I don’t rely on my mum for childcare, but she loves my DD (2) and watches her occasionally. It feels like she thinks she’s only there for my DD and completely bypasses me. She is very temperamental and will fall out with you easily over anything.
I’m well aware that grandparents spoil their grandkids, and I honestly don't mind a bit of spoiling as I spoil her myself. But it’s the total, blatant ignorance to absolutely anything I say.
She’s been teaching DD words like "fat" and "ugly". The other day DD looked at me and said "mama has an ugly nose," and she immediately said Gran told her to say it.
There is also total defiance over food. If I say no to treats, she overrides me. A few weeks ago at McDonald's, I said no to an ice cream and 5 minutes later she went and bought her one anyway right in front of me.
She pumps her full of absolute junk to the point of making her ill. She took her to a farm recently and gave her two ice creams, chocolate, McDonald's, and Monster Munch, and DD was violently sick for hours when she got home.
On top of that, she shoves a phone in her face constantly. At a family party last weekend, DD was having a great time dancing, but my mum handed her a phone three separate times for no reason, meaning I had to deal with the screen-withdrawal meltdowns later.
Frankly, I can’t be bothered with the drama and the arguing, but I feel like I've had enough. I do feel really guilty because I don’t want to deprive DD of a relationship with her grandmother, but her health and wellbeing have to come first. AIBU to just completely stop the solo trips and babysitting, and strictly stick to visits where I am there to supervise?