To be at the end of my tether with DD's room?

[UndertheCedartree]

My 14yo DD has ADHD & Autism and really struggles with keeping her room tidy. But she hstes it if I go in and touch anything so I'm at a loss as to how to help her. It is just eso cluttered, messy and unorganised it is impossible for it to be cleaned properly. Has anyone got any experience of this and how to move forward?

Do you have teens? Or children with a diagnosed neurodivergence? If not, I suggest you are less insulting in tone about 'all the letters'. Or even if you have tbh since that's your kids you're talking about (except it isn't, it's mine).

The issue is not the CAUSE of the untidiness, it's the ability to do anything about it. Somebody NT you can say 'tidy it up or else'. Somebody with executive function issues, that is going to achieve precisely nothing. A ten year old is not a teen. My ND teen did what she was told when she was 10 as well.

With my two I had nothing to do with their rooms from secondary school age. They had to change sheets and everything, food was not allowed to go upstairs though.

That's why we insisted on the dirty washing up being brought out, obviously!

Yes many teens have messy rooms but not to this level,and can you imagine what its like to hate the mess, want it to be tidy but for s variety of reasons you can't, though you dont come across as someone that would have empathy for that.
My DD 'with all the letters' had the messy room that drove her to tears, she isnt lazy ( for from it, managing all the plates she has to spin on an average day takes far more work and energy than for most people), or spoiled but now with the addition of an additional 3 letters (OCD), it is immaculate ( on the surface anyway)and has to be , she still won't remember things or be able to find where the thing she needs is, you think she chooses to live like this?