To ask if you’ve ever seen a post about you/someone you know on here?

[WoesFromAuntFlo]

I read a post recently that made me think the person who wrote it might be someone I know IRL. I didn’t say anything, but it’s been playing on my mind a lot.

I know people are worried about being too ‘outing’ with details but does it actually happen? Have you seen a post you think is about you or someone else you know?!

Posting here for traffic and as it’s the place I’d least want to see a post about myself 😂

Yes I have, once. A friend who posted asking for advice on a very specific and personal issue which she had also spoken to me about IRL. It was 100% my friend posting.

Although it obviously wasn't intentional, I felt irrationally guilty for reading it, like I was spying on her somehow. I made a conscious effort to erase her username from my memory and I don't think I have come across her again since! I didn't tell her I'd seen her post.

Yessss this is a bit how I feel! Like I shouldn’t have read it. I’d definitely never bring it up with her. Feels intrusive doesn’t it?!

I’ve been on mn for many years. Once I did a post about someone which they definitely saw. And twice I have seen close friends posting! It was things they’d already mentioned to me, so I knew the story inside out. But I didn’t read the thread when I saw it as it felt intrusive.

You do know that we’re all really anxious now that you’re our RL friends and you know don’t you?

Yes, very recently! They took screenshots and sent them to my husband having dug very far in to my past posts. I have had to get MN to delete all my previous posts as it felt horribly intrusive, like someone digging through my mind. Now I will only post things that I don’t mind being public knowledge, like this waves to weirdo stalker.

I let someone know via Mumsnet DM that her post about her children was identifying and she replied she didn't think it was. I said are your kids initials XX and YY and she said obviously it is identifying then! I suggested she change user name.

Yes, someone I used to work with who is a total cow posted about how all her DPs friends had fallen out with her/didnt like her, especially the women.

I was not remotely surprised. She’s a complete misogynist.

Yes, I have. DD told me about her friend at school, staying in the hols with her grandparents in [a country abroad] and a problem, then I saw a post from someone saying they lived in [the country abroad] and her grand-DD was staying, and the same problem. So I knew who that poster was!

So when I post, I change the unimportant details a bit, or keep things vague.

I recognised another mum from DDs primary school days. She made it very identifiable and I was 100% sure it was her.
It made the playground a bit cringe cos I knew all about her husbands impotence.

Yes, a post about a child in my DCs class. The post was complaining about how they were being picked on by the teacher and generally moaning about the school (there were a few tells in the post and a quick search of the users history confirmed to me it was who I thought it was). The child was an absolute pain whose mother continually ignored and minimised their poor behaviour. It really showed how posts are very much from one person’s perspective.

I have seen posts with identifying features which were very similar to stories told at the school gates.

I’ve also seen a post which I’m sure was by a close relative (which told a hilariously biased version of some family drama).

However years ago I received a PM from a MNer convinced that I was her SIL (I’m definitely not) so we don’t always get identifications correct.

I change names pretty frequently just in case.

I've recognised 3 people on here! I assume none of them thought their posts were identifiable, but they were to me.

Yes I have.

Yes I recognised someone once on a baby names thread. Her DD’s have very unusual (but beautiful) names and she was having some temporary regret about the youngest one. I messaged her to say I recognised her in case she wanted to name change but I didn’t advance search her as that felt too intrusive.

I don’t really care if someone recognises me. I wouldn’t share anything too personal anymore. But I have in the past so I recommend changing name every few months and asking for anything too obvious to be deleted.

I wonder if anyone’s read a thread and thought “oh shit that’s me” - I always think the MIL ones must be rife for this!

I value MN for the opportunity to see things from different perspectives so hopefully if they did identity themselves it might be helpful (and hopefully not too hurtful)

If I see someone posting to complain about their older sister, or brother’s wife it’s an opportunity to think about how those situations and relationships play out in my own life even if they aren’t (I hope!) written about me.

Yep.

Many years ago a younger relative of DP's found herself in a situation where she was in the middle between her partner and her Mum. It was pretty obvious that it was an abusive relationship, but she couldn't accept that from anyone close to her.

She was talking to DP about it one day, I overheard as I was working from home. Afterwards I sent her a link on Facebook messenger to the relationships board on here, with the line "If you want an unbiased opinion". Never got a reply.

A few weeks later, I see a post that was pretty clearly hers. You lot did your jobs over the course of about a fortnight, and suddenly she was free of one arsehole.

I once replied to a thread on here and then, weeks later, my friend was telling me about an issue and mentioned that she'd posted it on MN. I thought hang on, that sounds familiar... it was the same thread. I was happy to realise I'd given the exact same thoughts/advice IRL as I had on here. I didn't tell her 😆

Yes. A friend and I both know we are on here. I replied to a post of hers (without knowing it was her) and she recognised me as we’d discussed the issue in real life before and I gave the same advice on here!

It doesn’t bother me as there is nothing I would say on MN that I wouldn’t say to her face.

I recently saw a post and realised it was my STBXH, asking an AIBU about me , posting in a deliberately vague way so people thought he was the mum. I was quite amused by it 😆

Yes but I think I found the thread by googling the situation - i wasn’t expecting it to be the exact situation I was involved with! it was very weird and I closed the thread and didn’t read it.

Every time this question is asked I'm surprised by how many instances there are of posters recognizing each other

I once thought I might have recognized someone and sent a PM, turned out not to be the same person but it was a very similar situation so I guess you can't always be certain

My SIL once recognised me on here, sent me a link to my thread with a sort of “haha sounds familiar!” message. Luckily it wasn’t anything I minded her reading or knowing about.

I change usernames frequently now, and I change minor details to avoid outing myself.

A few years ago I realised that if you did an advanced search of me and put all the salient details into Google, you could find out who I was. I name changed and have changed my name regularly since.

I suspect it's even easier with AI - this was before ChatGPT being launched.