To pick DD up during my WFH lunch?

[cosyblankies]

I have a 4 year old who started reception in September. I'm a single parent and I work 30 hours per week, usually 9am-3.30pm (half an hour for lunch unpaid). I work from home 2 days per week. On my WFH days I'm thinking of using my lunch to pick DD up from school at 1.50pm, then bring her home and log back on for the remaining 1.5 hours of my working day and she can do her homework or watch TV. She's older now so should be fine to occupy herself and it will save me £70 per day not having to pay childcare to pick her up and look after her for 90 minutes. AIBU?

Have you seen the rising unemployment stats, the rates of pay etc?
Sure, there may be people in the fortunate position of not having to GAS, but there are probably more who either feel very uncertain about the job security or are in the miserable place of looking for work.

BIG difference in going to the gym or doing whatever the hell you want in your breaks. Encouraged even.
This is not the same as being responsible for a young child While You Work.

Why are you telling me this? I don’t do it. Or have you quoted me by mistake? 🤔

My workplace actually expects and welcomes that there are times when dc will be in the background.

Plenty of people work from home with DC there - but it gives WFH a bad name that tarnishes all the people that do it properly without taking the piss. Which is why you are getting a backlash on here.

£70 per day for 90 minutes of after school care seems extremely steep. I'm in SW England and you can get 8-5 in a private nursery for that.

Mine could easily entertain themselves for 90 minutes at that age so it would be fine.

No don't do this. DD will be in year 6 next year and that will be the first year she will be expected to entertain herself at home whilst I am working, to prep for secondary school. Any younger than that and it is just not fair on her or your employer.

It was the phrase, 'coming in to me all the time'. I think on the thread (not specifically you), there is this idea that the mother is in a home office, while the child is alone.

I work on the dining table. DC is in the same room as me with all of their toys.

Why does it give WFH a bad name?

If all work is done.
If work is done well.
If clients aren't disrupted.
If meetings aren't disrupted.

What about having an extra person in the room gives a bad name? No different to being in an office.

I think 4 year old's still need to be supervised

I think there are always people
who take advantage. I’ve said (and my
manager even agrees) that I feel like a bit of a mug sometimes as I never decline meetings or office days using the reason of school runs. So many people I work with have 2 school runs a day blocked out of their calendar but are still taking lunch breaks and finishing at usual time (it’s visibly obvious they are not making up the time). Meanwhile I’m spending money on wrap around to attend meetings/site visits.

To add these people don’t have the same line manager as me so it’s not for her to say anything.

So you'd be cool if your colleague brought their 4 year old to work?

I know people get so riled up about this and I do get it as there are always people that take the mick.
But when I was in an office I arguably achieved a lot less of my work in a given day than when working from home as every one was chatting over their monitors (open plan space), tea breaks were social occasions etc. Mostly with people I didn't actually work directly with. Not to mention all my colleagues who were taking constant smoking breaks.

Also having your child entertain themselves in their own home for an hour and a half while you work is very different to bringing them to an office for obvious reasons... But yes mine is less distracting than many of my adult colleagues were in the office.

All children - and jobs - are different. Just because it might not work with one child/job combo, doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work with a different one.

My previous job as a call handler + my ADHD DC1? Not a chance.

My next job in low-level admin + my incredibly placid DC3? Totally fine.

Clear it with your manager. I'm sure they'll think that's just why they let you WFH.

If I never saw the 4 year old I'd be fine with it. What would anyone have to be "uncool" about in that situation?

This might shock you but I work in the global HQ of a multinational business. The in-building gym is always busy throughout the day - how dare people exercise while they’re working!

Well presumably not doing it while they're working. They're doing it on their breaks?

Well this is going to get silly.

Clearly no one has a problem with people doing what they want during their breaks - whether that's collecting a child, going to the gym, watching a couple of episodes of Friends, putting a load of washing on etc.

Doing anything other than working when you are meant to be working - whatever the time of day is - is wrong.

Of course people have very flexible patterns, and that's fine. Of course people have employers who are happy for their staff to get the work done whenever they can.

It doesn't surprise me, but that isn't the point. Your company clearly has its culture of what is acceptable.

What isn't acceptable is people WFH but then doing things widely outside what the company expects. Some companies are happy with flexible hours, some aren't. Some, I assume, are happy with simultaneous work & looking after young children - many however I assume are not - at least on a regular basis.

Yes if she finishes school at 1.50 and you use your lunch break. I’d say however that it wasn’t until my daughter was around 7 or 8 that she stopped pestering me during meetings and asking for snacks. I still did it and git through my work but just saying it’s not easy.

I can’t even do this with my year 1 child

It’s happened the odd time the past year (I normally don’t work Thursday) but the odd time I will do overtime that day - I’ve no afterschool club that day so I’ve had to do this - it’s always been awful - she says she’ll be good- but there’s snack/food requests, she’s bored, can’t find anything to watch, why can’t I lay with her, this is boring …list goes on

just pay for afterschool club

Yeah we have gym on site and can also book half hour massages…doesn’t have to be during lunch break either!

But how are you 100% focussed on your work if you are caring for a young child. You either aren't paying enough attention to the child or aren't paying enough attention to your work.

This wouldnt be allowed where I work. People will overlook an exceptional day because we all know theres no childcare that will take a sick kid, but every day as routine, no way.

I have no issue with someone going to the gym, or out for a long lunch, or for a hair appointment,.or looking after a child. As long as they are honest and up front about it.

That's the question most people with young children at home are not addressing. If they are hiding it from their manager they could lose their job. Whereas if they have an upfront conversation and make a sensible proposal to their manager they may well get permission. What isn't ok is hiding it and being duplicitous. That's a crazy risk to take.