To wonder why people used to marry so young

[estrella167532839]

In 1990 the average age for getting married was 24. I know couples who got married when they were 21/22 and had only just graduated from uni. I can’t imagine being married that young.

At the moment, it seems like most people get married in their 30s, if at all.

Women were allowed thier own bank accounts but before 1975 many/most banks required either your father or your husband permission to open the account. There was a sex discrimination act in 1975 that changed that.

Religion, social norm's, acceptable behaviour, traditional norm.
Today we dont need a man to tell us what we can Do earn or be.
Marriage to me is religous reason's nothing more.

Stating that my experience is 'rubbish' is rude.

I also lived it. Just differently to you.

I think you may have misread the date

she’s talking about the 1990s.

first woman to graduate in the U.K. was in the 1880s.

By 1990 living together was normal but people were functioning adults a lot younger in my opinion. That said my dd married at 25

The 90’s was the decade of my twenties. I don’t recognise what posters are saying about living in sin etc. Bonkers. This was the decade that gave us the Spice Girls and girl power. I graduated uni, got on a grad scheme, lived with my partner for years. Didn’t get married until my 30’s and that wasn’t unusual.

That was true in the 90s as well though, the era referenced in the opening post.

Was it though? I was living with my boyfriend in Ireland then and it was quite normal.

I think its actually more to do with the fact that we were ready to properly embark on grown up life. I graduated in 1988. By early 90s a 24 year old couple could buy a house and start a family.

I didn't actually get married until my mid 30s

Did you not read the OP? We're talking about 1990 not 1960.

Also, the OP's premise is wrong. The average age for marriage in 1990 in the UK was 27 for men and 25 for women.

Yes it still was, especially in rural chapel-going areas. Many people also left school at 16 and went straight to the workplace. Getting married at 21 having worked for 5 years was the norm for many. They were considered responsible adults!

Working class, born 1964, got my first mortgage when I was 21. It was a doer upper. I couldn't afford furniture so used crates, boxes and had an odd assortment of furniture donated by family. Nothing matched, no central heating and I was as proud as hell.

Mates came round for a housewarming and it was a painting party, they brought their left over paint and picked a room to decorate. And they did a good job.

I have a mismatch of plates, knives and forks and 2nd hand curtains that fell short of a psychedelic nightmare - from the 60's & 70's. Had a mattress on the floor.

Took me years to get it looking decent with furniture from 2nd Hand shops. We weren't proud, we were practical. No expectation of holidays let alone holidays abroad or my nails or eyebrows being done. No phone, had to wait for a payrise before I could afford to have one installed. Had a 2nd hand twin tub and a washing line for laundry.

Aah those were the days.

Definitely not common in the north then.

In 1990??

But that was still the case in some communities in 1990! Very few children were born out of wedlock in our rural area.

Maybe because there were only three channels on television - and they were in black and white?

That is most definitely not my experience of the 90s.

Nope, my mum had a bank account pre 1975 as did my gran, she used to hide money in it from my grandad, But yes in 1975 women were able to get mortgages in their own name.

It’s hard to articulate the nuance.
Yes people were having pre marital sex.
But actually flaunting it and moving in with someone with no intention to marry wasn’t as acceptable in 1990. Obviously area and social circle dependent.

It sounds more like it.

I remember the 1990s well and a family friend got married at 24 and the comments were along the lines of "well what can you expect: she dropped out of university so she hasn't got much else to do."

So I don't think marriage at 24 was the norm in all circles in the 1990s. There was definitely a move towards career first for women by then. Which is one reason women got married earlier once: less distracted by a career. Also people now live longer so it is not as far, percentage-wise, through their life expectancy, and also I expect advances in fertility treatment has been a factor. Also more accessible travel.

ETA actually now I think about it, she was 23. But it was still seen as young enough to comment.

I was born in 1957 and had a bank account when I was 10.

I didn't go to Uni until much later in life and went to a normal state run comprehensive school in the 70's and my friends were sexually active and living with boyfriends before marriage int he early 80's, and not necessarily the man they married.

Yes . Later generations have become increasingly infantilised. You see it every day on Mumsnet.

It was normal to leave home by 21, back in the late 70s. Earlier if you didn't go to uni. We were responsible for ourselves from a much younger age. I moved 100 miles away from my family for my first job at 21. I expected to be (and had to be) an entirely independent adult from that point.

Now, nearly every day on Mumsnet, someone points out the inaccurate trope that young people's brains aren't fully formed until 25, or that a parent wanting their child to move out in their mid to late twenties, is being completely unfair.

So yes, adulthood came earlier back then, and marriage was part of being an adult.

Statistics actually show that people that live together for a long time before getting married are much more likely to separate interestingly. We seem to have lost the commitment that used to come with marriage now...I got married young not long out of Uni and have never once regretted it. We celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary next year.