To pick DD up during my WFH lunch?

[cosyblankies]

I have a 4 year old who started reception in September. I'm a single parent and I work 30 hours per week, usually 9am-3.30pm (half an hour for lunch unpaid). I work from home 2 days per week. On my WFH days I'm thinking of using my lunch to pick DD up from school at 1.50pm, then bring her home and log back on for the remaining 1.5 hours of my working day and she can do her homework or watch TV. She's older now so should be fine to occupy herself and it will save me £70 per day not having to pay childcare to pick her up and look after her for 90 minutes. AIBU?

It very much depends what you do. I WFT and did it successfully with a toddler. I had to be VERY organised. Drinks, snacks on hand. Microphone ready to mute at a moments notice, because there WILL be interruptions. Make sure toys that will occupy her are out. Messy play stuff that needs supervision put away.

Play dough was always a good one. DC would happily play with that at the dining table I was working on for an hour.

As I said, it does depend what you do. I was in non-urgent meetings most of the time so muting occasionally was fine. And it's normal to need a quick loo break (e.g. fulfil a quick request from DC).

I see from another post up thread that you are a manager, so you must be correct.

What is it with these posts about wfh?
The W stands for work.
If you're looking after a child you're not working. Same as you couldn't have a child sat next to you at a till in tesco/ at a hotel reception / in an operating theatre. You are being paid to work.
You can't leave a year old for 90 minutes to occupy themself.
Would you be happy if the teacher did that? Right kids I'm just off to the staffroom for 90 minutes you'll be fine won't you?

People are bonkers on this thread.
Sometimes you have to make compromises. If you feel your four year old can entertain herself for an hour and a half, go for it.

I currently WFH with my reception aged son (5). He’s still not doing full hours at school, so this is how it is.

The idea that I’d quit my job because of a temporary interruption is laughable, but it’s undoubtedly what some people here expect. I get my job done and no complaints from work, who know.

My child isn't even the best behaved but he’s quite happy playing with his toys, eating snacks, getting Lego out. If a meeting is needed, you put the TV on. Op could likely manage doing the same.

I don’t support anyone taking the piss, but equally people are so rigid. It comes across as bitterness because towards WFH.

It's not "bonkers" to have an expressed opinion, even if that differs from yours.

This is EXACTLTY why I do not allow wfh in my company
Piss taking

It's interesting because there are lots of people who do this, and more while wfh. You're right about teachers and other workers. It's quite an eye opener.

I think the bigger issue here is why we are even living in a world where children are (at least in the UK) at school from 9-3 and parents are at work (generally) from 9-5. It’s ridiculous. I don’t like plonking my kids down in front of the tv for over an hour each afternoon while I finish the work that pays for our house, food, car, clothes, etc but what can I do? I console myself with the fact that as a child if the 80s I must have watched hours of tv and I still ended up with an MA somehow.

My kids would have been totally fine doing this at 4. They typically just wanted to flop as were exhausted so would have read books, watched telly and helped themselves to snacks whilst I worked. It also depends on your work. If you’re taking back to back client calls, it’s different to doing emails etc. My workplace when my kids were that age was very relaxed, friends would bring their older kids into work if they had a meeting afterschool. My boss had done this with his kids when they were little.

How does what you are planning to do fit in with your employers WFH policy?

My last employers policy explicitly forbade caring for children whilst WFH.

A compromise would be an emergency when there's no one available. Or a one off. Or an agreement with the employer.
That's not what the OP is proposing though is it?

I used to go to work with my mum in the 1980s when I was ill or in school hols. My DC stays home with me while I work from home after school or when they are ill.

My work is done. I've been offered 2 promotions while working this way. I'm always the fasted worker in my team. AND there are quality checks in place.

This 'it's not work if there is a child there' is a false narrative.

And all that is perfectly fine as long as it's agreed with the employer.
I've no problem with any of it
But I can't see anywhere where she is suggesting this

There are family-run hotels all over the world with children sitting behind reception drawing or playing while their parent works. The fact that this doesn’t happen in the UK is because it’s not permitted, not because it’s fundamentally undoable. Kids spend time in pubs and shops while their parents serve customers, kids plod along after their parents on farms. The stark division between work and family life in the UK is because of office culture, it’s not a prerequisite for doing the job. If WFH brings about a change to that, it’s a welcome one.

That was the 80s.

Reception "homework" is reading with mummy (or other parental figure). No 4yo is ok to entertain themself for 90 minutes regularly like that.

You can probably use facebook to find a locsl student who will do the pickup and do playtime at your home for a couple of hours at £15ph so much cheaper than your £70 formal childcare cost.

Those family run hotels are just that though. Family. Lots of self employed people have that flexibility
You can't take your child along to your job at Premier Inn.

It depends what your job is, whether the team are supportive. As a single parent in a supportive inclusive team I do similar with a slightly older child on a wfh day. I wouldn’t do it without being open about it though.

Also depends on your child. If you can leave a snack ready and they will be occupied pretty well with tv for most of the time I don’t see much problem. Mine is tired after school and doesn’t particularly want to play or chat till later.

She's a bit young. Having kids & working involves paying for childcare, its pretty unavoidable. If she was junior school age i'd say no prob (my 10 year old walks himself home at 3.30 a couple of days a week and is in the house while I/DH work) but 4 is really really little.

For me this is the litmus test.

If you're comfortable telling your manager that this is what you plan to do, and how it won't interfere with work, crack on

If you feel the need to hide it from them, it's an indication that it won't work as well as all that. It's also a recipe for disaster, I think, lying to your employer - what if they ask you to come in for a special event that day or even just dial into a teams meeting at that time, "oh sorry on the school run" won't go down well if you have hidden it.

The other thing for me is - no issue with children entertaining themselves on screens but personally I don't think it's particularly nice or good for children as young as 4 to come home from school to be told to be quiet for a couple of hours and not disturb mummy. I think it's better for them to be in childcare.

And now is the 2020s and I'm doing it too. Successfully. Managerial level. Getting promoted. Best in my team.

When my DC were young enough to need picking up I did do the school run while WFH (took about 15 mins for the journey then maybe 30 mins total by the time I had settled them down with a snack etc), my manager knew I was doing it and completely fine, and I worked 30 mins later to make it up.

I would actually talk to your employer about it and ask if they mind. It does seem a shame to pay when you could just ask to make time up later - if your work is that inflexible it might be time to look for something more family friendly.

The only issue I can see is 4 year olds are still quite young for being unsupervised so if you need to do lots of calls etc it might not be ideal.

If your work is 100% flexible about when you work your 6 hours then using 30 mins to do the school run instead of eating is fine imo. I don’t think ignoring a 4yo for fully 90 minutes every day is very plausible though. Would wou not be better off working something like 6-7.30 then having breakfast, getting ready, dropping at school, then working 9-1.30 and then picking her up. If you are expected to be present in meetings or calls after 2pm with a 4yo in the house then I don’t think it will fly.

My works policy is that children under 10 cannot be cared for while you are working-they have to be cared for by someone else. My boss has happily turned a blind eye in emergencies or as a one off when I’ve been stuck for childcare.

She’s 9 now but I couldn’t have done this when she was 4 as she would have been coming in to me all the time. It’s not sustainable.