AIBU to be furious at DS15 over his behaviour and holiday footwear choices?

[TheZanyPanda]

We’ve just landed in Florida for a week-long family holiday. There’s me, DH, DS13 and DS15. We spent a fortune before we came out getting everyone kitted out with new clothes and brand-new trainers—including a lovely pair of Nike Dunks for DS15.

We picked out his travel outfit together: hoodie, baggy joggers, and his box-fresh Dunks with classic white Nike socks. Looked great.

Fast forward to checking into the hotel last night. DS15 is sitting on the armchair, his joggers ride up, and I notice... no socks. (He spent all summer going sockless in old knackered Vans and Astro turf boots which I didn't mind because they were already ruined, but still!). Anyway, I went into their room later and it absolutely reeked. Turns out he wore his brand-new Dunks with no socks for the entire journey here! 🤢

This morning, before heading to the theme parks, we wanted a family photo. DH and DS13 look great in fresh shorts and new trainers with ankle socks. DS15? Sockless again.

I gently pointed out that:

1. He’s going to get horrific blisters in the Florida heat.
2. He’s going to completely ruin his new Dunks in days.
3. The trainer smell is already vile.

He kicked off in front of everyone, telling me to "grow up," "get a life," and "what’s it got to do with me?!"

Later, I popped back to the room for suncream and thought I'd take him a pair of trainer socks just in case. Had a quick nosey in his suitcase... there are literally zero socks in his entire bag. He has actively planned and packed to go sockless for the whole week.

DH says to leave him to it, but we are the ones sharing a room and hire car with his melting, stinking feet! AIBU to be furious with his behaviour and choices!

You are being unreasonable to choose to go to a country whose President is a warmongering raving loony - not to mention their human rights record . . .

Well, it DOES impact you as you paid for the trainers and will presumably be paying for the replacement pair, which may be needed sooner due to these ones being permeated with an unpleasant scent. I hope you told him this. It sounds like the real victim here is DS13, though, since you've apparently made him share a room with Oscar the Grouch!!

You are being unreasonable to choose to go to a country whose President is a warmongering raving loony - not to mention their human rights record . . . More pertinently, it is unreasonable to holiday with a sock-dodging teenage rebel in a country which has no foot deodoriser and no socks! Perhaps you can order them overnight delivery from Amazon Canada (at the 15yo's expense, of course)? Just be careful of the 250% tariffs.

Wind up. OP hasn’t been back

This is wild - travel outfits for a 15 year old boy?! I Can’t help but think he might not wear the socks as it’s the only thing he can decide to/ not to wear.

yep.

Yeah you just know the kid will wear the same joggers and t shirt for the entire holiday, and bring back a suitcase of unworn clothes.

o/p will claim he’s ruined the holiday by refusing to wear her carefully curated “holiday outfits”.

the only person I’ve ever known care this much about her kids clothes was an insufferable snob whose life was based on what other people thought of her. The idea that one of her children might not be turned out like a country casuals ad would send her into a spiral over “what would people think”.

nobody cares.

You definitely need to back off

I can’t get past that you picked out a fifteen year old’s ‘travelling outfit’, down to the socks, and that you are trying to police everyone’s clothes on holiday for the photographs. You sound quite mad.

My mum had a thing about footwear, drove me mad as a teen. I know she only wanted what was best for me and to make her own life easier (in our case it was hiking) but I didn’t understand for a good decade or two. I was really really internally worried about what everyone thought and just wanted to look like whatever I thought was “cool” at the time. It was because I was always left behind/bullied and I didn’t feel confident.

at uni, one of my housemates used to have an odor eating “spray” that killed bacteria n freshened up trainers. Maybe you need to invest in one of those on this trip. I’m sure a pharmacy/drug store will have some solution to stop the smell

I appreciate it’s annoying when you’ve just spent so much money on new trainers and they’re getting wrecked.

is another aspect of this that you want Instagram perfect pictures? Maybe he just doesn’t care to join in with that side of things.

Assuming this isn't a wind up, I agree you need to back off. Picking a travel outfit together? Let me guess, you packed his case for him too. Stop infantalising him. If he gets blisters, he'll learn. Buy some insoles and a spray or some flip flops.

My pet peeve with my 15yo ds is that he insists on wearing socks with crocs, which looks ridiculous. But he's comfortable and it's his choice to look ridiculous, so I really can't get worked up about it. He packs his own things, and has a decent level of autonomy and independence

If he was a raging misogynistic, racist, homophobic or generally unpleasant boy with an unpalatable lack of decent manners and values then that would be my hill to die on. Clothing choices? So be it.

As a parent of 5 sons, this is SO not a hill I would die on. Please try to relax and have fun.

I’m imagining the OP and her family trooping around the parks in matching outfits, down to the ‘fresh shorts, new trainers and ankle socks’. OP, wouldn’t it save you a lot of stress if you just took the family photos from the waist up? That way your child’s socklessness wouldn’t be recorded for posterity.

Trainers wash well in my experience. The key is to dry them quickly. Personally I’d let him crack on as long as those trainers were hung out the window, put in the corridor, put in an air tight bag - when not being worn. He’ll work it out.

It doesn’t get easier, I have a 22 year old, you just learn to get used to their ways. Mine lives in his room like a slob, but you have to let them be. He has a job, a degree and has recently passed his driving test. Doesn’t drink or do drugs etc, could be worse. I used to fret but it’s up to him.

I feel you pain, but I would not chose this battle to fight. Let him get blisters and smelly feet - he'll learn

I suspect if I "helped choose" my 15 year old sons "travel outfit" he's telling me to bugger off! Honestly, not worth arguing with him about. When his feet are covered in blisters, he'll learn.

To be fair we've all gone away on holiday before and forgot to pack something. I'd offer to buy him some more socks and if he doesn't wear them and get blisters then he'll learn. I honestly wouldn't let it bother you on holiday.

This. Brand new ‘outfits’ to go on holiday. ‘Agreed’ travel ‘outfits’. 🤪 Just wear clothes like everyone else does! Plus trainers etc are cheap in Fla, lots of Malls if you can stand it! Full of people who wear ‘outfits’. 😅

If this isn’t a wind up it’s given me a good laugh anyway! Stinky feet FTW.

Dunks are leather though. They dont dry like the fabric ones

You know the 13yo's socks or your DH's socks would almost certainly fit the 15yo don't you?
And, if we are talking trainer/sports socks, yours will be fine as well.

The 15 yo has gone away with you, lined up for a cheesy photo and then got told off for ruining the photo due to no socks... not surprised he went off on one.

Leave him to it, he will regret it if he gets blisters.

Your photo isn’t ruined, he could be wearing trainer socks for all people know.

As someone who does like everyone to be well presented because I think it gives a better impression overall when out I say this kindly….
…. you need to unclench!

I learnt a couple of years back that my SS15 is going through a period of experimentation and will wear the most clashing of things at times despite having a wardrobe full of lovely matching clothes that he himself picked in the shop when I took him shopping but will now insist on mixing and not matching 😂. He will also, no matter what he is bought, insist on wearing his Nike Air 270s in black that he also wears as school shoes.

It is what it is, we are where we are and I look forward to sharing the photos when he is 18 and far more image conscious 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Not sure why that posted twice!

Just pick up some powder from a chemist for his shoes, or a foot/shoe deodorant spray, get some plasters and tell him where it all is kf he needs it, and then forget about it and enjoy your holiday.

Look, going sockless is a thing a lot of people prefer. If it bothers you so much stop trying to force him to wear socks and find other avenues to make yourself feel better about it. Like shoe inserts that can be taken out and washed (flat socks is one such brand) and have him spray his shoes every day. Maybe even try and see if he'd be willing to wipe his feet down. And buy him cheaper shoes. No one is going to actually care about what brand of shoes someone is wearing unless they're hoity toity.