Appalling behaviour and verbal assault in a theatre

[Fran2023]

We were at an internationally renowned theatre in Warwickshire over the weekend where we experienced the following:

The patron sitting one seat away from me, was talking to his companion and in a loud voice started talking about a person he referred to as a ‘Jew boy’ and described how his feet were so small. He then wondered, out loud whether ‘they bind their feet like the Japanese.’ (Sic) He also pointed at people standing and said in a loud voice, ‘Look at them in the cheap seats.’ During the performance of the play, he started talking several times, so I asked him to ‘please stop talking as he was at the theatre not the bar.’ He stopped talking until the interval, although during the performance he kept pushing his left hand between the legs of his female companion, stroking up and down and otherwise groping her. (This was a couple in their 50s or 60s!)

During the interval, after my husband had left to collect our drinks, the man verbally attacked me. He and his companion continued to berate me and argue for several minutes because I had asked him to be quiet during the performance. He then said that they (he and his companion) had had to listen to me laughing like ‘ a stupid horse-woman’ and then they both started making braying noises while pointing at me.

i immediately picked up my coat and bag and left to find an usher. I told the usher who called the duty manager. I explained everything, by then I was in floods of tears. Her solution was to offer us different seats or tickets for another performance, which we accepted.

My AIBU is that the couple who attacked me remained in their seats and nothing was done about them, surely they should have been asked to leave? The theatre’s argument was that there were no independent witnesses! I was left feeling that I was the problem as it was me who left!

I'm sorry you had to go through that, it sounds horrendous.

I see the theatre's point about witnesses, from their point of view it could have turned into a he said/she said situation. I think they did all they could reasonably have done by giving you replacement tickets.

If others complain about this pair, it would put them in a stronger position to take action.

What a horrible experience for you. You must still be shaken up about it.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure the theatre can do much more about it. They're not the police. They don't have the time or personnel to "investigate" bad behaviour.

This is what puts me off theatre. People are awful!

Because ultimately, it was your word against theirs.

You were offered to move which was the best option considering the time to take any action.

Sounds awful - you're not being unreasonable in that they are clearly nasty people. But the theatre were unfortunately right - if they kicked people out just on someone else's say-so, that awful couple could have you kicked out, couldn't they?

an internationally renowned theatre in Warwickshire

sorry but
I don't even know where Warwickshire is!

I can see it is difficult from the theatre's point of view. But then I am also surprised they hadn't already dealt with him so you didn't have to! The London theatres have multiple staff members in the theatre throughout the performance and would have been on such behaviour swiftly.

I'm sorry you had to go through this. I would congratulate yourself for having the balls to speak up to him, it sounds like there were many there less brave than you.

The RSC in Stratford? Or The Swan Theatre? Or The Warwick Arts Centre - although probably the RSC. That’s hard in the RSC the audience is quite exposed and it’s an intimate setting. I’m sorry to hear this - they did the right thing though. The theatre could not have done more.

RSC at Stratford may be?

It's Shakespeare's county! Stratford upon Avon is home to some famous theatres.

Have you heard of Shakespeare?

Eta X-posted with IntentionallyAsymmetrical - sorry, IA

As well as he says/she says, I suspect the other half of the problem was timing; intervals aren't long, and if your DH had already had time to leave, you had time to have the discussion with the people in front, gather your stuff and then go and find an usher/manager—they probably felt dealing with them would disrupt the start of the second act. And that would have been very unfair to the performers and the rest of the audience.
Its a shame you were treated like that, but the moment has passed; let it go.

And how does your ignorance help this thread?

Do you know where England is? Or your arse?

Idiot post.

Just about to say the same!!!!

Thanks for the responses. I’ll just have to accept the way that it was dealt with. I also appreciate that kicking them out would have potentially disrupted the second half. And, as several have said, at least we've got replacement tickets.

Probably the RSC at Stratford.

maybe the obnoxious man is someone famous in the world of theatre that they can't eject. even if he isn't, he sounds likely to make a big fuss if they tried to move him out.

Offering you other seats is the simplest and most diplomatic solution for the poor ushers who don't have much power.

sorry your theatre trip was ruined.

If you are in the UK then that is utterly shameful.

This is why people video interactions on their phones these days (depressing but can be helpful in getting people to behave).

Ok so they sound objectionable but, even more shocking, was their age! 50 or 60 and still feeling randy, they should be locked up!! 😂😂

I feel like if it was as bad as you describe, other members of the audience would havr backed you up.

If he were as loud as you say he was then it would have been noted by all those in the audience around him. Staff would have noted it too and spoken to him during the interval.

I would have felt shaken up by an altercation like that, Fran2023, and I think I would have been grateful for tickets for a different night to start the whole experience afresh.
Agree though that it doesn't seem fair and, of course, you may well have travelled a distance to see the play that evening and it may not have been convenient to return.
(I presume this person actually knew they were in a theatre in Warwickshire and didn't think they were in a panto or something elsewhere...)

Him and his wife sound utterly repugnant OP. This is what puts me off with being in a theatre - I had to once sit behind a foul family who stunk of weed and were loud and rambunctious the entire performance. When I complained to the Usher, I was told to move seats and they weren’t even spoken to which I thought was unfair on the other people seated around them.

I have been to the theatre many times, and have seen nothing out of the ordinary. The OP's experience is not the norm. Why would you not go?