To pick DD up during my WFH lunch?

[cosyblankies]

I have a 4 year old who started reception in September. I'm a single parent and I work 30 hours per week, usually 9am-3.30pm (half an hour for lunch unpaid). I work from home 2 days per week. On my WFH days I'm thinking of using my lunch to pick DD up from school at 1.50pm, then bring her home and log back on for the remaining 1.5 hours of my working day and she can do her homework or watch TV. She's older now so should be fine to occupy herself and it will save me £70 per day not having to pay childcare to pick her up and look after her for 90 minutes. AIBU?

Yes, but presumably they aren't trying to work at the same time?

Are you in northern Ireland where r,1 and 2;finish at 2pm and only P3 and up stay until 3?

It’s her lunch break?

The bit where she's bringing her 4 year old to work with her is the bit she needs to ask permission for.

Nobody would consider taking their 4yo every Wednesday to the workplace.... Nor would it be allowed usually.

It's not the collecting in her lunch break that's the issue. It's working while caring for a small child that she needs to ask permission for

Where I work, the policy is that you cannot be caring for primary school aged children at the same time as trying to work. I've approved it in a couple of extraordinary cases, but colleagues have been clear that it's just not possible to have a small (and I count a 4 year old in that category) child at home, keeping them occupied for long, whilst trying to work.

OP, do you have an option to stop work at lunchtime, and then make up your time in the evening, once your little one is in bed? You could surely do a couple of hours then, if your employment allowed it.

£70 per day? Youre paying 35 an hour for childcare?

No, it's not a short day in NI, it's a day that is appropriate for the ages of the children. Perhaps England should try it.

But why did you make England the default? An OP shouldn't have to point out that she's from a different country to England (if she even is) 🙄

It's so arrogant when people do this.

Oh come on, it's her HOME. Of course her 4yr old is allowed to be in their own home. And I'm sure he'll be happy as Larry having his snacks and playing with his toys for 90mins.

No permission is required for her own child to be in her own home FGS.

No, you do not need your employers permission for your child to be in their own home while you are working from home

Some of you clearly have no experience of working from home and what is and is not possible while doing so. In my line of work, we regularly have to WFH around children and it’s not a problem at all.

You do if you simultaneously care for them

Several people were sacked from my organisation for doing this

But presumably OP does not work in a company where it is "no problem at all" or she wouldn't be asking the question (or have ever paid £70 for childcare).

I personally think it's unfair on the child to expect them to amuse themselves for that length of time week in, week out (will you be doing this in holidays as well?) but it feels like "children amsuing themselves while parents wfh" is the modern day equivalent of "latch key kids". Would love to see studies on the long term impacts on children (probably too early for these yet).

However, if OP clears it with her employer (or they have a policy relating to looking after children while wfh which she adheres to) and is happy to do so, then that's up to her.

@redskyAtNigh what I find particularly strange is the number of people portraying it as a positive "oh and then I can avoid childcare" like childcare is going down the mine and entertaining themselves while mum works from home isn't actually just hours of screen time. (Sorry I know MN children teach themselves mandarin and other improving quiet activities but in the real world, kids doing this are stuck on screens)

£70 is a lot for 90 minutes.
Do you know any older teenagers? One in the 6th form or studying childcare at college? They won't charge that much and if they are studying childcare will have a DBS and probably first aid.
Just thinking at least that way they can pick up and entertain your DD until you finish work.

While I kind of agree with you, and I certainly don't see anything idyllic about trying to work and entertain small children simultaneously,.after school clubs can vary wildly in quality. Our local after school club was just a few boxes of crap toys pulled into the school hall and a couple of "childcare workers" who were reluctant to peel their eyes off their screens. I only sent DS about 3 times before changing my work pattern so I could pick him up (I then did the extra hours once he was in bed). In contrast the holiday clubs round here are excellent

I’d go for it, depending on your job and if it will flex to interruptions

It's not about being in their home.

It's about them being at work with their parent.

There's no other adult in the house, so if anything is needed or happens it's OP sorting it out.

I stand by my statement,if the 4yo isn't allowed to go to work with the OP to the office or wherever, then they can't go to work with them in the house 🤷

Yes, I do understand that childcare isn't always high quality.

Personally I still think being with other children has its benefits. The after school club my kids go to has many activities on offer but what my younger one and his friend most like to do at it is a complex game involving a bush, some mud and carefully selected sticks 😂In many ways, it is the modern version of "playing out"

The reality is the child won't be entertaining herself, it's another WFH/Childcare scenario. However, until we've all walked in the shoes of a solo parent trying to juggle the demands of this (practically and financially) then we can't really understand and it's easy to get judge about it. I say that as someone who had a MIL for all of this.

Even aside from her missing school, the ‘she’s older now’ surely would be more appropriate for an 11 yo/12 yo? Should a 4 yo really just be left to it? I’m not talking dangers or anything, but just should they not have the possibility of chatting to someone/ asking for something/talking about what they’re thinking/ not having to occupy themselves? A teen id say fine, but 4 is not ‘older now’- they’re just older than 3!!

I think it's important to note the difference between "this is totally fine, 4 is plenty old enough" and "well, this isn't ideal, but if you have genuinely exhausted all other possible options and are left with literally nothing else, then it's not awful".

I don't think parents wfh while caring for young children (and at my work there was a recent case of a parent wfh with a young baby and a toddler) should become the norm. Older children and teens, fine (and we can argue how we define "older" but it's clear cut that 4 is not old enough)

As it's only 1.5 hours on the two days I think asking to work Flexi time would be best and to do these hours in the evening. Assuming DD goes to bed around 7, is settled by 8, you could then work til 9.30-10 if able to.

Yes it's fine, do it!

Millions of us juggle family and childcare, successfully albeit rather stressfully at times! Unless OP isn’t performing in the time she is working then she can do what suits her, I’m assuming those posting in uproar have never had to spin all these plates. You’ll generally find single parents work hard to perform well as they rely on one precious income

In Scotland most 4 yr olds aren't even at school, they have to turn 4 before the February before they start school so minimum 4.5 and don't need to start until the August after they turn 5. My eldest was 5.5 in P1. Nursery is funded until they are 5.4 too. I agree expecting barely 4 yr olds to do full days at school is bonkers.