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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be shocked at a mother feeding her 7 and 4 year old DS's yoghurt with a spoon?

258 replies

Anna8888 · 02/07/2008 13:04

Franco-American mother I know a little - her DSs are at the same school as my daughter. They were having a picnic lunch in the park yesterday and she fed them each a yoghurt (in its entirety) with a spoon.

OP posts:
Aitch · 02/07/2008 20:31

well then that would seem to be a very valid reason to spoon feed a 7 year old. and a 4 year old, if both had SN. but anna does know these people, she said, and is operating on the basis that they are NT.

taking the thread at face value, then... spoon feeding an NT 7 and 4 year old yoghurt in a park is weird behaviour imo. as i may have mentioned.

plus, i think if anyone but Anna had posted this OP the responses would have been different.

cory · 02/07/2008 20:42

She says she knows them slightly. I knew my friends well, I met them regularly and I still didn't twig. I put all the odd things going on down to precious parenting. Not all children on the autistic spectrum are obviously different.

I may add that I only told a close friend of ds's problems today. She was shocked to realise that he has a genetic disorder which is progressively deteriorating and which makes it virtually impossible for him to manipulate a knife. You wouldn't know that if you just knew him from school and playdates. In fact, his teacher is the only person who knows- and that's because I told her.

Dd is a bit more obvious- but only if you meet her on a bad day.

I have nothing against Anna and often read her posts with interest. It is my experience with my friend's daughter that makes me very wary of judging a family, even one I think I know. Because the time I did judge- I was wrong.

mummy2olivia · 02/07/2008 20:46

My DD is 5 and I sometimes feed her. She revels in it and loves the feeling of 'being a baby' again.

Saying that she is very mature, well adjusted and clever.

It really isnt a big deal.

shatteredmumsrus · 02/07/2008 20:50

was she is a rush and wante to shove it down their necks quickly? Or they could of been playing a nice game and pretending they were babies again?

onebatmother · 02/07/2008 20:52

for crying out freaking loud! weird behaviour is getting stressed about things like this, and making children feel BAD. It really, really, is not feeding them a freakin yoghurt in a park.

And anyone who disagrees with me is a freaking freakoid.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 02/07/2008 20:53

Are the children very distractible?

Ds1, aged 9, severely autistic, severe learning difficulties, big motor planning problems is quite capable of feeding himself a yoghurt (anything really, although he needs meat cut up for him - he clears up to and gets his own water, sauce etc) but some days he is so away with the fairies he is fed to make sure he eats. Otherwise he can't concentrate long enough to eat and I get fed up of telling him to get back to the table/look at his plate etc.

DS2 (5) and ds3 (3) do NT versions of the same at times. I sometimes shovel food into them just to speed things up.

TBH I wouldn't notice someone in the park doing this- would be nice to get the time to sit down long enough to judge! I wouldn't be shocked if I did see it though.

onebatmother · 02/07/2008 20:54

I'm very glad that's cleared things up. Now, what do we think of Mugabe/Gordon/the reality of Frenchwomen's grasp of fashion? I hear the Ibero-Francos are the very worst, in this respect..

Kewcumber · 02/07/2008 20:55

"making children feel BAD" posting an AIBU thread on MN is making children feel bad - is that not a tad of an over-reaction?

Yours,

Freakin Freakoid.

onebatmother · 02/07/2008 20:59

Dear Freakin Freakoid - I v much doubt that the OP managed to keep her lips unpursed until she got to her computer. And in any case, I am still - until we have certified evidence (upholdable in a UK court of law, none of this Eu nonsense) assuming that the crazeee yoghurt feeding mentalist was doing what her child wanted her to do.

Also I am taking the piss. No need for your s here.

Ladytophamhatt · 02/07/2008 21:01

I don't really think its shocking but it is very odd.

If it was me, I woudl ahve asked why they couldn't feed themselves.

Kewcumber · 02/07/2008 21:07

Dear OBM,

"I am taking the piss. No need for your s here." I'm sure you can appreciate that we freaking freakoids cannot tell from your post and would not assume you were unkindly taking the piss

I remain,

Yours,

Freakin freakoid.

PS Pursedness of lips of OP wasn't taken into account when deciding relative AIB'ness of thread only content of OP.

Mutt · 02/07/2008 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

margoandjerry · 02/07/2008 21:10

Can we have some clarification on whether the yogurt in question was Yeo Valley organic unsweetened or a strawberry Munch Bunch?

We cannot unleash the full power of MN judgement without this crucial piece of information.

heronsfly · 02/07/2008 21:10

What nationality were they ?. We went to a wedding last year, the groom was from somewhere far away,cant remember where ,several children up to age 9/10 were being spoon fed we had to keep telling our children not to stare,it turned out that it was seen as an act of love,and the groom said his parents would still love to feed him if he allowed it.

wulfricsmummy · 02/07/2008 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

nkf · 02/07/2008 21:16

Was it a silver spoon?

onebatmother · 02/07/2008 21:22

sorry Kewcumber - I'm confused as to what your actual concern was with my original post, or my response to your response.

PollyPentapeptide · 02/07/2008 21:37

I cannot believe that I have just read all 8 pages of this thread!

Ladytophamhatt · 02/07/2008 21:43

Mutt, if you/I/the Op know the woman/family well enough from seeing them everyday and is sharing the park bench to eat lunch I think they know eachother well enough to ask the question.

If I was teh woman feeding her children and the OP was sitting with me, I'd answer it

Mutt · 02/07/2008 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ladytophamhatt · 02/07/2008 21:50

well,

theres something to judge then.

Why doesn't the OP talk to teh woman?
she sees her everyday, in various circumstances....why on earth don't they tlak??

is she wearing too much boden and not enough Primark?
maybe its vice versa....

cory · 02/07/2008 21:58

Ladytophamhatt on Wed 02-Jul-08 21:43:16
"Mutt, if you/I/the Op know the woman/family well enough from seeing them everyday and is sharing the park bench to eat lunch I think they know eachother well enough to ask the question."

Well, if you have it firmly in your mind that they are just being precious/weird you might not want to ask for fear of seeming rude.

Which was how it took me a long time to find out that my friends's dd had Aspergers.

Obviously, asking about SN wouldn't have been rude, but asking why they were doing such weird parenting would have been. Therefore I was unable to find out that they weren't being weird, because I assumed that they were being weird. Which meant I couldn't ask for fear of suggesting that they were weird. Which was how I didn't find out that they weren't, in fact, being weird. IYSWIM

snickersnack · 02/07/2008 22:03

dh and I have spent the last 25 minutes discussing at what point in their lives you should stop spoon feeding your children yoghurt in French parks for fear of censure. That's 25 minutes of our lives we're never going to get back...though it raised some interesting questions about one's right to judge other people, and exposed some serious divisions in what I had hitherto thought was a united viewpoint on public spoon feeding. So maybe not entirely wasted.

IorekByrnison · 02/07/2008 22:10

Zut alors! Is this still going on?

Next time I go to a French park I will be feeding my child a yoghurt as a matter of principle. Even if she is 25.

Knax · 02/07/2008 22:12

This is more gripping than most threads and i'm most perturbed that I would spend so long reading it when i should be in bed/ doing anything else. I got your obscure pelling reference onebat by the way!
Shock horror I still give my two year old a night and morning bottle of milk, and sterilise the bottle! I know he's too old for it but he likes it and doesn't seem to have suffered from it so there. I find the holier than thou mother brigade quite tedious but amusing in a way, and they probably don't have enough laughs to keep them busy....
keep up the good work posters!

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