Would you find this inappropriate? (Manager)

[redeoof]

I do not like my manager at all, extremely patronising and loves to micromanage - so my view may be biased.

I had an emergency dentist appointment yesterday, I was out the afternoon and in the surgery for 4 hours. I was in pain and I’m on antibiotics.

I joined a meeting today and there were other people on the call and he announced - how are your teeth? So what exactly happened?

Surely this could have been saved for a private conversation? And actually I don’t need to tell him specifics. But to ask me in front of people.

Oh it’s only your teeth! I could understand your arse

Perhaps he wanted people to know you hadn’t been skiving.

At least he asked.

😂

Who was the meeting with? Your own team, it sounds fine. External clients/partners maybe slightly inappropriate.

Listen OP, if you're going to go down that route over teeth, you really need to chill out. Perhaps he was showing some concern as your line manager out of politeness.

"It's been a bit grim, thanks for asking, I will give you the details later."

The answer to this sort of thing is always to be exceptionally (and explicitly) boring/neutral, and then change the subject. "Oh, it's a really boring story, but I'll live. Anyway, catch me up on what's happening - Dave how's it going with XYZ?"

Ffs its not like it was an emergency gynae appointment and he asked about the state of your vagina.

Well, that all depends on who the meeting was with, close colleagues who knew, or external strangers 🤷‍♀️
Difference is a bit insensitive or inappropriate

True but is also dependent on whether she updated him or not and if it was the first opportunity for him to ascertain how she is doing.

Yes, and that would be a bit insensitive.

Is MN where all the over sensitive, lacking in humour folk come…

Inappropriate... what the fuck are you talking about? He's asking how you got on at the dentist, not saying your boobs look great.

Asking how someone is is insensitive these days?

It’s really difficult because everything can be taken the wrong way. Wrong to ask, wrong not to ask, wrong to reply, wrong to say you don’t want to discuss.

Personally I wouldn’t have minded and just given a very short answer

I can't say I'd overly like it, simply because I wouldn't reference the nature of any team members private appointment on a teams call attended by others anyway, and would appreciate the same in return. It's poor judgement IMO but I as a one off and given the context I would probably swallow it and accept he meant well. It's not serious enough to warrant much more than that really but I would dislike him a bit for it and wouldn't have given much back on the call when asked other than 'fine' and a subject change.

I wouldn’t call this inappropriate, no.

But so much always depends on tone and context.

If he’s a controlling twat with form for questioning your medical absences, and he says it in a sneery way that suggests he doesn’t believe you actually had anything done to your teeth at all and wants to put you on the spot in front of everyone then yes, I get why it would piss you off.

But if he’s that sort of person there is nothing to be achieved by calling him out / lodging a complaint as it will seem like a massive overreaction on your part and will play into his hands.

Not letting him get a rise out of you is your best approach. PPs have suggested some good responses.

I hope you feel better soon!

😂

I would have said ‘ thank you John but I don’t think it’s appropriate to talk about here’.
I’m actually amazed at other people’s posts. It’s none of anyone’s business.