal Shakespeare Theatre in Stratford-upon-Avon. You have heard of Shakespeare, right?

The Royal Shakespeare Theatre or the Swan.

Not really sure why this was integral to the story though!

Well done for being dumb!

That’s awful OP! How did you know he was a patron. Apparently these rich wallies pay up to 5k a year to act like arses so I expect the theatre was worried about their finances. I think you should have more than your tickets replaced. What about travel and a meal on top? I guess they didn’t want to disturb performance but even so. Write to the director and main actors too. This is disgraceful. I’m furious on your behalf. Especially the antisemitism, racism and nastiness to you.

It's incredibly frustrating but some people just don't know how to behave at events and treat everything like they are sitting at home.

I have become less tolerant as I get older but it means often nights out get interrupted by falling out with someone.

For some reason it's worse since Covid and Brexit..almost like people have been given a green light for selfish, ignorant behaviour.

I also no longer look forward to going to the theatre..people can't keep off their phones , with bright screens illuminating the surrounding seats and small children being given tablets to play on ( happened in a performance in the west end I was at) .

People regularly turn up drunk and loud, causing disruption the entire performance. The poor ushers aren't trained or expected to do the job of the police.

Yes he was annoying but what do you expect if you have a go at someone and if he wants to grope his wife i think thats allowed and how did you know that anyway,...i think youve bit your nose off to spite your face, some people are just horrible and best avoid the confrontation,..

I’ve been in theatres where audience members have been removed during the interval or very rarely during the performance because their behaviour has been so bad the auditorium staff have noticed it.
I guess if the staff haven’t seen it then they sadly can’t throw them out.
People have developed antisocial behaviours over the years & it can be quite hit & miss as to whether you get a decent audience so you can enjoy the show.
Sometimes the best behaviour in a theatre has been at the panto!!!

Not something to be proud of. Stratford upon Avon is one of the most famous places in the world for theatre.

Have a go at someone? She asked him to stop talking during the performance! Because you're not fucking supposed to talk, or grope your partner, you're there to watch the actors and talking is disrespectful of them and your fellow audience members who these days may have paid over three figures for a decent seat.

A previous poster is quite right, this behaviour has got worse since COVID. There's an entitlement crept in with an increasing number of people (albeit a minority at each performance) of "I've paid for my ticket, I can do what I like". These people think they can behave in the theatre as they can at home, and if that's getting pissed and singing along at a musical, then they damn well will and fuck you if you try to stop me.

There are increasing numbers of verbal and physical abuse at theatres - a recent case saw a bloke choke the woman next to him (he's been sent to jail) and there have been many cases where performances have been halted for upto an hour because of flights breaking out, drunks hurling abuse.

It's not right and it's not acceptable.