For feeling hurt by this? Baby shower / photo moment

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Last weekend was my sister in laws baby shower, we gave a good relationship but we’re not close, it’s totally different to my relationship with my SIS but that’s life and that’s ok. Nothings happened we have never been close.

Towards the end they did photos and one was a family photo. They called her side up, but not me, my mum passed so she wasn’t there, I was the only person on my brothers side. When I didn’t get asked it really hurt, I guess I want to ask aibu for feeling a bit sad, or am I being horribly over sensitive.

You are not close, you said it yourself. You are being oversensitive to be frank.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with them wanting a ‘family’ photo but I also don’t think you’re unreasonable to be a bit hurt. It’s a tricky one but the feeling will pass.

I think it's ok for them to want a family pic without various extended/in laws.

If you're not close it shouldn't really be upsetting. I would just think it was nice to be invited in that case - a photo at a party wouldn't bother me in the slightest. But then I also avoid baby showers like the plague.

we gave a good relationship but we’re not close, it’s totally different to my relationship with my SIS but that’s life and that’s ok. Nothings happened we have never been close

I think you just need to keep in mind that when she’s talking about family, at an event which is tailored around her (rather than an event where your brother would be attending as well), family is only ever going to mean her family. Simply because you’re not close, it probably never even occurred to her that your feelings would be hurt.

Do you think part of it was sadness about your mum?

YABU, I wouldn't want in-laws in a family photo.

You weren't in ONE photo. Big deal.

Think it was a bit rude, as you're the aunt just as much as her sister is (as in, when families get together, generally aunts/uncles go together, though obviously only one is a blood relative). But usually, you'll do as much for a niece/nephew whether they are yours, or your husband's by blood, so yes, you should have been included. Unless you've had any real issues with her, and in that case, she shouldn't have invited you if she was going to behave that way.
Going forward, try to work on your relationship and get closer, if that's what you want to do, especially if you want a close relationship with your niece/nephew.

So you are her partner’s sister? That’s fair though because she presumably wanted her direct family rather than in-laws

I think it was on you to get a photo with your SIL on her special day? You want it, then get it.

YABU but I Understand how you feel and that you would be upset.

My estranged family have done photos like that in the past at special occasions excluding me (they are my actual female blood relations). One was a mother, daughter, granddaughter type of one and as a daughter I wasn’t allowed in it.

she shouldn't have invited you if she was going to behave that way.

See I don't think she's "behaved" in any way.

It wouldn't occur to me to get (butt)hurt over this. I'd just think "oh they're having a nice family picture taken".

Yes over-sensitive

Can't imagine either of my sisters in law inviting me to a baby shower or visa versa (not that any of us had them) and our relationship is fine!

Totally normal to have a photo with your mum/ sisters but it's not like a wedding where every combination of family members needs a picture!

You say you are not one them why would you want to be in a family photo with someone you are not close with?

Thanks all. Feelings are feelings after all, but I do understand the reasons for not being included and maybe I’m comparing it to my relationship with my husbands sister who I’m very close to. It’s not that I don’t want a close relationship with her, it’s just been difficult in the past and she’s at times, made it feel unnatural. It is what it is and I will continue to try. We don’t have to be best friends it would just be nice to be closer, she does have a sister and so I imagine that changes the dynamic a bit.